Freedom 32

Local Canadian man retires at 33

2012-01-21T16:39:00.000+08:00

oh wait, we already ran this one last Jan.
instead, let's go with - Kung Hei Fat Choi, friends!
it's a fresh new year of Freedom, full of hope, dreams and dragons.
trust me, at the moment i am very unretired, but did enjoy my sabbatical over the Christmas break. to those who i had the pleasure of embracing, thank you and thanks for the kind words shared regarding these scribbles of mine. if we weren't able to cross paths, i extend an open invitation for a raincheque on the far east side, any time.

although tough to leave home, I return back to Hong Kong with renewed optimism that the next 365 will be easier than the first. a job, a Jacky, and in 2-months, a country club membership.
that's the way we roll in the Kong. (note - the bank is paying for most of this).
a few trips planned as well - Singapore in less than 24hrs, over the Chinese New Year break…along with our first ever trip to the land down under over Easter. no complaints, mates.

well, maybe one.
as of Monday, we relocated offices….and gone is my luxurious door-to-door mini-bus chauffeur. i'm choked. we've moved a little further away from the WASPy comforts of Central, now clocking in at an area known as Quarry Bay.
would i recommend out-of-towners to come check this hood out? nope.
don't get me wrong, it's still on the Island side of HK, but it's fairly desolate in parts…aside from the 7-11 & McDonalds on every other corner. and yes, it may be true that on my first day, i just happened to stumble upon a dead mouse & a lizard on route to the office…but hey, it's like seeing a squirrel & a bluejay scurry across the sidewalk back in the burbs.
upon crossing the threshold of the building, we're still not home yet. it's a very typical space in this region of the World - an old industrial building turned white collar. the hallways are dim and long, and the preferred option to get up & down from the 22/F are the service elevators.
non-ironically, smoking does go down in the boys room; i keep telling myself the persistent wetness on the floor is from avid hand-washing.

now to the positive. our office space is actually quite nice. it's bright, with consistent wifi & an actual meeting room to take up private conversations. (not having this private space previously required me to dismiss my employee in the pantry of a shared workspace. awkward.)
it's also the first time in 8-months that everyone is in the same room, sharing ideas, banter and my Absolute 80's selections……go team. before we moved our staplers in, it is a local custom to have a Fen Shui expert come in to help us, amongst other things, get our shuit together. i'm still very unfamiliar with the 'in's&out's' of it all, but i do know that they've stuck me in a prime seat in the 'wealth corner'. no, this doesn't mean they'll pay me more, however, it's meant to help me bring in more money for the biz. with that, and my 'Always Be Closing' poster on my wall, i can't fail. they've also placed a money plant in my corner, which i was sure to water the shuit out of as well before leaving this weekend.
happy new year, folks….get your dragon.

Year in Review/Holiday Special

2011-12-23T12:14:00.000+08:00

the final post for 2011 has taken some time to produce.
excuses? sure, i have a few:
busy with work, busy with the Christmas season, busy in a burger king bathroom (once).
with no big trips to speak of, and understandably, no new modeling callbacks to share, this final entry needed to marinate a little.

the cherished 'year in review' segment offers a chance to look back on the year that was, reflecting on what made it special/unique/shocking & downright Chinese. without sounding like a clichébag, the year has gone by so amazingly fast. it seems like just yesterday (groan) that AA & I were celebrating the new year by jumping on a plane destined for a land far far away.

once settled into our new home, i was soon compelled to start sharing my story, with you all, about a man, his cat and a few million Chinese residents.

it feels like it was just yeterday…..
(flip through scrapbook)
ah yes, here we go….
who could forget the classic maiden voyage -
Local Canadian man retires at 32!

in fact, i'm going to come right out and say it - i could do no wrong in January. be honest, you're still thinking about those shoe shopping adventures or reminiscing with delight about the time i tangled with 10,000 buddahs…. from my side, it felt like all of you were there with me each step….

through the months, the misadventures continued;
i can picture most of you scrolling through the various contributions, shaking your heads, thinking - 'oh, that's rich'.

come May, with Spring emerging, i messed it all up.
you all know the story.
i went and got unretired.

"since the last time you heard from me, I lost some friends.
well, hell, me and Romo, we dipping again."

without question, that selfish act of labour would forever change the relationship for some of us.
i take full responsibility, selling out for the dollar dollar, because apparently, dollar is what i need.
with the freedom was lost, came 6-figures (HKD, don't do the math) that i gained…..

"they say money can't buy happiness?
look at the amateur model smile on my face.
ear to ear, baby."

i've done my best to make amends, realizing that an average of 2 posts per month isn't going to win some of the early adopters back. i promise to strive for more drinking & dooring myself , more dress-up parties, and even the odd poem, as i know you enjoy them as much as i do.

and so here we meet, Year 1 complete.
sharing with you many highs, and of course, a few sighs.

the jetsetting asian trips, some surprise career dips.
a teacher by day, with dreams of the runway.

headhunted & stunted, we all must confess.
though, not too corporate for a night in gladiator dress.

2012 just ahead, visitors welcome with spare bed.
Merry Freedom to all, and to all a good Freedom.

btw - the Freedom tour is rolling into a city near you soon.
from Dec 23-Jan 5, catch the Freedom bus as it passes through Oakville, Toronto, and Rockport (where?), followed by a quick stint out on the West Coast, from Jan 6-8 in Vancouver.

you've been a great audience….don't change a thing.
Happy Holidays!

almost famous

2011-11-17T21:27:00.001+08:00

let's be honest, when you get thrown a 'to be continued' hanger, it's usually best if that next chapter follows shortly thereafter. realizing i'm 2-weeks overdue on that, a quick recap is likely needed.
when we last left this amateur model, a costume had been donned, a script was in hand, and a woman named Coins was rolling on the cam.

let me start back up again by first clearing the air. i may have misled my fans slightly with the mention of 'lines' as part of my audition. while it may have appeared as though i was on the fast track to a TV commercial, this is in fact not the case. instead, the rehearsal was intended for a much more 'live' style of performance.

skip ahead to Friday night.

7pm: i finished up my day job and rushed off to an extremely popular bar area in central named Lan Kwai Fong (LKF). after arriving to the arranged meeting spot, i suddenly got cold feet. i asked myself - "do i really want to get dressed up like a gladiator & stroll around the busiest area in Hong Kong?"
no, i don't really.

but damn it, when i started this thing, i knew it wouldn't be easy. so, like any good 'model', i decided to freshen up with a happy hour Heineken around the corner. not to confuse 'model' with role model, kids; though, it did do the trick. chugging down some courage, i was now ready to role play.

730pm: i was greeted by the event team, all conveniently wearing blue American Express golf shirts (i've never wanted to be in a collar so badly). they escorted me to my dressing room - a parked minivan on the side of the road. crouching & grappling, i struggled to remove my street clothes, trading them for what looked like a white hospital gown, that damn leather skirt again, and ye ole sandals. exiting the van, the street team got busy. the chest-piece was the first item to go on, although the front part kept separating from the back. "too muscular", they told me, playing to my ego early & often. wristlets on, shin guards strapped, sword, shield and broom hat in place. time for the walk of shame to begin.

8pm: fortunately, i wasn't the only one dressed up that night. in addition to my crew of blue-shirted locals, there was actually another male model rep'ing the very same soldier gear that evening. Alex, probably 10 years my junior, was cool as a cucumber…a real pro. he strutted his stuff like he'd been wearing that thing for years; and with that, i started to feed off his chiseled confidence and embraced the character i was set to play.
as we reached the doorstep of LKF, heads beginning to turn, eyeballs gazing, i held my broom hat high and marched alongside my new found friends. it was probably a good thing we kicked off as early as we did, not giving the patrons enough time to fuel themselves up yet with Spartan juice. after a few minutes, we quickly ducked into the first establishment on our list, ready to start the show.

830pm: the mission for the night was dead simple:
step 1 - look for people wearing blue (colours of American Express)
step 2 - approach guest and ask "i couldn't help notice you're wearing blue…?!"
step 3 - while still grinning like an idiot, ask patron if they have an American Express card
step 4 - if the answer to #3 is yes, give them a free drink ticket.
if the answer to #3 is no, decide whether they are a good soul or not, and give them a free drink ticket if it feels right.
the first interaction was a little awkward. i think i fumbled my lines a bit, something closer to "i couldn't help but notice i blue you...", or something like that. but very quickly, i genuinely started to have fun with it all. in the back room of the first bar, there was a crowd of 20 or so older folks, all there to celebrate a birthday of some sort. it just so happened that each and everyone of them was a loyal AmEx card carrying member. figuring it was a setup, i still quickly ran around the table, dishing out free sauce to seniors.
they hooted & they hollered. they probably thought it was perfect timing for the stripper to show up.

9pm: things started to really flow. we hit up the Hard Rock, one of the largest bars in the area, looking for blue in all the right places. we'd then scurry out into the street, amidst the flashing iPhones capturing this piece of Halloween hangover. people were legitimately excited to stop me, bypassing the 'why' and going straight for the 'can'…as in "can we take a photo with you?".
being the good character 'model' that i am, i was more than happy to oblige, even offering the fans the chance to hold my sword……
…
it was great. my team was super cool as well, treating me with the respect that an amateur 'model' deserves. during breaks, they would literally fan me down (not kidding) and rush to my side with an open bottle of water at the slightest sign of fatigue. i've been secretly craving this sort of attention my whole life.

10pm: that's a wrap. cross it off the list, i officially completed a paid gig as a 'model'. speaking of pay, thank god i have a real job. not only is the pay paltry, the payment terms are 60-days net. that's straight up offensive. if that's the way they're going to treat me, it may be time to start considering an agent.

in closing, thank you for all of those that believed in me. we did it!

unfortunately, a gladiator costume does not come with pockets, and as such, i wasn't able to carry my phone for pictures of the extravaganza. you'll just have to take my word for all of it.
short of a pic documenting the evening, i'm pleased to offer up something even better.
happy bday, Mum!

they pulled me back in

2011-11-01T18:56:00.001+08:00

there's an expression in the modeling biz that you "can't teach pretty".as a one-time amateur model, i firmly believe this to be true.although extremely tough, over the past few months, i have come to terms that my moment to glisten may have passed me by.
tanktops lay folded in the dresser.
model face showcased solely in the company of my own mirror.
life goes on and you resign yourself to simply being just another regular joe.
that is until the phone rings.

me - 'Hello?'
agency - 'Is this Rich?'
me - 'It is.'
agency - 'Would you be available for a casting tonight?'
me (heart racing) - '..I could be. What is it for?'
agency - 'You would need to dress in a costume….a woman's costume.'
me (still interested) - 'Excuse me? What type of costume?'
agency - 'A Roman's costume.'
me (somewhat relieved) - 'Where & when!?'

the passion still burns.

upon arrival at the modeling agency, i met with an agent named 'Coins'.
*note to self, name first daughter (or next cat) 'Coins'.
the casting process, as it should be, is broken down into small manageable model steps.

Step #1 - take a few candids
easy. before going through the rigors of wardrobe, the agency always wants to see if you freeze on camera. a couple of snaps and if you pass, it's on to the next step.

Step #2 - go Roman
grabbing hold of the underarmour and sandals, i retreated into the small bathroom to start the transformation. a white knee-length pullover, a leathery skirt type of garb and open-toes.
shit, maybe this is me crossing over to 'Richelle' after-all.
upon returning to the shoot area, i was relieved to see the rest of the gear laid out for me. wristlets, chest armor, sword, shield, and broom helmet.
not bad…to the point where i started planning my early Halloween costume if they'd let me borrow it.a few more shots on camera, being somewhat confused if i'm supposed to be an angry Roman or a sultry Roman….i went with a hybrid look.

Step #3 - the speech
the final component of the session required me to get in front of the vid cam to run some lines.ideally, this would have meant a tv or movie role.instead, the script details out a sales pitch, to be muttered to patrons in a local eatery.

surprise!!
turns out, the gig is for American Express, 'modeling' as a glorified Roman waiter & treating diners to a free glass of wine if they flash their AmEx.
whatever, it still counts.
the script, while very corporate, was also fairly hilarious in its broken English. having only looked at it briefly, i was inclined to freestyle it a little bit, but also knew the AmEx brass would want me to stick to the lines.
and so I began:

"Hello sir/madame. sorry to border your dining. We are from American Express card.Simply show your American card to us, you will receive a token to redeem a glass of red wine which totally FREE.Our promoters will drop down some general details to get us started."

there was also a problem with some math in the script, but i didn't want to break character….
it appears Romans don't do proper English or math.
and that was it.
they thanked me for my time and sent me on my way. no offense, but i've had the same bad taste in my mouth from previous castings, so there will be no kissing ass.
ok, maybe a little….(flash smile/wink).

a few days pass.
phone rings.
coffee is for closers.
you're looking at Hong Kong's next top Roman.

to be continued….

$5

2011-10-23T19:14:00.000+08:00

2 posts, 1 week...i must be feeling a little frisky.
first & foremost, big golden hawk shoutout to J9, an oldie but a goody.great to catch up after 6+ years, half way across the world.

second & second-most, a quick softball update:
Doghouse WIN, Doghouse WIN!
in a stunning turn of events, team Doghouse pulled out an impressive 8-4 victory on Saturday afternoon, finally getting their schneid-busting first win of the season. donning crisp new jerseys, the 'look good, play good' theory was in full effect.
my stat line: 1-3, with a double & a run scored

and now, a funny haircut tale.
this afternoon, after sending J9 on a train back to China, it was time to lose the shag.
after testing out a few barbers in the first few months here, i've now settled on my go-to establishment. there's nothing flashy about the place.
it's close & it's cheap, and ever since losing my modeling tour card, there's really no pressure on how the cut turns out.
the shop is very small, although there's enough room to accommodate 6 patrons. typically there are more employees than customers, as it's apparently used as more of a place to hangout, eat noodles and shoot the Cantonese shit than it is to "salon".
though, today was somewhat of an exception, as i scooped up the last free chair, right next to the lady wearing what i can only describe as some weird alien perm helmet.

my barber of choice is an older gentlemen and is strictly business.he doesn't ask many questions or offer up any pleasantries, given the obvious language barrier.
it's simply 2 questions - "short?" and "over-the-ears?"
to which I respond - "medium, and yes.", likely confusing the man.
fine. let's get down to cutting.
it's always a super quick transaction…i'd say 7 mins or so…in complete silence which suits me just fine.no wash, no blow, no product.just cut, pay and go.
today, that process broke down a little.
in previous sittings, i've received the exact same service for a very agreeable price of $40HKD, or $5 back home. today, upon presenting the fine proprietor with a hong kong benjamin, i was confused with his return of merely $50 change.

below is the dialogue that ensued, in my abbreviated 'talk-to-a-local' English -

Me: "$50? Not $40?"
Barber (insulted/sarcastic laugh): "No, $50."
Me: "Really?" pointing to sign on the glass door, that happens to be facing out, so it reads backwards…but still sure it says $40.
Barber (now pissed off, shaking head): "No, $50."

he then proceeded to walk towards me, grabbing my arm (as i remember it, at least), and escorted me outside of the premise to read another sign on the front window. indeed, he pointed out that the new 'taped-over' price is $50. fine.

to be honest, it wasn't the price that had me concerned, it was more the principal. i felt i might be getting gweilo pricing, but now, with his determined effort to prove his argument, i was resigned to concede and offered him a 唔該 (m̀hgòi), or simply "ok, thank you".
i do not believe he accepted.

i still hope to go back one day, however, i may be the only white-ghost that actually goes there…and let's be honest, you never forget a white ghost.

The sun is rising once again

2011-10-20T19:37:00.004+08:00

konnichiwa & arigato, my peeps….
these, by the way, were essentially the only two words i muttered in public during the week that was Japan.
like Hong Kong, Japan is indeed part of Asia…but that's about the only thing they have in common. think of it as a little more Europe, and a little less China. although communication in English is not so forthcoming, the people we did interact with were extremely courteous and friendly.
very civilized, very orderly. my kind of people.
case in point - our taxi ride to the hotel in Tokyo. our cab driver, an older gent, welcomes us to his land with a free pack of gum. a nice touch, not to mention the fresh breath.
and so, it began….

Tokyo: Beware - the Japanese vampire funboy

there's no denying the 'wow' factor that Tokyo presents. perhaps lessened slightly for a couple of kids from Hong Kong, but entirely clear as soon as we stepped out into the neon playground - that city has a beat. it is also massive. we get spoiled a little bit in our highly condensed world, where everything is 5 mins away via essentially free taxis. not the case in Tokyo, confirmed by the daily aches running through my arches. taxis are stupid expensive in Tokyo, so you're left to gaze at the city from underneath. the metro, a system of snakes & laddering all across the capital, handy to get where you need to go, but just not all that quick going down + across + up.
and so we rode & walked, & rode some more, hitting the spots on our consolidated list of must-sees. first thing i wanted to see, for whatever reason, was what i refer to as the 'times square' of Tokyo….or more accurately, Shibuya Crossing. you've all seen it…, a chaotic block of thousands of people crossing from one side of the street to the other. sounds fascinating doesn't it…, and so we went, and i can confirm the chaos. unlike the cool shots you may have seen from a movie, elevated above the street, when you're actually down amongst the masses, it's really not that sexy, you just gotta move.

this is just down the line from Kabukicho, the 'red-light' district. i know what you're thinking:
did i happen to stumble upon any undergarment vending machines…?

oh, that wasn't what you were thinking?
well, either way, i was unsuccessful.

not that i was considering myself to be a buyer, but more so an interest in uncovering the urban myth of whether people in Japan do in fact ante for panty. sadly, i can neither confirm or deny.
i can confirm that 'love hotels' do in fact exist. again, playing the role of less patron, more witness. from the outside, they don't seem all that different from a regular hotel, aside from the ability to 'rest' or 'stay'. the former is by the hour…for what i can only imagine is a power nap in-between walking your ass across the city.
amongst all of this, i didn't really have a problem with this part of town, that is, until the Japanese vampire funboys arrived. picture Lost Boys, only with subtitles, and cowboy boots. they came out from the darkness, every corner you turned, there they were. shuffling around in their boots, flipping their manes off the backs of their cool black leather, they huddled in groups handing out fliers to the innocent walking by. maybe it was the creepy factor, or perhaps the panic, but we actually did get lost in a sea of hair & rented love.

other highlights -

Tsujuki Fish Market - sushi, served fresh at 8am. i'll still choose pancakes, but when in rome i suppose…

Park Hyatt Hotel, 52nd floor - movie geeks will know this as the setting for about half of Lost in Translation, the epic classic of adultery & inappropriate friendship. Bill Murray, Suntory whiskey, piano bar…it's all there, and the view of the city is definitely worth the yen.

Hakone: cold feet for hot springs

the trip to Japan offered a fine balance of big city & little country. Hakone, about an hour south of Tokyo, is a little piece of green heaven and a stark contrast to the bustle we witnessed our first few days. the big thing about staying out this way is the 'tradition' it provides. forgo the chain hotel and stay at a ryokan Japanese inn. quaint doesn't really describe the setting of sliding doors and flatness. no chairs, instead, you get to sit on a pillow. no permanent bed either, it's folded up in the front closet. traditionally uncomfortable i have to admit, but very unique and glad we did it. the other very 'unique' feature of the ryokan is the hot springs, aka bath houses. not familiar with these? let me catch you up.

step 1 - throw on a kamono
step 2 - head down to the bath house
step 3 - disrobe
step 4 - crouch on a stool & wash self
step 5 - join the party in the tub

yes, the hot springs are a communal jam, where everyone's getting really friendly. i must admit, my first pass at bath time was a let down…i was the only dude in the place. lame.
second time through, success! another gentleman was keeping it warm for me, as i quickly slipped myself into the boil. was it awkward? perhaps a little bit…but in this case, it was elevated, given the fact he was a local, and thus not a lot of English happening. so, there we were. 2 guys, enjoying a bath side by side, unable to even share a clever 'boy, it's really hot in here…' quip. i'm pretty sure he snuck a peek.
finally, the last piece of tradition was what we ended up with on our plates that evening, and sadly, sushi does not make that list. very interesting dishes…most of which was a complete shot in the dark to I.D., but like camp, you either eat or go to bed hungry. so, we ate.
would i order it at a restaurant the next time i swing through Japan? no.
again, it's all part of the experience.
wrapping up the evening, we checked the cliche box, by watching Lost in Translation….

Kyoto: [fill in Accord-related joke later]

i must admit, Kyoto was the most surprising part of the entire trip. not knowing much about the place, i went in thinking it would be a poor man's Tokyo, but i'm here to tell you it has some serious game. it reminded me a lot of Brussels (or is it Bruges). a rich history, being the former capital of Japan, with hundreds of shrines popping up all over the landscape. mix in an amazing amount of small restaurants, bars, and shops tucked away on small cobbleston'esque roads, and you have an amazing little town. the big thing in the area of the city called Gion is the tendency to see the elusive Geisha running from client to client. misunderstood, there is still something that seems very taboo about the profession, although i am lead to believe it's fairly PG-13 these days. still, i was intrigued when out of the corner of a dark alley, we say the billowing white umbrella pop-up, and a woman in traditional garb making a jailbreak. the only piece of Japanese lore that didn't stumble across our paths would be the mighty sumo. the big boys, when not in a tourney, train at stables, mostly in Tokyo. something for next time. final bit to add, we met a local bar keep named Kenji-son in an Italian Bistro, an odd choice, but a good one. as we sipped on sake, exchanging broken English stories of life and adventure, he was kind enough to give us a few freebies courtesy of the house. finishing like we started, another local putting the 'free' in freedom.

so that's that. another Asian country done & dusted.
now we're really getting into the dregs….

as always, enjoy my non-Facebook album HERE

moneyballz

2011-10-06T21:23:00.005+08:00

rest in peace, Steve.
i'll keep this brief, as the tribute is a bit unintentional, but certainly necessary.
i can't begin to compare my experience with the man & brand that a life long Jobs/Mac groupie can. that said, from the days in Amsterdam with my 2nd-gen iPod to the MacBook Pro being used to scribe this in HK, my journey around the World continues to be enhanced in the company of i.
many people have shared their thoughts on the passing; his life, his legacy.
a friend had this sobering take -

Steve jobs actually had all the money in the world. Shows how valuable health is.” #rememberwhatsimportant

the rest of this post may seem trivial in light of this. yet so many of you have been waiting for days to hear about my softball debut. and there is your subtle segue.

one word can describe my take on the first game of the season - intense. these guys are definitely not your typical weekend warriors. grown men, in full baseball gear, staring me down, trying to get a feel whether this rook has what it takes. a little on edge, i got the feeling that i was still on tryout as i stepped up to the plate in the 1st.
batting second, i quickly proceeded to fly out to centre.
get those nerves out early, kid.
next appearance, considerably better, as i stroked a double into the gap. all in, 1 for 3 on the day, with a walk. our team fared just about as well, getting thrashed 15-3 when it was all said and done. no matter, we'll get 'em next time.
hands-in, boys.
'1-2-3, Doghouse!'
and of course, it wouldn't be baseball without a beer & a dog at the ballpark. play hard, eat hard.
a league website, including player stats, just so happens to exist. once i get into my groove, i may share with my fanclub.

in closing, Japan is on the horizon - and that's your guarantee that the next post will be more inspirational than me sporting cleats and throwing down a wiener. i will say this though - from what i've been told, Tokyo is a city like no other, and i'm excited to share my experience of this metropolis with you all. with that in mind, i decided to partake in a quick social experiment. a message was sent, to a select group of people, to inquire whether they had been to Tokyo. simple question - "have you been to Tokyo?" and if so, "could you share with me as a list of 'musts'". easy, i reckoned. however, like my batting average, my 'friends' whiffed on me - 3 for 15. 3 people, out of 15, actually responded.
shame....
12 of you just cost yourselves a postcard. it's called tough love.

Concussions, Crocs & Cebu dreams

2011-09-20T21:12:00.004+08:00

it has been a week to remember…..or forget, depends on how you look at it.
where to begin….oh yes, let's start with the first 'C'.

Part 1: Concussion at the summer company mixer
for those that know me, this should come as no surprise, but i tend to enjoy staff parties. what better way to blow off a little 9-5 steam than with a few cocktails, shared with co-workers exchanging witty office banter. no harm in that.
this year, the festivities took place poolside at the Macau Hard Rock hotel. on route to the venue, via shuttle bus with my local Chinese team, i was perhaps calling my shot when i eloquently suggested it would be rude of us, while at the Hard Rock, to not 'rock hard'. i took their puzzled silence as acceptance of this challenge and we proceeded on. as per these occasions, the beverages flowed freely from the time we arrived, and i indulged in moderation. as the night carried on, the crowd dwindled and a dip in the pool seemed timely, given i would never expose myself to large crowds. perhaps the fact that, post-swim, i decided to remain bare chested should have been an early flag of the evening that was to come. skip to the lounge bar downstairs, a little hip hop on the cut, courtesy of local DJ 'Snoop'.
"another drink for the road", I said, "then i must excuse myself, as it is a Monday night."
the next part should have been simple - men's room. open door. exit back to party. instead, it went - men's room, open door into head, bleed profusely, blame DJ when others arrive. of course, a few minutes later, i did take personal responsibility for my actions…can't play Snoop like that. was i concussed? perhaps mildly. embarrassed? a little bit. bleeding? yes, although i was assured stitches wouldn't be necessary, by a total of 0 qualified doctors. so there i was…a bloody, haggard mess. with no shoes.

Part 2: Croc Rock
let's call that possible concussion back into question, given 48-hours later, I ended up buying my first pair of Crocs. the horror.....
how long until the fanny pack, minivan, and semi-detach in the burbs?
It's over….
now, to my credit, these are Croc flip-flops, not the 'other' famous shoe in the line. this makes it a little better, but the truth is, i walked into the store with no shame in my game, gazing at the rainbow palette of tool totes that hung in front of me.
i was compelled to leap into this situation for 2 reasons:
#1 - a trip to Cebu (Philippines) 2 days later
&
#2 - i lost my previous pair at the aforementioned summer party, after 'rocking hard' (hence the no shoes).
i have to say though…they are pretty damn comfortable.
@sweetlegs65 i hear ya, bro. keep on keepin' on.

bring on the beach.

Part 3: Cebu next Tuesday
Cebu is 1 of over 7,000 islands in the Philippines, all without a salad dressing to lay claim to. this sad fact aside, it's a very warm & pleasant place, in climate and in culture. typical of our recent trips, this was a quick 4-nighter jaunt, with the majority of the time spent parked on a beach chair, working on my million HKD tan. we made some time for a quick snorkel trip (no underwater camera = no pictures of fish), along with a dinner outside the cozy confines of the Shangri-La, where we dined on crispy pata and washed it down with a cold San Miguel Light. good times. the trip came to an end this afternoon, tastefully serenaded by a local Filipino band at the boarding gate, prior to flying back to the Kong.
pictures for those interested are here.

stay tuned, we go Japanese in 3-weeks.

Drafted

2011-09-04T22:33:00.004+08:00

i'm old. i didn't foresee this admission coming so easily at the ripe age of 33, but there you have it. yes, it's true that a co-worker recently feigned surprise at this number, thinking i was closer to 31 (i credit this to a dedicated moisturizing regimen).

unfortunately, you can't moisturize a body that aches through the depths of every single muscle.
every inch of me is sore.
every time i get up to move around, i am sore.
i literally just sneezed, causing sheer agony.

what pains me even more is how I ended up this way.
of all things hardcore, can you believe this is a result of softball?
ironically pathetic, no?
now, to my credit, this wasn't just your average pick-up beer league kind of game. this was a proper tryout to join the softball league out here in Hong Kong.

yes, a tryout, and no, i'm not kidding.

the 'league' as we'll call it is made up of a bunch of guys, mostly US expats, all craving a little piece of Americana in Asia. enter the timeless game of softball…and trust me, they take the league damn seriously.
quickly recognizing this upon my arrival to the field, i knew i had to prove that Canucks can ball, soft, as well.
game on.

you may not take me as a super competitive guy, but i am, if for no reason other than a means to balance out skill deficiency. so with that in mind, i hustled my butt off to get under every fly ball. i got in front of the screaming liners. when i got to the plate, i made decent contact.
shit, i even knocked a little homerun jack.
and shit, i even struckout once, jack.

when the rubber turf pellets settled, i'd spent 3-hours in a softball gauntlet under the hot burning asian sun, with the goal of having my name called during this year's draft.
yeah, i said it. a draft. for any fantasy sports nerd like myself, this is a pretty cool concept. what's even better is that even if you get drafted in this league, you are still not guaranteed a roster spot. none of this 'everyone who shows up gets to play' crap. you either earn your playing time or you chew seeds on the bench.

so now i wait for the ~~call~~ email to see where i've been drafted, and gear up for the season.
things to do before said season:
1. replace golf glove with proper batting glove
2. find a drug store that carries A535
3. watch mr. baseball for inspiration
4. mention the latest freedomite, ~~Kelly~~ Kellie in this blog.

chicks dig the softball.

Maid in Hong Kong

2011-08-20T13:52:00.006+08:00

i know what you're thinking, is it true???
is JLo getting her groove back by starring in a sequel to her 2002 pos movie, Maid in Manhattan?
the answer, of course, is god no.
simply put, we live in Hong Kong, and we now have a maid.
actually, the politically correct title is 'helper'.
we have a 'helper'.
a full-time, live-in, cooks us dinner, folds my underwear, 'helper'.
it still seems very odd, but yet very awesome at the same time.

prior to the move west (or is it east?) 8-months ago, we were given a floor plan to our soon-to-be new apartment. we were surprised how spacious it appeared on paper, especially coming from a single bedroom loft. most of the layout made sense, except for a little space at the backend of the unit. investigating further, we soon realized that this area was in fact the servant's quarters. an archaic idea for most of us libertarians, but in reality something that's fairly common over in this part of the world, especially in an expat compound. never did we dream that we'd actually use if for anything but storing my hockey equipment & mountain bike (total usage of both to date = zero).

let's be honest, when we first moved here, i was the 'helper'. fortunately, i was also treated well, and was allowed to sleep in the main bedroom. things were working out just fine.

we all know what happens next though, don't we....
someone put his big boy pants on and got himself a job. and how!
between AA & i, our schedules had us out the door before 8am and usually not back until after 8pm. we were burning the chicken finger at both ends….and working a ton too. after a few weeks of the inconvenient reality of a two-income household, along with the reassurance that i had properly acclimatized myself back into Jobland and was there to stay, we decided something had to be done.

enter Jackée, our 'helper'. she 'helps' take care of the place, keeps us eating well, and even keeps our little furball company during the day. i don't even see her as a 'helper', she's more our third roommate, with a little extra share of the chores. in all seriousness, she is great, and I think if anything, we are being very Canadian with our requests:

"If you don't mind, could you maybe, when you have time, if not too much trouble, make me some flapjacks?"

Hong Kong is a very different place. it's a densely populated bubble in Asia, where every expat belongs to a country club, taxis are taken for pocket change, air conditioning is life, and helpers move into your home to take good care of you. it's a phase for us, it won't last forever, so for now, please don't judge as we embrace the culturally diversities brought upon us. Don't hate the (former) helper….

Love Turns 40

2011-08-09T19:34:00.003+08:00

Sunday marked a very special moment for my parents, as they celebrated 40 years of holy matrimony.
40 years!?
Perhaps best to assume they were young teens when they got married, and leave it at that.
Either way, a truly remarkable and amazing feat.

Their story unfolds like this -

They met each other for the first time on a boat.
Sounds like the plot from a romcom, but it's true.
It was 1967, and both were emigrating from the UK for frostier pastures in Canada.
To this day, my Dad still questions why he didn't choose to fly instead….joking of course.
So there they met, very cordial, very pleasant. They dined together, as a larger group, giving each other a little space, and spent the rest of the time at sea….reading, I suppose.
After arriving into Montreal, they went their own way to Toronto - Mum was starting a nursing position at Toronto General Hospital and Dad a sales job lined up before he left the UK.

Had it been fate that brought them to this land on the same vessel?
Yes, but seems fate needed just a little more time to develop.

They quickly started to adjust individually to Canadian living, enjoying the finer things the country had to offer, like Leaf Stanley Cup parades & centennial festivities - just your average annual events in TO.
Within three months they crossed paths once again. Where this actually happened, I'm not so sure….but the important thing is that it happened. All of a sudden, Toronto became that much more fun, as the pair became really close friends.
As the 60's wound down, the relationship picked up. One night, just after they'd cleaned up the fondue set and wiped down the mahogany, a funny thing happened. There was a look. A different look, like none before it. A sudden move lead to an embrace, an embrace leading to a kiss.
And that was it - the best way to end a perfectly good friendship.

A few years later, on a warm Welsh summer day in August, in the company of their families, friends and the holy spirit, Michael took Margaret, and in rightful turn, Margaret took Michael. The first day, of what has now turned to many, to be spent as husband and wife.
Skip a few years ahead (right past those honeymoon details), and along came a little bundle of joy, followed 3 years later by another little wonder.
2 was now 4, and family was formed.

From one coast to another, they would travel.
From one season to another, they would grow.
From one year to another, they would come, and,
From one year to another they would go.
But through all of it, the thick and thin, the good and the bad, there they were….together.
Just as strong as those first days in a foreign land, an inspiration to what love is all about.
It's with utmost pride and admiration that I congratulate you on this significant milestone.

Happy 40th, M&D.
Keep Making Magic.

i'm still standing

2011-07-17T15:59:00.003+08:00

i know that's hard to believe, Freedomites, but i'm still here for you…even if you jest at the sheer mention of what 'pardyallthetime' even means anymore?
don't worry, i've heard them all -
'hardlyanytime', 'damnnearpassedhisprime', 'didntcaremuchforhisryhmes'....and so on.

do i blame the job for my lack of life sharing and general disappearing act? yes.
don't get me wrong, i understand we're all busy.
i'm not thinking i'm special simply because i have a job that has me out before 8 and back in after 9. i get it. i signed up for it, i'm a working stiff - plain and simple.

some nights i lay awake in bed, wondering if it might be best to just end the blogging for you, the fans. thinking about the constant checking of your feeds only to be disappointed, the 'toilet-read' that was and is now just 'toilet', the hope for some sign of "you've got Freedom 32' ringing out, and yet, it never comes.

…until now. and with this, the hope that the updates start to pick up again.
it feels like we've missed a lot since i last checked in.
about 30 ferry trip to/from Macau, 10 passport pages of stamps, 3 offices, and even some stuff that has nothing to do with work - friends from Vancouver here for a visit, a trip to Phuket, a Typhoon measuring 3/8 and probably a few little funny anecdotes that i normally would have shared but simply couldn't.

i've been sitting on blog post #99 for over a month now…thinking 'will I ever get to 100?'. well congratulations Mr. Hong Kong, this is your moment - #100.
but it's not about me, it's about you…those who have supported & encouraged. it's your numbers that i care more about….

40 - years of marriage for M&D in August
10 - years of wed for bro & sis'n'law
2 - jobs for Mags (for now)
1 - waterbug for Mabes & Leeroy (soon)
.5 - for the near miss, Mr. Chris

i'm still standing, thanks to you all.
and so, i leave you with this, a mere token of my appreciation.

Hotseat in the Frontseat

2011-06-24T09:44:00.003+08:00

where is the craziest place you've ever…, you know…., had interview?
1 month in, working in Hong Kong continues to amaze me at times.
case in point - I believe my boss and I inadvertently created Asia's hottest new reality game show - 'Hotseat in the Frontseat'.

here's how it works:
first, we meet Mario, a potential new hire, in a remote location in Hong Kong.
after shaking hands, we immediately explain that we have another meeting starting in 30 mins across town.
as a result, we flag a taxi, new recruit Mario in the front seat, management in the back, and Hotseat in the Frontseat begins.

the meter's running, the sweat is dripping, the questions are flying.
does Mario have what it takes to impress the brass before the taxi pulls up to curb? it's close…, but a last second internet buzz word proves to be the difference maker. round 1 over.

bonus round!
the candidate gets invited to continue his grill over some grill, a quick set lunch…
be conservative with your order, Mario!.
chew, question, chew, blackberry.
this could go either way.

if he doesn't make the cut, we thank Mario for his time and look up for a second before ducking down into the blackberry.
however, if he's made it, we thank him for his time, ask him to go to the ferry to purchase Macau-crossing tickets for us, before ducking down into the blackberry.
you could cut this tension with a butter knife…which just so happens to be in front of me, with a basket of finely baked breads.
deliciously delirious, Hotseat in the Frontseat. catch it.

give me 4 days, i'll give you 4 countries

2011-05-26T22:50:00.004+08:00

....and we're back. it's amazing what not sitting on a couch can do to a blog. sadly, my writing is going to take a bit of a beating in the short-term.
here's why -
a certain retiree got pulled back into active service. yes, the unthinkable has happened - i have a new job. i'll keep the details vague, but you're virtually looking at the new digital marketing director for a small up & coming firm in Macau.
*note - titles are larger than they may career

let's catch up on the rest.
spent last weekend in Singapore with double A. we were very impressed with the city/country as a whole. prior to arrival, we had been warned that the city/country was nothing more than a 'cleaner version of HK'. we disagree. Singapore was a breathe of fresh air (sorry it just came out), with its tree-lined streets, hyper modern infrastructure, mixed with just a dash of colonial architecture. and hot….very hot. not humid, like HK, just hot. we made good use of the pool. i am told though that the allure of the place perhaps diminishes after you stay a while. for now, i'm left with a very pleasant taste in my mouth, likely from the multiple Singapore Slings consumed. btw - if you go to the famous Long Bar for said Sling, expect to pay $25 CAD for the pleasure. it's an expensive city, but worth it in my humble opinion.
*added value item - the free candy as you walk through immigration at the airport.

this is where the fun begins.
Monday evening, the dynamic traveling duo parted ways at the airport. you see, my first assignment as part of the new gig was to attend a conference in Shanghai - the 'real deal' China, folks. as such, i flew directly from the Pore, a 5-hour jaunt, and arrived into Padong Airport around 11pm. customs was a breeze, no iron-clad communism poking and prodding me every step of the way. in fact, the customs officer couldn't have been more pleasant and i even considered using the 'rate me' interface that all entry booths feature. picked up my bag, scurried through the 'friendly' late night crowd at arrivals and jumped into a taxi.

'where to, my man?'
'the Intercontinental, good sir….and step on it, will you?'
'right away, friend.'

unfortunately, that's dialogue you'd be more likely to find in the classic comedy Shanghai Noon, and not my experience at all. no, my best approach was to point at the name of the hotel in an email i had on my phone….as English was not going to happen…not even a little.
the gentlemen seemed agreeable to my passive explanation of the directions, and we were off. fun fact about taxis in Shanghai - the driver is sat in a fiberglass cocoon-like structure, no doubt for his own personal safety. no apologies required to the passengers who feel like they've been arrested. it took about 40-minutes to reach the hotel (and dude was driving FAST). i'll be honest, i was getting a little concerned given i thought it was closer to half that to my destination. i even tried to ask the driver if we were 'close'…to which he responded 'close?' and laughed with hysteric non-understanding. ultimately, all was fine and we made it. no tip.

upon check-in, my company (eager to impress), had left me a couple of goodies to finish up the day with a happy-ending - a new MacBook Pro and a Blackberry Bold. i like these guys already. conference kicked off the next morning, a somewhat lackluster experience - a sentiment shared by many. i did quite enjoy the part where i pretended to be sitting in on a UN junket, given the majority of the speakers were dropping Mandarin, requiring yours truly to rock a translation headset. pretty cool, albeit most of the good bits from the presentations were somewhat lost in translation i fear.
managed to sneak out that night with some colleagues for a dinner at a very cool downtown bar/restaurant and walked around the river-side boardwalk known as the 'Bund'.

day 2 was a snore, and the boss made the call to jet out early. back to HK, where i was looking forward to settle down for a bit. nope, there's work to be done. woke up the next morning (which so happens to be today) and jumped on a ferry for Macau. for those keeping count, that makes 4 countries - Singapore, China, HK, Macau. my passport is starting to get some major international cred.

rollin' my dice in Macau

2011-05-14T15:41:00.007+08:00

it has been an interesting last couple of days for the Freedom - a very innocent online encounter set off a chain reaction of events that lead to me attending a private party on the roof of the Grand Hyatt in Macau. let's rewind.

on Wed, i was 'Linkedin' to a local headhunter in HK. typically i'm not one to frequent the networking site, yet i was more than happy to accept the invitation of someone who could actually do something for me (unlike most people who simply treat it like Facebook with business cards). shortly after the virtual introduction, we met in-person and i was fairly impressed with their specialization in the digital marketing space. after a productive chat, i thanked them for their time and hoped i would hear from them in the near future.

24 hours 'near' enough? literally within a day, the hunter emailed to let me know they had already found a potential opportunity for me and asked if they could set-up a meeting for Friday. i checked my calendar (don't laugh), and told them to make it happen. turns out this company is HQ'd in Macau, with an office in both HK & mainland China, but requested for me to come to Macau to meet with their directors. it's only an hour ferry from home and they were covering the cost of transportation....basically a win-win for me as i had yet to visit the island in my travels. for those unfamiliar with Macau, it's essentially the Las Vegas of Asia and a former Portuguese colony.

time to put my interview game-face on. as per usual, i do some pre-meeting research on the company, relate my experiences to their core-service offering, and, reluctantly, shave my trademark stubble down to enhance professionalism. done. only thing left is to dust off the suit and i'm out the door.
check that.
on second look, it appears that i'll actually need to vacuum off my suit. apparently, since last wearing the styles, a certain pussycat has left a little fur love from top to bottom. of course, i could never stay mad at my little hairy baby....and after a quick clean-up, i'm good to go.

the ferry terminal for Macau is only a few transit stops away, and the company was nice enough to book me a 'super-class' ticket. this doesn't amount to much, aside from getting served a very simple snack consisting of a sandwich, juice, and some mystery jelly in a plastic container upon boarding, but i'm certainly not complaining. sadly, the day is fairly overcast so there's not much to see as we approach 'Vegas island', but i'm excited to see what this place has to offer. upon arrival, i'm met by someone from the company and quickly whisked away to their office.

i met with Director #1, and i can already tell that this isn't your typical interview. he begins by telling me about his extremely diverse background, a little about the company, and a lot about the changes he wants to make to it. we then take a tour around, and i'm essentially introduced to almost everyone in the place, which covers four floors. i am beginning to feel more like a boss and less like a recruit. my meetings continue with other various senior staff, where again it's less about me and more about the company roadmap and how i can already start to help....honestly, the strangest interview i've ever had, which is about to get stranger.

after chatting for 3ish hours, it's now 6pm. i mention this due to the fact that my return ferry ticket had been booked for 6. "no worries", they say, "we'll book you another one". apparently it's a busy night getting off the island, as the earliest they can get me out is 9pm. this is further complicated by the fact that my main director contacts also have a private black tie dinner they need to attend starting at 7:30pm. it's discussed, and the guys decide that they'll give me a tour of the island, on route to their dinner, and we'll figure out the rest as we go. cool, i got nowhere to be.

the tour is actually quite appreciated; a sort of inside look into the history & development of the island. it reminds me of what it would have been like to drive around the desert in Nevada before they broke ground on the Flamingo. i'm amazed by some of the properties and the sheer size of them, including a place called 'Galaxy' which is set to open this weekend. as we move around, it's clear that Macau is going to blow Vegas out of the water...literally, estimated to eventually be 10-times the size of it. for anyone that's been to LV, the thought of that is utter insanity. we finish our tour by checking out the Venetian floor, and make our way over to their gala event at the Grand Hyatt, which turns out to be an unveiling of a new high-end alcohol beverage. problem is, we still got time until my ferry departs, and my name isn't on the guest list. once again, i feel more like a 5-year partner than a 1st day candidate, as they tell me just to follow them up to the roof.

the event is fairly cool, nothing super lavish or blinged out, but i can tell there are some decent sized players in attendance. i only have about an hour to kill, but that doesn't alleviate some final moments of awkwardness. the guys start introducing me to some of the people in attendance, to which these party-goers naturally ask - "and who are you?".
i quickly wise up and casually/safely offer that "i'm with them". oh, and of course i'm fresh out of business cards. finally, the time comes for me to jet off...somewhat upset that i'll miss out on the first taste of the new booze. we shake hands, thus marking the official end of the 'interview', nearly 6 hours after it began.

back on the ferry towards home, only this time with a plate of rice & chicken feet? in front of me, and i start to wonder how a potential next interview could be topped by this one...? i'm going to go with taking the company Maserati for a spin, saying a few words at a shareholder meeting, and perhaps giving away one of their daughters at her wedding.....sounds reasonable, no?
Only in Macau, folks.

shorty/wannabe a thug

2011-05-11T19:14:00.009+08:00

we're going with a very literal title for this one, in that it's going to be a short post. the thug part, well, we'll get to that.

the Spring months in Hong Kong are ripe with long weekends, filled with random holidays such as 'Buddha's Birthday'. as a result, i have been able to spend more & more QT with dubA, though the weather continues to tease us; while it's still sweltering with humidity on a daily basis, the mornings tend to start off overcast which limits our eagerness to venture off to a day spent on a far away beach. i know, tough life we lead.

as such, a planned adventure to a distant piece of sand on Saturday instead turned into 'let's go to Ocean Park!' Ocean Park is perhaps the Hong Kong equivalent to Niagara Falls' Marineland - a place that in theory sounds awesome, but ultimately is a bit fishy. i'm not sure what it says about the land i live in that this is again one of those 'must-see' attractions, but hey, they have pandas. it's a quick 20-minute bus ride down the road from us, followed by a gondola up the side of a mountain once you get there....kudos to the urban planner who decided it was a good idea to pop-up an amusement park on the peak.

taking a step back for a sec, Hong Kong (in general) is very organized. everything is well sign-posted, the MTR is ultra modern, and the city is set-up in such a way that you can get around without ever going outside, if you so choose. [begin rant] unfortunately this order does not transcend to the majority of its inhabitants. rules are tossed out the window when foot traffic is involved. try getting anywhere on the streets in the heart of Wanchai. i guarantee it will make you angry. it is chaos - plain and simple, as you battle your way through multiple lanes of pedestrians walking in both directions, not to mention the cars, bikes, and trolleys. even once you've entered an MTR station, there's a painted area with arrows showing you where you should stand to board a train vs. the area where riders wishing to get off are meant to pass. that doesn't seem to matter to a lot of people, as they march right down the middle and expect passengers to climb over top of them [end of rant]

now, back to that part about the thug. we had to queue for the gondola up the mountain from the base of the park, a not-so-awesome 45min wait, but what are you going to do?
how about 'budding' in line?.
3 older ladies (likely from the mainland) slowly but surely slithered there way from somewhere in the back to where we were in line. at first, we assumed that these 'ladies' were with the party in front of us. when said party decided to speak in an aggressive tone to the 'ladies', we realized that they were simply cheating the line, yet continued to remain in front of us. i was more than a little steamed, but given the obvious language barrier we just had to take it for what it was. there's only a few things they make me really pissy, and line budding is one of them. alas we sauntered on, inching closer to our sky carriage when all of a sudden, i get a rub to the right of me, and not the pleasant variety. i didn't even get a good look at the guy, but i could sense and literally feel him trying to get past us from our rear. without really thinking, i give the dude an elbow, box him out, and turn around to get in his face and say "what the hell do you think you're doing??!" i then realize the gentleman is likely in his late 60's, accompanying three little kids,who are no doubt out on a weekend of fun with grandpa. Aline laughed, i turned back to face the front and continue to limp along.
ok, so maybe not thuggish ruggish behaviour, but certainly a bit of a pattern forms when people do me wrong.

the rest of the day was just peachy, with little to no confrontation. my fave ride without a doubt was a 'drop-zone'esque thrill, that takes you up about 30 floors then drops you like a disappointed modeling agency. even better, the name of the ride: "The Abyss - Turbo Drop". even better still, the tagline for the ride below. cute that they added a sea lion to make it appeal to children.

hello, Hong Kong!

2011-05-06T17:23:00.009+08:00

i had a long overdue chat with my bro, Nark, this week, catching up on the happenings of Hong Kong vs. Oakville. i told him that it was dripping humidity here, and mostly, my days still consisted of GTL & tuna sandwiches. he told me they were finishing up the final pieces of their powder room remodeling (or just simply 'bathroom', for those who don't partake in the powdery stuff).

the conversation then shifted back to the topic of 'me' and how I should take advantage of all this available time on my hands to truly 'master' something.
i.e. to start something, from scratch perhaps, and work at it until i reach a yet to be determined goal.
alright, i'm game....whatya got?

Nark's first suggestion: training for a marathon.
not a bad option straight out of the gates. it's essentially free, and relies more or less solely on my two feet and a heartbeat. unfortunately, i worry that the latter would give out on me well before i ever hit that 26th mile, and for that reason, next...

my follow-up idea was to train for a decathlon. figure it's the perfect sport for a generalist like me. only problem being that i'm missing a pole vault pit...and a javelin...and many other key elements.

what about a language?
this is something that Aline has been bugging me about as well. there's no doubt that learning Cantonese or Mandarin would help me understand this new home of mine and would look good on the CV.
my concerns - i can make sense of something like French or Spanish, but we're now talking about a script-based alphabet. it's really like a big memory game, flipping over symbols in my head to read a simple street sign.
i also fear that by the time i figure it all out, we likely won't be living in Asia (or Richmond) for it to have much practical use.
next.

cooking?
hmm...i am interested in adding more than stir-fry's & fajitas to our weekly menu.
though, i don't think i could stand the comparisons between my experience in the kitchen to that painfully annoying Amy Adams, and her role as that Julie chick....or was it Julia...?
been done. next.

modeling?
ha. although, i do give my agency credit, they are certainly persistent with the casting calls. i just had another 'potential' gig floated my way, this time for jeans. think i'll need to channel a little Brett Favre for this one, wrist watch and all. as always, i will keep you posted, but let's be honest, looks are not really something i can 'master'. just like Gaga, i was born this way.
next.

we could have kept going for hours on this, but we hung up our Skype call agreeing to put my future escapades on hold. however, later that same day, i read a local CNNGo article that has given me an itch that i think needs to be scratched.....
i wanna be a star! well, to be more specific, i want to try to write some material for an open-mic routine. although, even thinking about going through with it scares the hell outta me. it's one thing to give a toast at a wedding, in front of friends/family, but another thing to come up with 'bits' for an audience of strangers, who are probably drunk and likely funnier than i am. and it's true, i can't really do much about the funny part, but i can certainly try to take the edge off myself a little with some pre-show binge drinking.

and so i write....
nothing all that novel about me writing...but with this, I have a clear focus of making people laugh. i really don't have any idea how my blog posts are received, and for me to get up on stage and perform more or less my blog material will now offer me some real-time insight into my ramblings.

and so i write....
but first, i need to set a goal. sadly i think it'll be atleast a month or so to workout some decent material for a 5-minute set. let's say, on the record, that before Freedom 32 turns Freedom 33 in July, i will get up on stage.
in more immediate baby-step terms, i'm also going to build up my confidence at a poetry-reading night down at a local bar. i figure i already have 2 poems in the can, and can bang one or two more out pretty quick (plus there's a free drink for every poet). i'll even commit to debuting these before the month is out. i figure the poetry crowd should go a little easier on me, should i bomb, with heckles coming back at me like sweet limericks on a breezy summer day.
you've been a terrific audience, drive safely.

wet & wild weekend

2011-05-03T15:26:00.004+08:00

yes, i may be all the way over here in Hong Kong, but that didn't prevent me from following along with everyone else on this turbulent long weekend of highs and lows. where do i even begin?

i suppose the emotional roller coaster tipped off with the royale wedding of Prince Will.i.am to the lovely HRH Kate (she's still not a Princess in my books). i may lose my British citizenship by confessing that i really had no interest in any of it. was it magical? sure, i suppose....just not really my thing. sorry to be such a disappointment to you both, mother & father.

next, how bout that Obama, flat out killing it this weekend! first with his roasting of all things Trump & red state at the White House correspondents' dinner (it's nearly 20-minutes but definitely worth a view). he then proceeded to get comfy in his favourite chair, popped some corn, and was treated to a little video on demand presentation of Get Osama. do i think the World is better off without the man around? definitely. did news of his death warrant a national street party, reminiscent of (fill in the sports team) winning the (fill in the big game)? probably not.

finally, some content most relevant to the Canadian Freedom contingent, Election 2011 is now in the books. given my change of address and resident status, i was unable to partake in the vote and missed out on a lot of the usual campaignisms that were tossed around this go. as the snow settles, it appears that things couldn't have gone any better for the Conservatives, moving from a minority government to a majority government in an election they really didn't want (oops, Ignatieff). as well, the NDP party have to feel good about where they netted out, yet the question remains as to whether they'll be able to make an impact given the aforementioned straight sets victory? let's hope so.

how was my weekend on a personal level? let's be honest, there's very little i could do or say to hope to engage you all in some witty Freedom banter. i will try though, with a simple dialogue between myself and Aline. a little preface to set the scene -

Aline and Freedom 32 walk into their apartment after a lovely brunch & flower market excursion. Upon opening the front door, the two look at each other with surprise and trepidation.

AA: "Oh my god! I think we've been robbed!"
F32: "I don't know.....you think?"
AA: "Our rug is gone, and the air conditioning is cranked....it wasn't even on when we left."
F32: "Hmmm...yes, true, but our TV, laptop and everything else of any value appears to be untouched..."
AA: "What about the rug!!?"
F32: "Well, i'm not quite sure yet, but wasn't it nice of the robber to cool down the place for us?"

to be fair, i was also confused as to what the hell was going on. turns out that it was not a case of theft...simply a case of tomfoolery. the management of our building would soon alert us that "someone" had turned on the emergency fire hose in our hallway, essentially creating an indoor water slide throughout our entire apartment. fortunately, they got to it fairly quickly, and were able to soak up much of the water. the lone casualty appears to have been our living room rug, found to be rolled up in the bathtub similar in appearance to how i would imagine you'd try to hide a dead body. admittedly, i didn't immediately consider how/where Romo netted out during this ordeal but was pleased to see him more or less undisturbed from his afternoon nap in our bedroom closet.

....and Freedom reigns.

the Bali files, episode 1: locked in the trunk of a 5star

2011-04-27T17:25:00.011+08:00

greetings all, it is I, your long forgotten virtual friend.
my apologies, the cpu didn't actually make the journey with me to Bali, and thus, the update has been sitting with me for some days now.
Bali was superb, thanks for asking.
we had a great time there, albeit a very quick 3 day/4 night stay.
i will try to keep it brief, no need for one of those long, mass/spam emails where i provide you with every little detail, down to the hour of what we got up to. a daily recant ought to do i reckon.

Friday -
good Friday......, try great Friday, as we set off on our trip to Indonesia, flying via Singapore with, ironically enough, Singapore Airlines (a good overall airline experience). total of 7ish hours of travel time, numbed a little by the Fighter (the movie) and Street Fighter (the game). also had one of those 'world is a small place' moments upon chatting with a guy in the arrival customs line to discover that he not only grew up in my hometown of Oakville, but actually went to same high school as i did, 15 years my WOSS senior. isn't that something.

Saturday -
our first chance to see the resort in daylight, and it didn't disappoint. dare i say, the St. Regis is perhaps the nicest place we've stayed at. more than enough room in our chambre, complete with tasteful decor and nice touches including a full soaker tub along with a persistently filled plate of fruit. oh, and they also had a breakfast that just wouldn't quit. since our plan was more euro than all-in, we certainly made the most of this each and every morning. a quick rundown - smoothies, fresh juices, eggs benny, french toast croissants....money. bring on the beach.

Sunday -
lazy beach day, which was more or less the theme of our holiday. the Regis has a very nice little set-up, with padded loungers & cabanas. weather was hot, which required an hourly dip on average. if there was one complaint, it would be that the ocean wasn't fit for swimming. a ton of garbage was constantly washing in, making it an easy decision to opt for the pool. ok, let's say there were 2 complaints. the other being that the resort was extremely overpriced for pretty much everything. drinks for $20, meals for $50....ricoculous.

Monday -
more of the same really. explored the fairly intricate lazy river system that flows throughout the grounds, and made plans to leave the resort that evening for another adjacent beach town, the highlights of such included:
*one of us getting locked in the suite's bathroom, requiring housekeeping to essentially break the door down.
*embarking on a 10km taxi drive to dinner, hitting a traffic jam, resulting in a 1.5 hour ride.
*enjoying the driving habits of the Balinese people, who turned 2 narrow lanes into 5 very messy streams of scooters, cars, and buses.

sadly, our trip was over as of mid-morning on Tuesday.
all things considered, definitely a great beach destination & top-notch accommodation. it does beg the question though of where it may fit into the Freedom's top-10 beach vacations of all-time...?
and so, here it is, the *unofficial list* (not verified with Aline):

1. Zanzibar (Tanzania) - powder white sand and literally isolated from the rest of the World
2. Ko Phan Ngan (Thailand) - hut on the beach type of set-up, where you can roll out of bed into the Gulf.
3. Naxos (Greece) - unlike some of the other popular Greek islands, this place features amazingly desolate & clothing-optional beaches reached via scooter. add a Mythos & Gyros to taste.
4. Cancun (Mexico) - say what you will about this underaged drinking, booty-shaking habitat...it still has one of the nicest stretches of beach you'll find. and did i mention the booty-shaking?
5. Maui (Hawaii) - who doesn't dream of checking out this un-continental piece of the US pie. extra points for anyone who can sneak their way onto a better hotel's beach, i.e. the Four Seasons.
6. Bali (Indonesia) - this one is fresh in the mind, and so I need to refer to it fondly. no question a great beach, however, this one makes the list based on the resort.
7. Sardinia (Italy) - this is a very random destination, that we ended up at based on an apartment swap. we blew up an oven and crashed a car....and thus i can't really remember if the beach was nice....i think it was.
8. White House (Jamaica) - add a dash of Sandals with a little Team Morgan and you get a family vacation to remember. i even have the t-shirt to prove it.
9. Ha Long Bay (Vietnam) - hundreds of little mountain tips popping out from the ocean, offering many a secluded beach. i may or may not have stripped down on one of these seclusions.
10. Tofino (BC) - no way i can leave Canada off this list. pain in the butt to get to, but one of the great white north's natural strips of beauty. bring a wetsuit.

full trip pics are here.

horse track suits

2011-04-21T16:10:00.007+08:00

last night, i was finally able to cross-off another one of the must-see places in Hong Kong - the Happy Valley Racetrack. a cool venue that dates back to 1850ish, it makes a lot of the HK tourist lists of things you ought to check out while in the city. it just so happens that we look down on the track from our building, so it was really an overdue visit. good times had by all, as we were also celebrating l'anniversaire du Monsieur Laurent. a buffet dinner paired with bottomless glasses of San Miguel and we were off. of course, a trip to the ponies isn't complete without a few bets. thank god i'm lucky in love, because i could very well be the World's worst gambler, going 0 for 6 on my studs throughout the course of the evening. to add insult to injury, i actually cheered on the #2 horse from start to end in the 6th race, celebrating his 'place' finish, only to later realize that i'd actually wagered on the #3 horse (who it just so happens finished last).
loser, loser, fill the booze, sir

as with many a social gathering, there were a few Freedom Chasers in the mix, intrigued as to what i would/wouldn't do for the sake of the blog. the conversation then took an odd diversion to the topic of personal grooming, and whether or not i had the minerals to go for a wax....specifically the minerals & crackerjack. perhaps it was the San Miguel talking, however, my greatest concern wasn't so much the pain or the emasculation factor, but more the question of "how much is this gonna cost me?" we all had a good laugh (at my expense) and closed out the evening with some x's & o's.

i'm guessing the idea must have stuck in my sub conscience, as i can vividly remember dreaming (nightmaring) about taking the plunge into the subculture of men's spa treatments. i kid you not, i can still recall the surge of virtual pain i felt as the epilation tore through my entire soul. i woke up with a startle and a very subtle pat-down just to be sure it had not already transpired. over my morning granola & yogurt (bikini-ready breakfast of champions), i must admit i started to have second thoughts about actually going through with this. not so much for myself, but all of you out there. i'm not sure if it's the type of content that you're craving from this bi-weekly raghag. or maybe some of you have a deep down interest in seeing me take on a little pain...? what say you, people, care to make me your own personal voodoo doll? the decision is all yours.

for today, at least, i traded in the fear factor for an eggs benny with the HSBC wives club. yes, i realize i'm playing for both teams - golf with the guys one week, brunch with the gals the next. just think of me as your #1 option for a rent-a-friend; the go-to when you got-none. this may even turn into a business of sorts....what do you think of Pardy's Platonic Escort services?

with that said, happy Easter everyone!
Aline & yours truly are off to Bali for a few days. as with all my misadventures, if the hotel has internet, there will be a live blogcast from the sand with absolutely zero shots of my toes dangling off a lounger...that is a promise.

casting call, take 3

2011-04-19T16:48:00.003+08:00

i love receiving fan mail. it doesn't come that often (hint), though is much appreciated when it does. allow me to share a recent piece right off the top.

how's HK? been reading your blog a bit, wish I did more, but i'm not going to lie, i don't.

hey that's fair, i'm not putting a literary gun to anyone's head. a reader is a reader, and i love you all, no matter how frequent you hit the Freedom button.
(thanks for the shout-out, AS)

so, it's 4ish on Tuesday and i'm waiting for the phone to ring.
1. check the ringer volume
2. ensure it's not on vibrate
ok.
still nothing.
the reason for my phoneiness?
i went to another casting yesterday and assumed i was a shoe-in for the gig.
the client - Hong Kong Airport Authority.
what does that exactly mean? i believe they handle security matters for travellers.
the job - a print ad.
the ask - they are looking for an average business man who can wheel a bag through the airport.
uh, hello? i am only just slightly perfect for this. you may remember me from such epic bag castings as Samsonite....
and of course, i just reek of a bizness man.
they took the requisite shots of the front, back, pulling a case, pulling a cast + shaking an imaginary hand. oh, and they wanted BIG smiles, my favourite.

it's now getting closer to 4:30, and still no call.
funny, figured this was mine to lose, especially given they needed someone to start tomorrow. maybe i should have further stressed the openness of my calendar.
still, no matter what happens, i won't get discouraged.
no, i won't stop, 'cause i can't stop. hell, i'm going to break-out Aline's suitcase and practice walking & air-handshaking everyday til i nail it.

i was also hoping that i could announce the ghost/guest writer today, but i haven't made it through all the applications yet.
to confirm, the content does not need to have anything to do with HK or Freedom.
just think of it as a forum to speak your mind, your digital soap box to an audience of no less than 40 people. how bout that for reach....?
sports, politics, pop culture, fave Rich memory.
the possibilities are endless.
don't make me go all teacher on y'all and make me pick one of you...please.
MC from the A or Lil' Roberto, i'm calling you out....make me proud!

Mr Monkey & the MF's

2011-04-14T17:43:00.007+08:00

so, freedomheads, a little quiet out there after the last post. does that mean the poetry didn't go over all that well? is it played out like kwame already? perhaps i'll leave it for a while, and bring it back when i feel it appropriate.

instead, let's mix it up and jump into another teacher post!?
yes, i know, lots of those going around as well...and i'm sorry. it's just hard to pass up such good content. i feel like i'm becoming the 'Tucker Max' of the teaching World - the more i teach, the more audacious the stories i have to share. and it goes a little something like this:

Tuesday morning, god awful early.
i have signed up, by my own free will, to start teaching a new class in a place called Aberdeen (southern part of HK Island). the classes start at 8:20am, which requires me to be out of the house by 7:30am.
i know, boohoo....
anyway, as is the norm for the first lesson of a new class, i meet up with a teaching assistant who then shows me the way to the school. for this specific class, i was to meet the lovely Trina at the bus stop (Trina actually turns out to be a guy - go figure). arriving at the school, i'm informed it's an all-boys school, which anyone outside of the teaching community would perhaps shrug at; me, i know that this means they are going to be a handful without some female injection of maturity. great. also, i have been informed that the students' English is actually quite poor, and to take it very slowly with lots of games...wheee!

first and foremost, i begin with a quick introduction.
"Hello, class. My name is Mr. Morgan", i proclaim, as i scribble the aforementioned on the chalkboard.
oh yeah, remember what I said about the English level in the room?
the name seems to be giving them trouble, for they don't quite nail it off the bat. instead, they decide that what they read doesn't say 'Morgan', but rather 'Monkey'.
i'm now Mr. Monkey.
the kids laugh.
off to a blazing start.

i start doing my thing, with the purpose of the lesson focusing on listening to me tell a story as the kids fill-in the missing words on their papers. i would say about 50% of the 20 kids are actually listening. the other 50% are either sleeping, talking, or talking in their sleep. i start into my patented walk-the-room methodology, and it seems to help drag that other 50% into the lesson temporarily. that is until i spot a couple of kids giggling at the front. one kid is especially proud of something he's done on his paper. i walk over, examine the paper, and it's exactly what you'd expect. the kid (14 or 15 yr old) has provided some anatomical additions to the drawing of a boy on the page....
do i need to spell it out?
ugh..., he's drawn-in ol' John Thomas and his 2 sons. the bits and bites. a trailer and its mudflaps.
a penis. he's drawn a penis.
as a teacher, the normal reaction i suspect should be -

"Timmy, stop drawing penises in class."

that said, i can barely communicate with these guys as it is, so i decide to let it slide and simply keep going with the lesson. not 5 mins go by, and this same kid is at it again. only this time, he trades his phallic art for a fairly severe English curse word.
he blurts out, seemingly unprovoked, "motherf'er".
for real.
a few kids, who obviously understand this but not a word i'm saying, rise up with the classic "ooooh". to be honest, i wasn't sure if he indeed said what i thought he said, but from the reaction, i assume the worst.
"now Timmy, we don't use those sorts of words in English....at least, not in the classroom."
i can't lie to the kid entirely though, as it does get used every now and then in western culture.....but not in this blog, of course.
sufficed to say, i was extremely happy to get out of the school that day before full-on anarchy in the HK broke out.

this new Tuesday class only helps to solidify my Wed crew as the best kids EVER...
it's almost like they want me to adopt them. every session, i continue to receive the same requests for Facebook adds, mobile phone digits, hell, even one kid wants to come to Bali with us! gotta draw the teacher/student relationship somewhere though, right?
i was also asked to help give one of the students a new English name. his current English name just so happens to be 'Dick'. an odd choice, perhaps, as I don't think it has the same relationship to 'Richard' here as it does in the west.
ok, no problem...i can take this challenge on. i throw out a few classics, like 'John' or 'Mike', and it's not really his thing. he wants something unique.
hmm..ok, how about 'Morgan II' or 'Tupac'?
not biting.
apparently i now have homework to anoint this kid with the most kick-ass name in history.

Real-time updates -
I'm currently sitting by the pool typing this up while basking in 29 degree heat.
however, i'm also dealing with pure chaos. absolute, unconditional kid crazy.
crying, fighting, running, splashing, and even more crying madness.
to this, i say, how dare they interrupt me while i write.

also, and certainly not intending to rub it in/out, but i started today off with a round of golf with my boys Anabelle, Monsieur Laurent, and JC from the A.
unlike most typical rounds, this one starts with a ferry ride from HK Island to a quaint little place called Discovery Bay, where residents trade cars for golf carts to get around the entire island.

how'd i shoot?
i birdied #2 out of the sand on the front, and i ate a tuna sandwich on the back...which should tell you how well i played.
super fun though, and look forward to the next episode a month from now.

that's it...
have a great weekend, everyone, and as a sneak preview for next week, we'll be featuring:
*another model casting
*a trip to the racetrack
*the lead-up to Bali
*and auditions for a Freedom 32 ghostblogger appearance....
interested applicants are urged to send a writing sample and their best drawing of yours truly.
the bar has been set below. like looking in a mirror....

Master P Theatre Presents....

2011-04-11T16:53:00.007+08:00

a while back, i wrote an off-the-cuff poem about a foot massage parlour.
it was quick & dirty (the poem, not the parlour), yet still received at least one request for an encore.
i won't out the lover of poetry in the ranks, just in case not everyone shared his/her enthusiasm.
but hey, i had fun throwing it together, so it would be my pleasure to create something new.

to start, i need some inspiration.
i can't just sit down and rock out some prose like it ain't no thing.
something magical or majestic needs to take hold of me to spin my lyricist ways.
today, being a slow sunny Monday, i replaced work & adventure with respite by the Bamboo Grove apartments' community pool for a couple of hours. i suppose that'll have to do.
and so, it begins.

Bamboo sunnin',
that hot summer's comin',
this is the way that we play.

sitting cool by the pool,
did i mention teacher hours rule?
too bad i can't say the same about the pay.

shirt's off, we're skins
as the iPod record spins,
but please don't get carried away.

as my body's still burnin'
while the world be turnin',
damn 7-11 & their spray.

let's see...what else can i rhyme...?
oh, here's some more -

babies are floatin',
mothers are doting,
a little girl be trying, but all she do is crying.

sweat building + heat rising,
may need to dip my lower left five in,
to see how the water is today.

"my word that's refreshing!",
i exclaim after testing.
it's official now - daddy's gonna get wet.

make way, everybody,
time for pool to meet pardy,
flip 'em over, i'm about to go all-in.

don't mean to be a miser,
but this includes you, lady in huge-ass pink visor.
sure that hat is so lame, it wouldn't even be funny at a dog poker game.
(to clarify, i'm talking about the classic picture of the dogs playing poker....not being mean about her looks).

a leap & a bound,
i'm off the ground,
plunging through that well-chlorinated blue.

my favourite stroke, you may ask?
it's very simple, don't laugh.
never one to be guile, i prefer my paddle doggy-style.

where's this flowin' about to be goin',
perhaps best to gas, before it gets too crass?
one more rhyme on a dime, then thankfully - quitting time.

and so i close & say sorry,
to those who may think it obscene,
to spend this time rappin' about la piscine.
for i completely agree,
it's even buggin' me,
that's it, this poem is over.

and so too is this post.

On Location - Avenue of the Stars

2011-04-08T13:19:00.008+08:00

Freedomites, we are blogcasting LIVE on location on the TST boardwalk, right across the water from HK Island. i decided to mix it up a little today, as it's beautifully hazy, but really, too nice to be in the home office so taking it mobile. the best part? this office has no price tag, aside from the short-ferry ride to get here which costs a staggering $0.25. otherwise, it's freedom seating, freedoom wifi, freedom nation! it's a tad touristy, which makes for good people watching, with their mutterings muffled out by my iPod. got a couple of euro-looking kids next to me, enjoying the rays, as well as a few sunbrellas out. of course.
until now, my go-to out of office location has been one of the many parks around our hood. unfortunately, after yesterday's experience i may not go back.
[real-time interruption - just had an Asian man pose for a picture next to me....apparently i'm on the itinerary.]
where was i. HK may not have lizards, but they have fleas. at least i think they are fleas. without fail, every time i sit out in a park, i return to our abode covered in bites. unlike 'skeeters, when you know you've been bitten, these guys are undercover lovers of my skin. i barely notice the little fruit-fly like bugs, but man, they itch like a sonbitch. the reason i think they're fleas is because i googled it. they seem common to parks and even have their own markets.
and so i scratch.
staying with physical abuse for a second, i was somewhat horrified by another incident at said park yesterday, feelings of guilt that i didn't do anything. tell me what you think -

angry woman (likely a mother)
young nerdy boy (likely 10 & mom's son)
the dialogue was in Chinese, but here's my re-enactment:

Mom - "I told you not to play with those pigeons!"
Son - "I'm sorry, Mom...."
Mom - "Oh, you're going to be sorry..."
The Mom then proceeded to grab the kid by the collar, and i mean her hand was fully in the tie-slot of the shirt, spun him around and borderline dragged the kid about 10 feet. if not bad enough, she then piledrived the kid down to the ground with all her might, leaving the son in the fetal position.
I was shocked, mortified at what i was seeing...waiting for something even worse to happen. fortunately, the mother simply turned and slowly walked across to the other side of the park; son, dusting self off, gets to feet and sheepishly starts to follow at plenty arms length.

so here's the question - what does one do in this situation?
where does the parental jurisdiction start and end, and how does culture play into this? see, i'm the product of spanking, and i think i turned out ok (thanks for going easy, M&D). discipline is a good thing, but this...this was crossing awfully close to MMA. mother & culture aside, i definitely would have stepped in if any boots started up. so, i ask again, what would you do in this situation?
just to make amends, i'm gonna let my kids out early tomorrow from class...pay it forward a little for lil' junior in the park.
[real-time interruption 2, asked to take a picture of 2 young ladies in front of the avenue of stars sign. odd, they didn't want me in it.]

other quick updates that you've been eagerly waiting for -
*iPads still remain unsold. do i wish i had those 5+ hours back in London...? talk to me when/if the eBay auction turns out in my favour.

*really forming a bond with my Wed class now, to the point they want to become FB friends and want my phone number. i haven't given either, so may miss out on the invite to Snowy's bday party this weekend (yes, the kids give themselves their own English names here.) My fave names? Snowy, Icy, Rico & Elvis. One kid also has a nickname - II, which stands for Illegal Immigrant. how cute.

getting real hot now, friends....may need to invest in a cold beverage.
but keep following our live blogcast all afternoon....we'll have magicians and balloon animals and a few more interruptions likely.
you're blogging with the best, who needs the rest, keep it locked to Freedom 32!

Samsonite & Sunburns

2011-04-04T16:21:00.011+08:00

it's grey & gloomy today, campers, which means i need to pull something out from the archives.
let's take it all the way back to Friday for my 2nd casting in as many days.
going in, all i was told was that it was for a bag company. given the euro stylings of the previous day, i was expecting to likely rock a few manpurses and be on my way.

classic model behaviour - i was running late, both literally and 'go-figure-it-lively'.
a sweaty mess, i finally make it to the office (of sorts), where there are more props than people. just me and a guy named 'Fen', a couple of Samsonite bags and 2 chairs.
as always, the first few snaps are solo shots - front, side, side, back, and the emerging back+head-turn-over-shoulder pose. so natural.
next up, grab a bag.
fortunately, it's the kind of luggage that i'd actually use on a trip, nothing furry or bedazzled. Fen takes a series of shots again - hold handle & pose, grab extend pull handle + fake walk, sit dejected on case while stuck in an airport...the usual.
the final task was to then cross my legs in a tall chair....
how this helps Samsonite sell luggage, i don't know....

"You've had a long flight. Relax, take a load off.
Let your Samsonite bag find you for a change."

oh yes, the sunburn part of the post. Saturday, Aline and I jumped on the ol' #6 bus, and, 20 minutes later, were basking in the sunshine and sea air of Repulse Bay beach. you wouldn't think it necessarily, but Hong Kong has a decent amount of sandy escapes, and, given our M.O. of "life's a beach", we'll likely get to know these areas very well. it was 27 & sunny and the only thing we were missing was the ever-important sunscreen. not to worry, a quick stop at 7-11 and we scooped up some SPF 50 spray. now, not to come across as a total beach snob, but i'm more of a cream guy. no real reason, just stick with what you know, i guess. anyway, i start spraying, and aside from eating some mist and the near eye-peppering, i looked to be in good shape to take on some rays.
ahh....

Rich is relaxin'.....maybe even chillaxin'.

(actually no, i wouldn't be caught dead using that word).
relaxing none the less, fast forward a few hours and i'm feeling a little...uncomfortable let's say. yes, this is a reflection of the Chinese mainland tourists buzzing around us from the hundreds of tour buses stopped here, sun-brellas included; on top of this, the discomfort is also due to my skin getting a little pink. and when i say pink, i mean lobstered. the best part, the spray has created splotches where i miss-fired, giving the appearance of rash clusters in about 5 different zones.

"LOL...oh that's too funny, Rich. But wait, tell me, how's the face!?"
not to worry, fans, the grill is still golden, the profile is still in style.
i'm going to have to be careful though, it could have ruined me for any one of the number of modeling opportunities that are coming my way.....and, well, ok, let's just say i'm fine for teaching on Wednesday.
---

Do you have any embarrassing beach experiences?
Lose your top in a wave or had your trunks stolen?
Write to us and let us know.
We may use your story on a future instalment of Freedom 32's Beachy Blog.

movin' & shakin'

2011-03-31T17:58:00.007+08:00

first and foremost, big bday shoutouts to the Watterbug & MC from Team A - both loyal followers of the freedom. membership has its privileges.

for me, it's back to the grind. last week was fun, the vacation from the vacation, which i know you all probably had a good little chuckle over. i know, it's ok.
but this is serious, i need to get busy, and fast.

teaching started up again this week, and as fast as i can drop English on my kids, my company signs me up for more classes. i still don't really understand how they operate. they are employing some sort of real-time inventory model. a class can be 24-hours away, and they come begging for me or someone else off their roster to help out. fortunately for them, i have very few excuses not to take what they throw at me. as it stands, i'm booked for classes every Wed & Sat for the next couple of months. woot.
i enjoy sharing classroom stories, and i promise this isn't turning into a kids say the craziest things - hong kong edition. i'm simply amazed just what exactly goes through their heads, especially when it involves me. i was waiting outside of my class with a teacher from the school, when a younger student looks at me, then says something in Cantonese to the local teacher. she quickly translates that the boy thinks i am 'very handsome'. i perhaps added the 'very', but either way, the kid is giving me props. it's an awkward flatter, coming from a young boy, however, it's just odd that it's part of the thought process. i'm fairly certain when i was 14 i didn't look at my teachers that way...maybe when i was 15 and it was the hot French teacher, but still...different.
on a similar level of vanity, the kids in my class took a stab at my age, suggesting i was 28.
'very good, class...'
i didn't correct them.
they also were quite fascinated by the size of my hands. this likely means that my nickname is now 'Mr. Big Hands'.
terrific.

with all these superficial comments going straight to my head, it's oddly coincidental that i got a call for a real casting today.
with wardrobe changes and all!
where do i begin.....

ok, well, how's about the part where they bumped me. twice....
for real, i got bumped...like a hack comic on a late night talkshow.
the casting call was 2-5pm, and being the mature model that i am, i was there a few minutes after the opening bell. waiting...waiting. finally, my contact comes out and apologetically asks if i can come back in an hour.
you see, Feraro (or something like that), another male model, had already jumped ahead of me. to add insult to injury, after my contact told me this, she asked 'oh, you must know Feraro?'...like he's the hottest goddamn thing to hit the runway since Hansel. pfft.
so, tail between legs, but still gliding, i have no choice but to wander around outside and come back later....
only to get bumped again.
this time, it was a client emergency, which really begged the question who i was actually here to see...as i thought they were the client. no matter, i wait again.
finally, attempt #3 to actually start my career was successful and i'm lead back into a fitting area, surrounded by a brotherhood of mannequins. the first wardrobe fitting is casual business attire - shirt, slacks, jacket - no tie, no problem. a small little area is curtained off for me to do a quick change. snap of the front, side, back and we're done. easy. i'm handed my next wardrobe and it's a cross between euro kidswear and euro kidswear pajamas. definitely not something i'd pick out for myself, but hey, this is a job and i'm a professional (in my head at least).
start my 2nd quick change, and i could be imagining this, but there's a certain scent on the clothes. a cross between ambercrombie cologne mixed with post-pubescent sweat.
it's model stink.
it's Feraro.
the bastard's in my head...focus Big Hands!
i repeat the triple turn, snap, and that's that.
the final portion of the test is a quick measurement session. tape out, and every inch of my body is recorded onto a stats sheet. i quickly scan and notice that there are targets imposed by the client for their 'perfect' model. was i a match across the board, you ask? no. not at all...but i have no idea how they grade this sort of thing. for the most part i was +/- 2cm on most of the criteria. i was then lead back out to the lobby and thanked for my time.
fingers crossed, i'll be back up in those PJs in a photoshoot near you.
if the day couldn't get any better, i was just asked to go for another casting tomorrow - to be a bag model. it's true what they say, big hands = big bag.
i'm a shoe in.

the London report

2011-03-28T14:41:00.013+08:00

guess who's back?
hi folks, sorry for my rude drop-off after Day 1. i hit a spotty patch with the ol' internet for a few days, attempting to survive without the luxury of in-room wifi.
though extremely tough, what enjoyment i lost in surfing & blogging, i made up for with touring the amazingly vibrant city of London. i had such a good time. really.
maybe it's the Brit in me, returning to my roots.
or maybe it was the uncharacteristically sunny March weather. whatever the reason, i leave this place seriously thinking that i could live here one day.

now, that sort of bold statement might make one assume that i did everything on the tourist check-list.
let me take the initiative on the Q&A:

how were the museums, Rich?
don't know, i actually didn't go to any.

how many shows did you get to?
none.

the view from the London Eye must be spectacular!?
i'm sure it is, but i didn't go up.

generally speaking, it wasn't that kind of vacation. thanks to a few loyal freedom fans, i was helped along in my travels with the unique knowledge that only a local can provide. the insider edge to the best places to go, the best cafes and pubs to indulge, and some cool neighbourhoods to explore that aren't necessarily going to show up in the city guide top-10 lists. in my opinion, you can visit somewhere based on what a book tells you, or you can experience it like a local would.
simply put, locals know.

of course, there's only so much you can do in half a fortnight. i'm sure there are plenty of things i missed out on (including the Oxford-Cambridge boat race), that i'll have to catch on the flipside. in the meantime, i'd like to pass along some of the learnings from my trip for anyone thinking of kicking it, London style.

Do - check out the many parks that central London has to offer, including Hyde Park and Regent Park.
Don't - go for a jog in the park without a map. I was limping around for a few days as a result.

Do - take advantage of the expansive subway system, known as the tube, & grab yourself an Oyster (pay as you go) card. All you do is swipe and you're in business.
Don't - get stuck in the tube without any money on your card. you won't be able to top up inside the gates and you'll be forced to nearly piggyback the guy in front of you just to sneak through the turnstile.

sticking with the tube for a sec,
Do - download the Tube app before you set foot on it. it's free and it helped me endlessly, with a route planner mode and easy access to the tube map. it didn't ultimately prevent me from going the wrong way on the tube about 5 times, but it could have been a lot worse without it.
Don't - run ahead of your partner when trying to catch a connecting train. One minute you'll be saying 'pick up your knees, hon!', the next minute you'll turn around and he/she will have hopped through the nearest open train door. Not good for many reasons.

Do - sample the amazing variety of cuisine a global city like London has to offer. I recommend a curry on Brick Lane (east London) or a secret wine bar/bat cave near Charing Cross.
Don't - eat McDonald's while on vacation. it's not becoming of you or anyone. did i eat McDonald's during my stay? well, yes i did...BUT, i had a really good reason. it was 2am, drinks had circumvented dinner...and i needed something....ugh. i'm guilty. if there's any positives from this, when i told my taxi driver to stop, i didn't refer to it as MacDonald's, like most Brits.

from a hotel perspective,
Don't - stay in an area called Docklands. far doesn't begin to describe the proximity between it and central London. 3-4 tubes and/or 40 quid for a taxi are what you'll be faced with. that said, i shouldn't/shan't complain about the hotel too much, given it was a freebie. given the choice though, Notting Hill was a much superior location. after my long days of touring & transport, the hotel did provide the comfort of my daily afternoon routine of workout/swim/hot tub.

Do - check out the various district markets, especially for fresh food and/or crappy vintage gear. Portabello market (Notting Hill) and Borough market (London Bridge) were two that stood out.
Don't - be afraid of Covent Garden. i had memories of this place being a little seedy and tainted with street performers. although the latter is true, and is somewhat a commercial stop, they have at least kept all of the original buildings intact. one of these so-called restorations just happens to be the Apple store, where a certain someone decided to line up for 6 hours on a whim and the prospect of buying the new iPad 2. am i crazy? yes, a little. was it worth it? not sure, check back when i have a buyer. that said, i don't think i have ever lined up for anything like that in the past. no overnight waits in the movie ticket line or Black Sunday queueing outside Wal-Mart. i figure we all should experience this kind of desperation meets humiliation meets geekiness at least once in our lives. check.

i'm writing this, having returned to Hong Kong. jetlagged a little, but happy to be back in the home space. romo is in good shape (thanks Team A), and now back to the mission at hand - make some money. teaching & iPads should help cover London...but Bali is a month away.
you want fries with that shake?

oh, and of course, some pics of the whole thing.

day 1 - fireworks & foot patrol

2011-03-22T00:32:00.010+08:00

i shut myself down extremely hard last night for bed.
it was around 9pm local time i believe, which i must again reference was close to 5am back in HK. the couch could have been a cloud full of pillows for all i cared...it was good night wet nurse for me.
that is of course right up until the fireworks started.
yes, real light 'em up fireworks, colours and multiple bang type of fireworks.
i have no idea what time the festivities began, probably around midnight i suspect.
normally, i would use words like annoying and hooligans to explain my reaction to these types of events. yet, given my somewhat spacey orientation, i felt like the bunker was under attack...seriously. i couldn't understand what in the hell was happening. perhaps there was a major holiday in the UK on March 20 that i was unaware of....or somehow i had slept right through to the 4th of July (which doesn't make sense for a number of reasons i realize...)
it was crazy.
heart racing, eyes shifting, i finally simmered myself down after a couple of minutes and i was once again back to dreamsville.

4:30am comes and i'm wide awake, yet somewhat happy at the same time for putting in almost 8 hours. refreshed & excited, the first thing that came into my head, strangely enough, was to go for a run around Hyde Park. hmm...odd choice really, given i really don't run back home. i guess there's just something about a large well-known park that makes people convince themselves that it needs to be enjoyed at pace, i.e. Central park or Jurassic park (give it up for the 90's, people).

i gear up, including a borrowed toque from my so-called roommate given it was a little frosty this morning and start the stride. if i were to compare my running style today to someone else, there's no question that i was definitely Forrest Gump out there.
and i quote:
"For no particular reason I just kept on going."

well, actually, there was a reason. i'm crap at directions.
the plan, before i left home base, was to run in a straight line to the park, do a portion inside the grounds and basically circle back and return as i came.
didn't quite turn out that way.
who knows what happened; maybe i got caught up with all of my fellow early morning runners out there, to the point where i think i followed a few of them the wrong way out of the park. for real.
a few minutes go by and i'm definitely not remembering any of these streets and certainly cannot see any of the breadcrumbs i'd dropped.
screw it, i'm lost.
lucky for me, i'm running with my iPhone...and even though it continues to prevent me from connecting to 3G, i still have the gps/location services working.
come on, blue ball, tell me where i am....
it does just that and it's confirmed - i'm nowhere near where i should be.
for a real runner, this wouldn't be a problem. just figure out the proper route and hightail it back. for me, i was already spent. nothing left in the tank. in fact, i would need to run even further back home than the first half of the leg.
nothing left to do but suck it up and start the jog-walk combos.
jog then walk. jog then walk.
you're gonna make it, buddy, even if it takes you til Noon, you can do it!
and i did. hooray for me.
all-in, a funny (typical) experience for me.
here's the Family Circus/Google Map track for you to see. i will remind you, this should have been one straight line from A to B and back.

how was the rest of your day, Forrest?
well, actually it was great.
covered a lot of ground, from Covent Garden to Leicester Square, Big Ben, Parliament, kids (yes, i already used that one yesterday, but you gotta give it up for European Vacation). my dogs are barking, enough for one day i say. some much needed downtime, perhaps a quick nap, and then a few pints to round out the evening in all likelihood.

a quick post freedomites, i know....with little-to-no real London content; yet i ask you,
are you not entertained!?

have blog, will travel (aka London, baby)

2011-03-21T03:19:00.004+08:00

13 hours.
13 fun-filled hours, confined to an airplane seat.
trapped like a rat.
in economy.
that's what i'm currently dealing with.

oh, hi folks, just checking in from 35,000 feet above Siberia at the moment...or is that Mongolia down there...?
not quite sure, but either way we're headed across Asia, over Europa until we reach our final destination of London.

it's a funny thing, all this time.
some choose to sleep or read...maybe a little bit of work.
to each his own.
me on the other hand, i'm indulging in the all-entertainment avenue.
after a short 5-minute catnap on the tarmac, i moved quickly to the tv shows, movies, and music...and in-between, staring blankly at the business class curtain divider.
did i mention Aline is up there?
all stretched out & comfy...almost too much room, wouldn't you say?
i can imagine the bottles are popping, the chocolate fountain flowing, all of them up there laughing in their splendor.
gee, i'd sure love a warm brownie & ice cream back here in 'low-class'..., i mean economy.
i actually stole that line from one of the fabulous features i've taken in thus far.
here's a quick rundown so far -
1 x The Office (UK version...when in Rome)
2 x Modern Family
2 x Curb
Due Date (where the aforementioned reference came from)
In Bruges, followed by another 3 Modern Familys.

as for the food, it's not bad.
7/10 maybe....
started off with an omelette for brunch, followed by the pasta for lupper.
i have no general issues with eating meat, i just find the pasta is usually the best/safest option to go with when flying.
yes, it likely screws over 'vegetable lasagna', sitting all the way in the back of the plane, but that's his fault for not checking in online earlier.

don't get me wrong, i'm certainly not complaining about the 'situation' i'm in.
am i a little jealous about Aline's 'situation'? yes.
am i a little uncomfortable in my 'situation'? a touch.
that said, we're inside 4ish hours from touchdown at Heathrow and the start of my vacation.
yes, you heard me - vacation!
i'm working now, i deserve to throw that word around again.
my only hope is that Aline is able to join in on the festivities eventually on this trip.

i packed ultra slim for the jaunt, rocking only 2 carry-ons.
nothing checked but the rent.
it's the epitome of liberation and efficiency to walk straight through to the airport exit, via the EU line (i gotz the passport) and bypassing that horrible luggage roundabout.
as I type though, i'm still mulling my 2 options to get from the airport into the city - either by the tube or an express train to Paddington.
the latter is 3x faster, yet 6x more expensive.
hmmm.
for those that know me well, that math is easy.

upon arrival, i'm meeting up with a friend of a good friend to pick up keys to said good friend's flat, where i'll lay it down for the first 2 days of the trip...
after which, the bank is ponying up for our hotel for the duration.
when i say 'room', you say 'service'....
(of course i would never dream of it, sweetheart.)

oh, the places you'll go when in London.
there's Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Parliament, kids....
yes, i will likely see these landmarks in passing, as i play my trademark "Get Lost - London Edition" game.
but i'm actually more excited to check out some cool neighbourhoods, get a taste for some local faves.
Team Oz member, Lou, was kind enough to provide me with the inside scoop on her must-see's.

editor's note - as i pound the keyboard, my neighbour across the aisle is watching Black Swan, and i can't help notice that in the last 5 minutes, both Natalie and Mila have been doing a lot more than dancing.
note to self: watch this flick on the way home.

the plan for this evening -
grab a pint, grab some bangers & mash, and likely crash out on the couch while watching Countdown.
so pretty much what i'd normally be doing, just in a different area code.

if any freedomites have any suggested itinerary additions, feel free to fire them up.
remember, this is as much your trip as it is mine.
oh, the places you'll go.

-------
real-time update>
i made it safely into Notting Hill, via the more expensive/quicker express train. shocking, i know. met up for the pad keydrop followed by a great pub meal & pints in me from the local down the road. aside from my mobile not working and word that Aline is without her luggage in Manchester, things are good....well, at least for me i suppose.
eyes heavy, 3:30AM HK time. bed imminent.

Jew or not a Jew?

2011-03-16T18:23:00.005+08:00

stop me if you've heard this one...
a man walks into an education office for an interview.
he meets with a lady and she asks him 3 questions:
"Do you have a HKID card?"
"Do you have any teacher training?"
"Do you have any teaching experience?"
The man, somewhat defeated, responds "No" to all 3.
The lady pauses for a moment, then says "When can you start!?"

it looks like i really impressed with that subbing duty on Saturday, as they have now extended actual full courses my way. in fact, i just returned from my first lesson as part of said course. allow me to break it down for y'all.

it's an 'intro to journalism' class, where the students will go through the process of creating their own school magazine, from design, to photography, layout and writing.
neato!
i'm actually quite excited about the material, as i never had the chance to be part of one of those super cool high school newspaper teams we all remember from 90's TV. eat your heart out, Zuckerman.
i received all of the course materials the night before, and unlike last time, i was sober and eager to review. class couldn't start soon enough.

one catch, of course, is that the school is FAR. i'm talking New Territories far, kids. though that region likely doesn't mean much to anyone back home, with a name like that, it just screams 'why the hell would you go there?' it's in a town called Fanling, and i have definitely never been this far away from the safety of Hong Kong Island. i was probably another 15mins away from mainland China.
no worries though, my work contact tells me there's a direct bus from Wanchai, get me there in just over an hour. fair enough.
yet, for it to be a 'direct bus', there actually needs to be a mother f'n bus. standing at the bus stop like a jerk for about 45 mins, seeing every other bus come and go about 5 times over...and yet still no #373 to speak of. Rich is starting to get concerned. flip my assistant a text to let her know of my difficulties and she talks me through it.
the result?
4 MTR lines, 13 MTR stops and a $150 taxi ride later, i finally arrive at the school 15 mins late. and although i realize this isn't a life&death type of gig, i definitely owe it to these aspiring beat reporters to be there on time. and i failed. at least next time i know what to do.

belated, the class gets going and what a difference a few days make. these kids couldn't be any better behaved. finally, some attentive students facing forward and not throwing their pencil cases each and every way. i did have to speak up a little as i introduced myself though, as the school band practices right next door with glee. decided to ditch the 'Mr Rich', opting for 'Mr Morgan'- the phonetics making much more sense.
i reiterate, the kids are listening...it's brilliant.
i even brought along some real-life materials for discussion - Aline's 'US' vs. My/Atila's 'Rolling Stone'. the class was eating it up.
took a slight detour for a second, when i questioned the merits of archaic print magazines to the super hot digital iPad editions...but figured that could be saved for another day. next, i explain the various roles of a magazine team, from editor to coffee-fetching interns. i ask everyone to get into teams of 4 and appoint roles for the creation of their own magazine company.

things are going well, and i start on my personal tour of the classroom...it's all about 'connecting' with these honour rollers.
a few general questions about the roles, and then i was stopped by a student who had a really pressing question for me -

Student (in broken English) - "Sir, are you a joo?"
Me - "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, can you repeat?"
Student - "Are you joo?"
Me (still not getting it)) - "I'm sorry, a what?"
Student (turning this into a spelling exercise) - "J-E-W."

yikes.
apparently, the student made the comment based on my nose.
now, don't get me wrong, i certainly don't condone racial profiling in any way, but that's not the point AT ALL.
do i really have a big nose?
shit.

with the awkward near-miss of the anti-Semitic portion of the lecture, the rest of the class was a breeze.
it actually flew by, and i was forced to give the kids homework (read: bastard).
a few kids stuck around after class, and nose notwithstanding, a few suggested that i could be, get this, a model....!
"huh, you kids are wise beyond your years...i'm actually looking to break into the...."

no. not yet, Rich. wait til they need a cover model for this mag....then we'll see who's a model teacher.

the duck likes nuts very much

2011-03-13T18:07:00.028+08:00

this post is dedicated to all the teachers i've ever had or ever known.
you are truly saints.

let me back up to Friday night.
it's 5pm, and i'm glued to all of the devastation unfolding in Japan.
insane.
at the time, it still wasn't completely clear just how bad it was/would turn out to be.....and i'll admit to briefly thinking of the possibility of a tsunami coming down this way.
fortunately, this did not come to fruition.

the reason for this preface is so i don't sound like a total a-hole when i tell you i turned off CNN 30 mins later to jump in a taxi, on route to the HSBC employee-bar. no disrespect to the tragedy unfolding, simply a few bankers needing a pint and i got the call. as we pulled up to HQ, i unintentionally short-changed the cabbie while at the same moment receiving a ring on my mobile. it was Queenie (real name) from the English teaching company i was referred to, looking for a last minute sub to teach a Saturday morning class.
"Queenie, i'm in."

now, you may ask if, in fact, i have any teaching experience?
that would be a very definitive no.
no teaching, no teacher's college, not even a camp councilor gig for god's sake. no, the closest i suppose i've ever been to teaching would be playing 'manager' for creative teams in the advertising game. not really the same thing.

cut back to the evening - a few pints at the bank, a bottle of wine down the road, a small dinner, and another couple of beers and our Friday night was fully completely. get home, and with eyes nearly wide shut, i open the email with tomorrow's teaching materials attached. ah, looks easy enough, it's English for children, i'll be fine. at that point, i was more concerned with how long it was going to take to get to the school, which just happens to be at the very far end of HK in a place called Tsuen Wan.
need sleep. deal with it tomorrow.

8am - rise & shine, teach! i shake last night's haze off, pick out what i consider 'teacher gear', and set on out. as soon as i jumped on the MTR, i counted the stops til my destination - 15, plus a short mini-bus ride to follow.
fantastic.

to be honest though, i was happy i had the time to review exactly what i was going to be teaching. yes, i was a little nervous. not for the fact of having to get up in front of a classroom full of kids...that's easy enough. it was more the idea that i still wasn't really sure what the hell i was supposed to be instructing, given i had received multiple PDFs of course material. it reminded me of that dream we all have, when you've somehow forgotten to attend a class all year and then realize you have an exam that day. deer in headlights, not a good look.

nerves settled down though once i arrived and met up with my assistant for the day, Lucy. she told me not to fret, that each class (i had 2 different levels that day) had the printed materials in the room and there was a specific lesson from the material to be taught.
ok, let's do this.

P1 aka "Terror Tots"
my first class was P1, which i was lead to believe is 6-7 yr olds. the protocol is to gather your class, who were all lined up in the open air mezzanine (good start) and take them up to the room. aside from the 'no running!' i needed to throw out early and often, i figured this was going to be easy. i actually started to think more about my teacher 'schtick', including writing "Mr. Rich" on the chalkboard and looking desperately for a ruler or a pointer...a standard teacher 101 tool.
unfortunately, i fear the kids saw right through the act. i barely had a chance to pick up the chalk i'd broken after scribbling my name down that the madness began. 20 kids, in theory here to learn English but obviously not interested in doing anything but yelling/poking/wrestling etc. apparently most had also downed a 2L tetrapak of Vitasoy prior to class, asking in sequence to go to the toilet. no joke. it was all going downhill before it began, and Mr. Rich was perhaps going to crack if not for the kid in the front row. finger in nose. pulling out the merchandise. i smiled to myself....let's begin.
it wasn't easy, but i got through it. i don't know if any of the kids truly learned much from their workbooks, but to be honest, i feel like half the battle is simply for them to soak up the English words that are coming out of my western mouth. i did the walk-around, interacting with little pockets of the kids vs. trying to engage them all from the front. we even finished off with a riveting game of 'Simon says', where i unleashed the patented 'Simon says - go to sleep'.
One down, one to go.

P4-P6 aka "Older & Wiser"
Same routine as before, more or less. Smaller class fortunately, of kids aged 10-12ish. generally speaking, they were much easier to handle aside from the 2 rowdy boys in the back. there was even a super keener girl at the front of the class, the type of student i probably would have made fun of as a peer, now as a teacher, i call her 'the golden child'. they all made a presentation of what they liked to do on weekends, not one of them mentioning how much they enjoyed English class on Saturdays. we finished strong with a game of hangman, then ring the bell - school is out.

all-in, aside from the slight headache, it was a unique experience and one that i will certainly carry fond memories for. i'm actually hoping that more teaching opportunities will come my way, as it was indeed a paid gig. going to put in a request for gym class next though...and the kids will forever let it be known as "Hangin' with Mr. Rich".

short comings

2011-03-11T14:16:00.006+08:00

been one of those weeks, loyal freedomites, where the weather hasn't engaged the adventure in me. been a bit quiet, but i'm pleased to announce that i will soon be taking the Freedom on the road for some international man of mystery blogging to London (England, not Ontario). more details to come next week and yes, it is notably a bit odd to take my first trip while living in Asia to the UK. alas, i simply go where the wind takes me (aka Aline).

so quick rundown for the week starting with perhaps the most exciting bit of news - i'm back on the iTrain, the iPhone has come home to daddy. reluctantly had to give up my previous iPhone when Tribal was done with me. i had been on a pretty good streak, about 5 years of company mobiles, alleviating any need for me to worry about my own personal device. having lived here for over 2 months, i was going a little stir-crazy without a phone; how would my 2 friends & modeling agencies ever get a hold of me??
so, biting the proverbial bullet, i decided it was time to throw down for my own phone.
easier said than done.
you see, in Hong Kong, and pardon the expression, but you ain't shit without an HKID. nothing crazy about that acronym, it is what it sounds like - a Hong Kong ID card. to get one, you either need to be ~~born here~~ or be lucky enough to be ~~married~~ to someone with one. scratch both of those and i'm out of options. no HKID means no to a lot of things, including a mobile phone. one loophole is to register a business, which is fine, but you also need to provide proof of a business address.
i'm screwed again.
fortunately, the wisdom of team America shone through and i was told of a great deal through HSBC provided Aline would be my guarantor. done.
perhaps the best part of the whole experience was the fact that 3 days after the first communication, the phone was delivered to my door...(another cool thing about HK, everything can be delivered, and usually free or minimal cost).
i've missed you so much, iP4.
for a good time, not a long time, call 9506 6205.

as i was saying, deliveries are super common here. once a week, i get groceries delivered, same-day couriers for about $2 CAD, and even master Romo's fancy organic pine fresh litter comes to the door. no wonder i never leave the flat. although, i did motivate myself to pop down to the local post office this week. you see, we had a rebate cheque sent to us here, from Canada, and i needed team Parents to help me get paid. yes, i'm riffing on a snail mail bit here......tough crowd. anywho, i was thinking this postage would run me at least dbl digits, so i packed my pockets with shrapnel and set forth. here's the payoff - for an air mail stamp and even a nice crisp envelope, it cost me $4. $4 hkd or $0.50 CAD. are you kidding me? basically i'm making money on this deal. what a shame that snail mail is total crap, short of greeting cards to the grandparents. otherwise, you'd all be getting a personal note signed & sealed from your fave asian misfit.

finally, i'm happy to report that i was 1 for 3 this week on the circuits. figure it should increase as time goes on, but for now, it's something i need to build up to at the end of each week.
today's rating - a 3 out of 10. i would agree for the most part, aside from the 'warm-up' which usually always kicks the two scoops out of me. we actually had a bunch of groupies today in the park, some mimicking our movements and some giggling and pointing as we finished up with some downward dogg style stretches.
for what it's worth, i gave them a few extra pumps of the guns, my version of the cap tip.
also, it looks like i've found my way onto a hockey team through the circuit crew. first game is this Thursday, and do not fear, i'll be keeping track of my stats for you all.
and before you say it, allow me - "they play hockey in Hong Kong??"
sure, a few anyway. it doesn't compare to the pick-up gymnastics on every corner, but it's growing...

tacos & tootsies

2011-03-07T18:08:00.012+08:00

i'm happy to report that the united nation of freedomites is getting bigger by the week; thank you kindly, all. big shout outs to the latest fans - Team America & Team OZ over here with me on the eastern hemisphere side. not to make anyone jealous, but these lucky fans also had the opportunity to sit down for dinner with Mr. Freedom himself on Friday night, over a platter of kick-ass tex mex. yes, even Hong Kong can whip together a nachos grande.

keeping with that sentiment, i feel there's perhaps a bit of a misconception of the culinary delights of this new city of mine. many a friend have asked how the 'street food' is and/or how much dog i'm fetching for supper. While the former is certainly an option (called Dai Pai Dongs), and i'm sure if i tried hard enough i could find a place to carve a little off lassie, it is definitely not the go-to for breakfast/lunch/dinner. Hong Kong offers the full spectrum of global cuisine that one would expect to find in any World-class city. yes, i am including the tex mex on this list, but it goes way further than that. French, Italian, Sushi, Nepalese, if a country has a kitchen, its cooks have infiltrated this city. perhaps i am sticking a little close to the western part of my palette still, for which you can shake your heads. Me..., I'm gonna keep rolling the way i am - strictly first-class international fooding.
Come join me, won't you?

From food to feet, and from 1st class to 3rd-World, allow me to take you on a little impromptu escape into the realm of a local foot massage -

a Saturday spent shopping, rendering us both a little beat.
i ask, what better way to unwind than someone rubbing on those feet?
soothing and soaking, i expected to drift away,
like laying on a beach, the ocean flowing, the palm trees sway.
just a word of advice though, don't open your eyes.
the dream world uncovered, an unkind surprise.
for your feet are submerged in a janitor's bucket,
the ocean's a toilet, clearly wish we'd said f*ck it!

ah poetry, so underrated. the experience i rhyme about was sadly fairly bang on. now, far be it from me to be all snooty and compare this local thai massage business to a fab spa at a 5-star hotel. it clearly wasn't that kinda place. a simple abode on the first floor of a very typical local-style building. the sign out front perhaps gave it away - '45-minute foot massage for $80hkd'. that's all of $10 CAD, so fairly cheap. still, i at least figured i'd get something similar to the picture to the side here.

instead, the place was straight out of a David Fincher flick (not the Facebook movie).
Super dark, not really dingy, just poorly illuminated, the place had 4 chairs back to front in a row. it was somewhat busy, so i got relegated back to the cheap seat. yes, i was sat right next to the little stall of a toilet, and who would have imagined that so many people required to utilize it after a 45-minute massage. and yes, some made the very most of it. combine this with one of the ladies, wearing super tight jean shorts and eating her lunch snack in my ear, as i also happened to be right next to the kitchen. again, i'm not intending to make fun of this home/parlour, it's just a commentary on the situation i happened to be ankle-deep in. finally, the actual massage itself was pretty good. a little pain through the tenderness of it all....Raúl really knew what he was doing down there. no joke, when we finished and headed for home, i felt like i was walking on a cloud. perhaps just happy to make it out in one piece.
that's it folks, la bon fin.....

bi-Friday's

2011-03-04T15:14:00.012+08:00

it's your end of the week "double dose" of Freedom for Friday, March 4. (btw, we're now 2 months into the Kong, if anyone is counting).

booty camp

last week, i skimmed through a high-level review of a couple of war flicks. as was mentioned in that specific post, Full Metal Jacket depicts a platoon of soldiers going through basic training, physically preparing for the rigours of war by participating in obstacle courses & running...lots of running. now, don't get me wrong, i absolutely know i have no place in the army. however, i have always been interested to see how i would do when pushed to my limit. i do tend to workout a lot, but i often go easy on Lil Richie, given i'm such a nice person...
plus, i always kinda made fun of people for bragging about "going to see my trainer". it just sounds like yuppy bullshit.
regardless, enough is enough, it's time to go extreme and get bikini-ready. via a newly-acquired expat buddy of mine, i was turned onto a circuit training group that meets M-W-F over lunch in Hong Kong park.
today was the maiden voyage and as a result, tomorrow will likely be the fetal position. reason being, i kinda got my ass kicked, which probably shouldn't come as a surprise. here's a quick breakdown -

squats up steps, broken up by push-ups on the landings
lunges up a hill, followed by more push-ups
abs, including planks for what felt like an hour
more push-ups, burpees (always thought this was a stupid name), and a few other no-pain-no-gain exercises. i'm spent.

will i be back on Monday? let's call it a game-time decision...but it can only get easier from here, right? (side note: i was told today was a 4 out of 10 on the pain scale). game-time decision...

introducing......RPM Productions

not sure how to really get into this post, given the internet is one big digital admittance on the record FOREVER. so, let's start from the top. i technically don't have a work visa in this country. but i would like to think that when i'm ready to get back into the game, i'll be able to do so without much of a hassle. as such, there needs to be a way around all of these so-called 'labour laws'....
-cross fade-

Welcome to RPM Productions, the business-minded producers with a creative edge.

the first rule of RPM Productions - you don't talk about RPM Productions...well, actually, you don't talk about the person/persons behind RPM Productions.
now that we have that straightened out...(blank stare emoticon), let's get down to business. the company, founded in January 2011, offers 'consulting services' primarily focused on the web/ad space. however, RPM Productions may also find its way into teaching, bartending, banking, importing/exporting...you name it, they can do it. RPM was built on a dream..and on a WordPress template. simple & clean, a few people were involved in helping this get off the ground - GMac & Kiwi, kudos to you both. i, like many, look forward to following the progress of this newly-formed company and keeping you all informed when (if) they get themselves a client.

Oh, one last thing. businesses in Hong Kong have a very unique and important tool that is not shared with businesses back home. I present to you, the company chop. a chop is more or less a stamp, kinda like what you would have found in a librarian's hand in the 80's for inking those precious due dates in the back of Hardy Boys novels. normally back home, an official document can be merely signed; not in Hong Kong, my friends. you need to chop that document like your life depended on it. only once you've got your company seal on it will the deal be done. that's your HK insight for the day.
unfortunately, 'don't dip your chop in the company ink' seems to get lost in translation over here though.

cut.it.out.

2011-03-02T16:18:00.008+08:00

we're living in a crazy time right now.
unrest in the middle east & Africa.
persisting global economic worries.
Charlie Sheen.

when you lay it all out, it's really not all that dissimilar to the issue i was faced with today: i needed to find a place to get my hair cut.
for you see, it's the simple things in life that we oft take for granted. gone is my cozy little 'salon' on Granville, where Brandie would always have a cold beer ready for me to get me nice & relaxed before the chop.

that was then.....this is Hong Kong. doing a little bit of research, there are a couple of different tiers of cutters in this town. you have the higher end 'salons', like Tony & a Guy (or something like that), where you'd end up paying a ton of cash. i don't think my hair deserves you, Tony.

on the complete opposite end of the scale, i found a very unique approach to a barber shop. it's called an alley, with a chair and an old man. now this is Hong Kong, people! i was actually really psyched to go check this out, as it's merely a few blocks away from us. unfortunately, it just so happens that they are throwing up another condo on that block, so the old guy has certainly picked up and moved to another little nook (archive image below).

Third option is the chop shop, figuratively and literally. there is a very efficient mentality to these types of barbers - get 'em in and get 'em out. one place even brags to offer the '10-minute haircut', and goes as far as to breakdown their patented efficient system to haircutting. to be honest, that is very much ok with me. the beer notwithstanding, i would have been ecstatic to escape the chair short of an hour on average back home. this ain't no magic cuts either...., there is still some TLC in those sheers. average cost of a cut here - $50hkd ($6 CAD); now that sounds like magic cuts.

so, which place did i end up at? actually none of these. i found a somewhat normal looking place not far from the condo development, walked in and within 15 mins & $100hkd, i was freshly shorn. i suppose it's the hybrid choice for my hair. next time out though, i'm gonna take a poll and you, the Freedomites, will get to choose a hair style for me. (fine print - if i have a real job by then, this offer is null & void).
oh, and here are a few random shots that have very little to do with a hair or cutting.

it's t-shirt time

2011-02-28T17:22:00.014+08:00

finally, it's time to set the guns loose! after about 10 days of cold weather (relative of course to SE Asia), we're staring summer smack in the sweaty face. i have had at least one request for 'more action, less movie review', and with the weather playing nicely again, that's just what i'm gonna do.

so, first things first, crack the ol' Leisurely Hiker's Guide and pick a destination. on a side note, i recently happened to mention this guide to another expat, and how i was enjoying leisurely making my way through it. her reaction was less than enthusiastic, in fact it was down right emasculating. apparently, anyone who wants to do some 'serious' hikes in HK needs to get the Serious Hiker's Guide and stop playin. undeterred, i'm going to stick to the cruise control of my current book.

without further adieu, i present Peng Chau. about a 45-minute/$1.50 CAD ferry ride due west of Central, and dangerously close to Disneyland Hong Kong, lies a sleepy little covey island of Peng Chau. it's known for its small island lifestyle, with lovely coastal views from its tallest point, Finger Hill. not many people actually live on the island, and the homes are very simple yet have outdoor space to enjoy the ocean air.

given the diminutive nature of the island, i wasn't overly concerned with breaking my leisure mandate. that said, i confess to be writing this in the absence of most of my clothes, having put them through a decent sweat earlier. a lot of steps and a torrid pace getting around all of the points made it worthy of the 'serious' label, in my opinion anyway. the highlight was probably reaching the climax of Finger Hill; out of breath and visible wetness were all worth it for those 360's. sadly, there were 2 other tourists up there that appeared to be doing just fine - they must have choppered in. with the highs, i might as well share a low. on my return down to the town area, i encountered an elderly lady in the street - she had to be 90 if she was a day. I flashed her a quick smile and she almost instantly proceeded to clear her throat, giving it all back to the street before me. kinda gross.

after about 3 hours on the course, i was back in the centre of the island, near the ferry terminal. as a reward, i treated myself to a doughnut in a bag and the most random sports drink you'll ever see. with the latter in mind, it tasted like a fairly normal lemony type of drink, yet, it's the fine print on the label that has me more intrigued: 'added chlorella growth factor'. on quick review, it appears that it's just a vitamin cocktail, and not that David Banner gamma ray shit.

the Peng in living colour here.

triple threat Friday

2011-02-25T16:34:00.014+08:00

a 3-for-1 post up for you all, because really, you deserve it.
let's get right to it.

i checked the box

happy to report that I went on yet another casting call on Thursday.
at this point, i'm going on the perspective that it's simply just a big numbers game, and eventually, after about 20 castings, I'll get a gig. for those looking for a little insight on what happens at a casting, it's really not overly sexy.
i was under the impression i would be in a room full of talent, a male model sandwich of sorts. it turns out though that there is never anyone else in the office with me.
the process appears to be consistent: walk in to a very small makeshift office, lots of glamour shots on the wall, and i'm asked to fill out a form. basic particulars (name, passport) along with the more hardcore questions around measurements (chest, inseam, hips). i would be a little afraid if i knew how 'hippy' i was, so each and every casting, they pull out the tape and size me up. finally, the form closes with the types of jobs i'd be interested in:

Runway (hmm, not so much)
Editorial (sure, sounds like me)
Swimwear (yah, i like to swim)
Nude (hmm, has it come to this? )

i'll admit, i'm not super eager to go full monty on a group of innocent people, and as such, have resisted ticking the box in most of my previous castings....and look where that got me.
so, what the hell, i ticked that box. my talent scout, Melody (real name), told me you're usually given a loin cloth or something like that, so it appears that the World would be spared my alter ego (Dicky Dickerson, III) if it happens to go down.
i look forward to posting those pics for you all to gawk/judge/wallpaper.

speaking of wallpaper, great segue....

Extreme Makeover: Hong Kong edition

i will keep this brief, because there isn't much to talk about, but we now have our beautiful IKEA furnishings. in all honesty, most of the stuff is nice enough, and the flat is starting to feel cozy. i smell a dinner party!
for anyone interested, the pics are posted on my Picasa page.

This is my blôg. There are many others like it, but this one is mine

i love torrents, don't you? given my extended periods of downtime, i have been known to peruse the odd torrent or 2. i have created a list of classic films, some of which i may or may not have seen (again, memory issues), that i have decided need catching up on.
it's also good post filler.
this week's review is entitled Who Won the War?
i'm talking 'Nam, kids. the 'shit'.
Platoon vs. Full Metal Jacket.
Stone vs. Kubrick.
Sheen vs. Modine.

Both share obvious similarities in terms of era, location, battle, and yet one stands out as so much more than just a war flick. Let's break it down -
Platoon has a ton of star power, including a fresh faced Johnny Depp not to mention a young Johnny Drama! the aforementioned Sheen is the main focal point of the movie, even taking on the v/o narration from time to time. without trying to offend those that choose to be Two and a Half Men fans, Sheen is a little one-dimensional. i swear, i truly thought Ricky 'Wild Thing' Vaughn got drafted into the war.
not buying what you're selling, Charles.
(spolier alert, folks)
in the end, a few soldiers die, but of course, Sheen's character does his best Rambo impression, single-handedly takes down a few hundred VC, and flies home a hero. hooray.

switch it up - Full Metal Jacket.
bit of a no-name cast, unless you consider Matthew Modine our generation's Ed Begley Jr.
the majority of the film doesn't actually take place in the jungles of Vietnam, instead focusing on the basic training that the marines had to endure before the pleasure of heading over to SE Asia. truly shocking to see the emotional abuse, that i would imagine is bang on the experience of enlisting = super fun.
transition over to Vietnam, and instead of showing the typical trees & tunnels, the fighting happens in blown out towns. Modine's character is part of the journalist core, who ends up getting sent into the 'shit' and encounters more than he necessarily signed up for. a cool angle by Kubrick, portraying a documentary theme within the film itself, showing candid moments with soldiers and their perspective on what the hell was going on.

(another sorta spoiler alert)
final portion of the movie goes somewhat badly for a few members of the featured platoon by one very accurate female sniper. ultimately, the USA takes her down and continue on with their mission. mind you, i was pleased that the movie concludes with the boys marching to the next battleground, omitting the gratuitous flag waving/thumbs up scene from the chopper headed back to freedomland.
to summarize, it probably doesn't need to be spelled out - Full Metal Jacket wins my Vietnam!
hooray & Peace out.

daze of my life

2011-02-21T15:02:00.009+08:00

greetings, Freedom fans.
been a long time, hasn't it? what's new with you??

my goal in writing (as in life) is to always target quality first, quantity second.
this last week hasn't quite registered on the quality scale, and therefore, the lights were dimmed on the blôg.
guess that's what happens when the weather turns a little ugly and i'm sat at home waiting for scheduled daily deliveries of everything from new beds to cat litter.
welcome to the good life.
also, it didn't help that i received so much fan mail from my screenplay offering - you guys are too kind!

nevertheless, i do have something 'quality' in the works that i hope to share with you later this week. the suspense is crushing.
in the meantime, i present to you the Freedom's version of stati update; sarcasm included:

Friday>
Yum, eating dinner at Nobu. Wish you were here.

For those not familiar with Nobu, it is a kick ass global Japanese fusion eatery. We can now cross off the HK location, which gets us to 4 Nobu's visited worldwide.
Waiting for that loyalty card to come any day now.

Saturday>
Fighting the masses in Wanchai Computer centre. Could it BE any more crowded?

If the Amazing Race ever comes back to Hong Kong, this would be the perfect place to F with a few Americans. Encompassing a mere 2 stories, this tech mecca is incredibly resourceful and painfully confusing. Maybe it's just me (see: Mong Kok shoe experience), but I get turned around in this maze like a pig on a spit (urbandictionary definition not pertinent).
It is a super cool experience though, as i've now managed to replace all my NA power cords with HK/UK style plugs.
Oh, good for you.

Monday>
Trying to do some banking at HSBC, having no luck. Failure to launch, McConaughey.

Spent about an hour attempting to open up an investment account this morning....because day trading is a very profitable way to spend my time, right?
So, after going through the process of changing my address on file, followed by a fun risk-assessment questionnaire, where i was asked to repeat my answers into a speaker phone, i was right on the cusp of buying hella low and selling hella hi.
wrong answer. it appears they failed to recognize that i shared my account with the world's greatest banker, Aline, and as such, we'll need to set up a couple's appointment to fill in a consolidated questionnaire.
i know what we're doing Friday night, honey....

so there you have it.
yes, a little less filling of a post, but still tastes great on a Monday.
stay tuned for something meaty on the horizon.
Freedom, out.

Unrestricted

2011-02-15T19:51:00.007+08:00

so, i've been doing my best to 'cool it' with the retirement jibba jabba, to the nodding acceptance of a select few. from now on, no more of this retired outlook. i'm going to consider myself a free agent, a guy who's taking some much needed time to really cruise the market, to find something super teriffic, in the continuing journey that is my career.

and no, i'm not a superstar athlete. nor am i an actor or, (choke), a model. yet, with my quote/unquote normal path in life, it pains me to think that nobody is working for me; not literally working as my employee, i mean working for me, the brand that is Rich.
so what if i can't raise my slapshot and won't earn a supporting Oscar anytime soon. does that prevent me from having someone looking out for my best interests? (moms don't count).

power to the people i say. i need a gosh darn agent. (yes, I feel it's best to start censoring the odd line here and there; a sign of things to come).
think how awesome it would be, for us white collars, to have the strength of another person by our sides to ensure we get what we deserve out of our Monday to Friday's.
you want my client to work overtime? check the contract, bud.
my client hit a few of his targets this year. you know what that means - minimum 15% increase or we walk.

enter Unrestricted. not only did i dream up the idea of real-people agents, but i may have also created my own little fantasy out of it (aka a screenplay). i actually had this idea and drafted this little treatment before becoming a free agent, so no points for making the most of my downtime while unemployed. that said, i thought it was time to share this with the Freedom followers. do with it what you will, but i will absolutely take full credit for the revolution that may ensue.
a final note - i felt it best to censor the screenplay in certain locations, as there may be some sensitive eyes on this one. please don't hold it against me, and please don't think i'm a total p----.

still in the running...

2011-02-11T18:08:00.002+08:00

...to becoming Hong Kong's next top model; despite this, like with many industries, i'm expected to first pay my dues. in modeling, this can only mean one thing - i need to blow models. seriously. i blew a model on set yesterday. oh right, clarification - i was the fan guy for a women's apparel shoot.

let me tell you, wind engineers are a vital piece of the photoshoot landscape. if i were to describe the experience in one word: intense. i suppose you could say it's the equivalent to the mailroom boy within the white collar world, or perhaps the fluffer in the bedroom accessories world - sometimes, you need to go down to make it to the top (you see, the best angle to operate a fan is from the ground).

still crossing my fingers and burning those calories in anticipation of the big break. for the time being though, i'm appreciative of the exposure i'm receiving to the models inc. world and its beautiful people. i even think they've started to accept me as one of their own, hooking me up with a super awesome nickname....Hot Air.
time to party.

oh no they did not

2011-02-09T17:27:00.004+08:00

so i'm flipping through a copy of US magazine....(i know what you're thinking, and yes, it is a very normal heterosexual selection from the rack). anyway, i'm reading this thing and suddenly come across an ad for a new sitcom:
Retired at 35.
what the hell....i read further:
A New Sitcom on TV Land.
well slap my ass, this is sounding awfully familiar.
i must do a little more research.

turns out, it's true - the suits over at TV Land have made a sitcom about a guy who, get this...., retires early, at age 35.

still don't think it's real?
here's the plot overview>
The series follows a successful New Yorker named David (Johnathan McClain), who decides to leave the rat race and his job in the big city and move in with his father (George Segal) and mother (Jessica Walter) who live in a retirement community in Florida to reconnect with them, re-evaluate his life and live the dream of retirement that so many are working toward.

ok, so there are a few 'variances' to the premise, but come on.....am I the only one seeing this thing? helloooo? this is a total rip off of the Freedom.
many of you new readers won't know this, but prior to my recent life decisions, this blôg was previously known as Freedom 35 (and yes, i've decided from now on that this blôg will have a little French injection).
now, before i get too excited for any royalties due to me, i need to actually take a look at this brilliant concept in living colour.

hmm...well...i likely don't have to worry about royalties. this thing is getting shut down in 6 episodes - max. i don't even need to see an actual episode, the crap sell-job the cast does in this promo reel is quite enough.
TV Land, if you're reading this, you have my blessing to infuse your show with any number of my antics abroad. hell, maybe even New York City David will decide he too wants to become a model (although this dude looks nothing like me).

alright, that's one lawsuit settled.
now, for the real money maker.....this one is a no-brainer. it's ME!

HBO, your move....

super bowl monday

2011-02-07T16:19:00.007+08:00

whaddup, sports fans.....can't think of a better way to start off a new week with a big ol' game of football. with the timezones as they are, rather than spending the whole day boozing & eating and watching 8 hours of pre-game coverage, we literally had to set an alarm for the local 7:30am HK time kickoff. trade the pizza for some muffins, frittata instead of chili, and light beer instead of regular beer, along with a special treat from our American hosts - a traditional Carolinian dish of shrimp & grits.

as for the game itself, it was conservative yet entertaining. to be honest, i really didn't care who won, which is refreshingly much less stressful than usual. happy for any true Packers fans i know, but also believe that a lot of pseudo football fans come out of the wood work when Green Bay is successful (make sure you remove the price tag of your cheese head, cheesedix).

how was Chinese New Year (you may or may not ask)?
conservative yet entertaining.
actually, remember that crack i made about a 2-day bout of swine flu? well, i thought i had it, or SARS for a few days last week (violent fits of fill-in-the-blanks). as a result, we didn't get to partake in any of the paradey/fireworksy fun. the long weekend wasn't a complete loss though. we pampered ourselves at the spa, rubbed in all the right ways. (it was a couples massage, keep it PG folks).

fat rabbit new year to all

2011-02-02T17:33:00.013+08:00

Kung Hei Fat Choi, everybody....i can't believe as of tomorrow, the year of the Tiger will be over, making way for the fresh new year of the Rabbit.guess the lunar calendar didn't intentionally plan out the hilarious irony of last year for this guy. having spent the last 6 years in Vancouver, i had a little exposure to Chinese New Year (CNY), which entailed getting ~~dragged~~ invited to a corporate dinner celebration a couple of times. now that i'm a little closer to the motherland, i'm gaining an increased appreciation for what CNY means to the people here.

a quick coles notes version for those of you at home>
it's the most important of the traditional Chinese holidays, and results in public holidays this year for 3 days....which doesn't really affect my schedule so much. a ton of decorations get set up everywhere, mainly red lanterns and mandarin orange plants. similar to many north american holidays, it is a time for families to get together, and a fair amount of 'mainlanders' come into HK to get down. some interesting traditions are to clean your house immediately before the new year to 'sweep away' the previous year's bad luck. by far the most interesting tradition IMO is the ritual of giving money to people in the form of new crisp bills inside red envelopes. it is common practice for people to approach their boss/parents/elders directly and proceed to do the classic throat clear until the red envelope is coughed up. i'm excited to look under my pillow tomorrow to see if the rabbit leaves me something.
so, that's basically a beginner's guide to CNY, and i'm hoping to expand on this a little once the actual holiday is upon us.

speaking of furry animals, i didn't really have the capacity/sobriety to explain yesterday's picture of me in the mink. as part of my own personal pre-CNY party, i had the pleasure of hopping into a refrigerated vodka bar, in the heart of the bar district in HK called Lan Kwai Fong. and yes, it was meat locker cold...but a cool experience nonetheless.
oh, and for some reason, CNY wouldn't be CNY without the cheerleaders from LSU. no joke, they are in town for the CNY parade. random, yes. guess they were going for a cross between Tigers & Bunnies. happy rabbit!

models inc

2011-02-02T01:34:00.014+08:00

yes, it's a late post, but better late than never.
daddy's been a busy boy this eve, so apologies that you've been without the freedom.
hoping that these pics will make up for it.
no, i'm not a starlet yet, but fairly sure these will help the portfolio.
many thanks to my new bff GMac.

and yeah, i go fur, but only the fake stuff....hash tag PETA my friends.

quality or quantity, you decide?

2011-01-31T18:09:00.012+08:00

one thing i don't miss about a 'working' monday morning is the incessant and obligatory "how was your weekend" question. i can't possibly think of anything short of a 2-day bout of swine flu that would illicit anything but a "weekend was awesome, can't wait til friday" response.
as many of you will be picking through the freedom on your respective monday morning, i will assume that the weekend was fab for all.

that being said, given my current situation, i have no problem answering that question with a lot less snark. so here goes -
aside from taking us for a late-night dinner to a restaurant that closed a year ago, without access to a phone or wifi to figure out what other options were around, it was pretty good. the notable activity for the weekend? you guessed it, spending saturday afternoon at IKEA. yes, those damn swedes are everywhere....(hi erica). have to give them credit though, cut from the same cult cloth as mcdonalds, they more or less replicate their corporate template no matter what city/country/village. even down to the hot dogs and $2hkd ice cream...which works out to a cool canadian quarter. the reason we were there was simple: we have no furniture. well, not exactly no furniture...we have remnants of the previous tentant's furnishings...and as much as it doesn't necessarily bother 'me', it bothers 'us' quite a bit.
to note - neither of 'us' are super enthused about having a flat that looks like an IKEA catalog. but it was out of our hands...the bank calls the shots on the apartment and its contents. (given they pay the rent, literally, that's just fine)
what's good about the deal is that they gave us an allowance of $40,000 hkd ($5,000 cad) to spend. for any of you +30's out there, it reminded me of the old Wheel of Fortune format, where the contestants were forced into spending their cash on crappy featured showcases. To the living room we go.....
it's also nice that the stuff will be delivered & pre-assembled for us.

what's bad about the deal, as i mentioned before, it's IKEA.

based on the 40g's though, we were able to get a fair amount of stuff for the living/dining/office/bed rooms. if nothing else, it was fun to spend money that's not your own. we can only hope that what looks half decent on the website will look just as satisfactory at home. i'll be sure to snap a few rounds off when it's all in place....and a few pictures too.
yum.

1 down, 23 up

2011-01-28T16:34:00.017+08:00

first month in, feelin doubleplus good...(oh right, already used that yesterday). i would love to tell you it's been a tough time adjusting to my new life here, as I peel the pull tab on my San Miguel, but in truth, i'm having a bloody good time doing what i'm doing. admittedly, there has been a lot of 'retirement' talk, which has caused at least 2 very strong unlikes in my community....but the truth is that it's really just blog schtick. i do plan to get a job eventually and contribute as much bacon as i can to this family. cue the segue, as it so happens that I got a callback from a modeling agency this week. there was a potential gig happening tonight (Friday), and it was suggested that i could be just the man model they were looking for. sadly though, the big break hasn't broken yet. the email, verbatim>
----
Dear Rich,
Sorry, the client didn’t pick you for the job.
Will contact you if any other job comes up.

Thanks for taking part in this time.
Talk soon.

Rds,
Katelyn
----
it's tough hearing things like this, after putting my heart & soul into this life choice. but i won't get defeated...i just need to get better/prettier, something....anything.

on a brighter note, i'm happy to let everyone with bated breath know that i bought some shoes. "oh good for you", you may say, and yes, i too say good for me. 2 pairs in fact....one slip-on replacement (Lacoste - are they still cool, guys?) and one more rugged pair of NB's. the great thing about shopping here is that the price you see is the price you pay. none of this BS tax stuff...just the straight goods. all-in, the 2 pairs ran me about $75 CAD. a steal.

finally, i know you've also been waiting for more tales from the grocery store. quick side note - i actually love grocery shopping, and probably a good thing, since i'm there everyday. double side note - i see the same people persistently, and i'm quite certain they probably think i'm a stripper.....why else would i be there each day at 3pm. (i sense 2 more 'unlikes' coming with that comment).

here are a couple random products i decided to bring home on a whim. probably not the craziest things you've ever seen, yet the mystery is still there.
the can of 'Nescafe' probably solves itself right away....i'm betting it's something to do with coffee....and yes, remarkably it is, iced coffee or something along those lines. never had iced coffee, but i do love my iced tea, so it just makes sense that i'd like this...and i do. it will be my drink of choice when i need to quench a thirst and get jacked up and all twitchy. to its left, a random drink box, with random foreign writing....i think it might be Japanese. i also have a sneaking suspicion it's a milk product, with a flavour of.....hmm....chocolate perhaps. correct answer: chocolate soybean milk.....with pork....
of course, i kid. just straight up choco milky goodness. how's that 'culinary manhood' coming, you may ask....and yah, it's pretty weak still. that said, Chinese New Year is kicking off next week and i'll be damned if i don't bite the head of off something.
tastefully yours,
the rich

having a doubleplus good time....

2011-01-27T16:21:00.010+08:00

for all you cunning linguists, you'll likely know by the title of this post that i just finished reading '1984' by George Orwell. one of those school-type books that i may have read back 20 years ago, but if so, god help my memory because it was all new to me. no need to worry, this isn't going to be a book report other than to say the book is eerily plausible and somewhat a reality of how society has become so easily accepting of full transparency into one's real-time behaviours, i.e. Facebook. no doubt a classic of a read, i must admit i enjoyed the first half better than the mind-F latter half.
spoiler alert - big brother wins.

speaking of big brother, here comes the point of the post. Hong Kong is a super safe city, i feel totally at ease no matter where i am or what time it is....which isn't something you can say about a lot of big cities. one thing i have noticed though, which may be in part responsible for the lack of criminal intent, is the fact that there are cameras...everywhere. in our building alone, there are cameras in every public area i've been in. the elevators - cameras, which hasn't stopped me checking myself in the mirror. the gym - cameras, which hasn't stopped me flexing in the mirror. i'm pretty sure there is even a camera in our flat somewhere, which would be extremely exciting footage of 18 hours of me on the couch with or without a cat walking around. and though i surely have nothing to hide, i do need to be a little careful when i'm out on the lamb not to spit my gum on the ground or litter for fear that it could be caught on video and i could get my ass caned...literally.
btw, i must thank AOz for hooking me up with free ebooks for the iPod. i may stay on the Orwell bandwagon a little longer with 'Animal Farm', a book i know i have read and i know i have forgotten. until next time, i'm Rich Morgan asking you to give in to the magic of reading!

it's gotta be the shoes

2011-01-26T17:18:00.016+08:00

i need some sneakers. i packed a little light on the way over here and have found that i'm down to 2 pairs of shoes: my bad ass Old Navy slip-ons, which are just about ready to be trashed and my formerly squeaky clean gym-only Nikes, the more comfy of the two for all the creeping i'm doing around the city.
right, time to go buy some shoes....
editor's note> i am fully aware & apologize that these posts are trending towards the equivalent of a Seinfeld episode.
"what did you do today?"
"oh not much, went out to buy some shoes."
"awesome, that's another blog post."

anyway, i was told by a source that the place to go for shoes in Hong Kong is Mong Kok (yes, it sounds like it reads...get the giggles out now). now this source (who will remain nameless) suggested that the actually spot to get these shoes was super easy to find...."they are street vendors, the shoes are on the sidewalk...you can't miss them". thanks honey. seems simple enough.

MTR to Mong Kok, and i kid you not, i spent probably close to an hour staring towards the sidewalk as i dodged the foot traffic. no shoes. lots of people with pamphlets and shoe shining vendors, but no shoes. hmmm. i did come across a huge street market, full of stalls and everything you could ever imagine for sale....so figured this was it. another 15 mins or so looking back and forth through the plush toys and Man U jerseys, and yes, there were a few pair of shoes scattered throughout, but i knew this def wasn't the intended destination.

about to give up hope and abstain from any blogging for the day, i came across an actual shoe store...like a proper shop with walls and shelves. hmmm. had a quick look around, then out to the street to find yet another proper store. well, god damn, if there weren't shoe stores as far as the eye could see. mission accomplished.

totally not what i was expecting and incredibly confusing at the same time. i believe there are only 2 actual shoe franchises, and yet they both have multiple storefronts on the strip to the point where everything really started to look the same....and i believe in all my excitement, i got turned around so much i think i visited the same stores a few times over....
editor's note> one of these franchises just happens to be called Toronto Sports. No kidding.

in the end, i sadly didn't even buy a pair. shopping fail. alas, shoe mecca aside, i have a 30% off coupon to the New Balance store and the unemployed need to be savvy. sounds like a bit of a blog fail as well, doesn't it. i will step it up a bit.

It takes a nation of 10,000 Buddhas to hold us back

2011-01-25T19:07:00.008+08:00

another day, another hike from the Hiker's Guide to Hong Kong. happy to say that this did not turn into a tour of the dead but a pilgrimage to the Ten Thousand Buddhas Monastery. there was a moment of concern along the way, but let's get some deets first.

located in 'the new territories', the monastery is in a place called Sha Tin, essentially on the way to mainland China. it takes about 45 minutes to get there from HK Island, a total of 4 different MTR's (subways) and all for the bargain price of $13HKD (about $1.50 CAD)....public transit is ridiculously cheap in these parts. take another 431 steps up and that's where you'll find the temple containing 10,000+ small golden buddahs.

on the way up though, you'll find some larger buddahs lining the pathway as well as one real-life monk. without the ability to strike up a boisterous conversation in English with the fellow, i simply smiled and intended to make my way up the steps. he was attempting to tell me something, i didn't get it...so he started to tap a little clay dish, which upon further review had some HKD bills in it. my initial reaction was that this was an entry fee into the monastery....fair enough i thought, however i was fairly certain it was free to get in. ah well, slapped down a twenty and figured that was it....not quite. he then reaches into his pocket and presents me with a neato beaded bracelet...which isn't my thing really, but whateves. the monk then proceeds to bestow me with what i imagine is a Buddhist blessing, including a little tap on the forehead. cool....all done, let's do this thing....
not so fast. he then starts his tapping routine again, looking for a little extra cash. not to be rude, but i'm not really down with jewelery, and although appreciative of the blessing, not quite sure i'm going to get my money's worth with that one. i shake my head and tap my pockets (even though he's already seen i'm flush), and so i start to forfeit my beads back to the monk....
perhaps he felt my inner good, or perhaps he knew i was a tightwad; either way, he decided to let me keep the 'gift' and likely cursed me out as i walked away.
i decided to re-enact the events for you (which wasn't much of an ordeal, but who wants to read about a straight up monastery hike, right?)

By the way, it loops because i didnt want to have to cut the track, so feel free to cut after the first time round. also, there are subtitles, so get rid of that damn ad at the bottom if you like.

the full album, just in case you're interested.

Lost in Transcription

2011-01-24T19:12:00.011+08:00

i am ScarJo. well, almost ScarJo, minus the boobs and the divorce proceeding....but pretty much I am following in her footsteps from the flick Lost in Translation. let's see - she had a LOT of free time on her hands (like me), she spent her days touring around a foreign city (like me), she hung out with an old actor dude (not yet) and she loved to get her karaoke on.....like i did this weekend.

all this build up to tell you i sang with a bunch of people, perhaps a little unnecessary, but i really did feel like i was lost in translation.

here's a quick rundown of the evening - start with a buffet of traditional Chinese fare - hot pot, and a whole bunch of other things that will remain somewhat of a mystery, but you can't really go wrong with meat & noodles. the group of ~25ish peeps had a private room, which just happened to be stocked with a bunch of 40's of whiskey and a few cases of carlsberg. my kind of karaoke already...and a side note, the drink of choice was whiskey and green tea. didn't know what to make of that as a mix, but it was downright tasty....i recommend if you ever find yourself out of coke...or pretty much any other mix.

yes, there was singing...and aside from not being able to understand the song selection machine as well as any of the selected Cantonese/Mandarin tunes, i still managed to bang out a few bars (proof to follow).

a unique part of the night was learning a few HK drinking games, known as jiuling to the locals. certainly a little different than the one's i used to play as a young man....my 2 faves:

-Finger Guessing: kinda like rock/paper/scissors, but with fingers and numbers....sounds a little juvenile, but actually pretty fun as you add more people into a circle.....a lot of fingers, be careful not to bang as you go.

-Dicing: again, similar to what i imagine Yahtzee to be like, but given i've never played, it follows the same cup & dice setup. players shake their cup, and then based on the numbers showing on your multiple dice, you suggest how many other people have the same numbers on their dice...., trust me it's more fun than it sounds. don't judge me for the games i play.

without any further delay, here is a sample of the sweet melodies from yours truly. it lasts :90, and you'll likely be tempted to stop it after :15...and feel free to do so. a side note - without an iphone, i was left to record this as just an audio track via my ipod. youtube doesn't like audio-only files, so i had to slap on this really crap image of the aforementioned ScarJo and Mr. Bill Murray.
For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.

Quickie for Friday

2011-01-21T17:50:00.005+08:00

a really quick post for Friday, here are 3 things to think about over your lovely weekends: Planes, Products & Poon Choi.

1) Planes - found this little beauty on Travel Zoo for my friends in BC. I urge anyone out there to come for a visit (even if you don't live on the West Coast). I'll even give you a guest writer feature on the Freedom. Book your tickets now....

2) Products - something that i probably don't need to tell you, but will: China is a big deal on the World economy stage. yes, i likely have somewhat of a skewed vision from my current coordinates, but it goes without saying that China is so hot right now. investments in China are seemingly the big thing to talk about, but there is also a push to get Chinese exports out west. it started with Yao Ming, it continues with Li-Ning. can't really comment on the shoes (haven't seen them or worn them), but I think they've done a great job taking the piss out of themselves with this spot -

3) Poon Choi - nothing really to say about this, just thought it was an interesting first offer from my signing up to Groupon Hong Kong. More specifically, the deal was: 50% off for 10-person Poon Choi. what can i say, i love this town!!!

Eat & Drink Asia

2011-01-20T19:18:00.011+08:00

maybe it's because i'm an adman, but each time i visit a new place, i'm fascinated by the different types of products you can buy, especially food & bev. since i'm the shopping bag of the house, i get to call the shots on cool new stuff for the pantry, and take full responsibility for items that explosively miss the mark.

that said, i promise not to take this segment into restaurants and snap every item the waiter puts in front of me.....sorry, I make the rules and I say that is dumb.

first up...a beer from the Philipines named San Miguel. A popular beer in Hong Kong, and it's likely you can get it all over the world> confirmed.

not the point. what i'm getting at isn't about the beer itself so much (although it tastes pretty good)...i'm more interested in the choice of imagery for the can. Somehow, they felt it was necessary to reinforce the idea that this was indeed a beer by placing a bottle of the beer on the can.....call me crazy, but i don't remember any kids throwing back a tall boy of Nestea.

next, I found this little beauty in the freezer section of our local expat grocery story called Taste. now, I have no idea what 90% of the box said for these Meiji treats, so i figured the picture told most of the story...the ingredients told the rest: soda & vanilla flavoured confection. yum. so i ran home, opened the box, and popped one into my mouth. i have to admit i expected some type of soda 'fizz', but it was fairly flaccid in substance.....i did like it though, kind of a creamcicle idea going on.

i know, big deal right, anyone can eat a god damn ice cream bar....grow a pair and eat something that's got some bite...

Hopefully that doesn't require eating a pair, but I'm at your mercy....I'll do anything for you.
XOXO

Hiking irony in Happy Valley

2011-01-19T17:28:00.011+08:00

when we arrived in Hong Kong, we received a bunch of hand-me-down travel guides and reference books for Asia. one of which is - the leisurely hiker's guide to Hong Kong...and given my appointed status as a man of leisure, i decided to get my read on.
flipping through the pages, i came across an entry for Happy Valley, and couldn't help but smile...hooray for happy. i geared up, got myself to the starting point in the next district, and let the guide, well, guide me.

first stop - St Margaret's church....built in 1925, statues of Peter & Paul out front...ok cool enough.

next, Tam Kung temple....ok, now we're talking. burning incense, cool statues....good times.
following the road ahead, it then leads me to a Jewish Cemetery. not exactly "happy", but i take a look and it's definitely a peaceful place.

add in another temple (Hindu edition), then another cemetery (Indian), skip to the Hong Kong cemetery, the 'don't miss' Catholic cemetery and wash it all down with the Muslim cemetery.

what the hell?

i flip back to the beginning of that chapter in the guide, read the finer print a little closer and realize i've just completed the 'celebrating cemeteries hike'.
somehow, i feel cheated.

after all of that, the guide has the audacity to suggest at the end of the trip to grab a drink at the Cosmopolitan Hotel nearby "if you are flagging".
not quite sure what that meant, but according to Urban Dictionary, i'll likely pass on the flagging.

here's the not-so-happy hike in living colour.

Air traffic needs to clear the runway....

2011-01-18T18:15:00.006+08:00

....cause Rich is about to takeoff. I've been holding off on my dream for too long, the time is now. I'm 32 years young, and it's my destiny to be a male model. Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking supermodel kinda status...something maybe 10 badges below that. The truth is, I have no experience, but come on, it's modeling right?
Let me bring you back stage for a second and let you all experience the life of a wannabe male model.

1. First thing that's needed to be a model is a portfolio. Now some will tell you that you need professional glamor shots....to which I say, they are probably right. My approach - sort through all personal photos where I'm giving 'good face' and send those off instead. Crop out anyone that is better looking than I am....(short work).

2. Show up to the casting call about 15 minutes late (model time), and wear sunglasses inside for as long as possible. Basic form to fill out, which asks for measurements....to which I have no f'n idea...and would make fun of anyone who does.

3. Then it's time for some one-on-one with the camera. The assistant working with me may or may not have been a model type....I couldn't tell behind that sexy surgical mask she was wearing. (Side note fact: I'd say about 2% of everyone in HK wears one of these bad boys).

4. Showtime....I give my best blue steel type of look...however, this casting is looking for smiles....and not just subtle smiles, but toothy-ass grins. Not my speciality, but I do my best. "Chin down", "Shoulders straight", "Your other left"....it felt like grade 4 picture day.

And that's that....modeling casting over and done with.
Do I feel good about my chances? It's a tough one.
As much as I am somewhat unique in this market, I'm also perhaps not the right guy to be pimping skin smoothing products or something else that would be best left for someone with a lot less body hair than this guy. My only hope is that there may be something for me in the 'creepy dad/uncle' category. Time will tell.
-----
A final note to address all this model talk and its place in the retired man's rationale. Alas, I must admit, a wise-man told me once that you should never go full retir'd. I promise you this, either way it'll be on my terms.

Here's the obligatory Zoolander clip you've all been scrolling for>

Monday Mail

2011-01-17T17:36:00.007+08:00

as promised, we're going take some time out for a little freedom 32 mail.
here's one from Oakville, Ontario -

"Richard, now that you're 'retired', what is it that you do with your days?"
- A Concerned Parent

Thanks, Concerned.....a great question to lead off this segment.

The first few days were tough I admit, but now I have a solid routine down.

I wake up when the gf gets up for work around 6:30am, but quickly get right back to the business of sleep. I emerge from the cocoon around 9am, check out the morning news with a bowl of fruit & yogurt.....(this is sounding like a big fat fbook update).
cut to the chase - workout, followed by a long shower (sorry power smart fans), and then my afternoons are usually spent exploring the city. i am pretending to be a photographer and usually have my Canon EOS DIGITAL REBEL XT at the ready. i've found a pretty sweet park in Central, that offers some weekday serenity as well as free wifi. trip to the expat grocery store and then home to cook/pretend to cook dinner.
oh yes, how could i forget, i'm also very excited to be doing a load of laundry everyday. all this makes Rich a kept man...and I'm fairly happy about the whole thing.
that said, my goal is truly to experience as much of this place as possible and would love nothing more than to mix up the aforementioned routine as often as possible.
alright, great question to start us off....would love a real one so we can keep this segment on the air though.

sneak preview for tomorrow - one word: Hansel

Weekend Warriors

2011-01-15T12:14:00.004+08:00

TGIF folks...., am I right? 2 weeks in and really starting to hit my groove in this little city of mine. I appreciate all the love and encouragement thus far with my diary...err...blog posts. I'm going to take a little breather over the weekend, but join me on Monday for my weekly segment of Rich's Male,where I take the tough questions and let you all in to experience the full me.

in the meantime, I'd like to acknowledge the fact that this blog isn't super pretty....i'll work on that.

also, 'live tweeting' has been suggested and certainly would bring my broadcast medium closer to 2011....; unfortunately, I don't have a phone, so am bound by the various wifi zones around town to whip out my iPod and tweet tweet away....but a good idea regardless.

ideally, i wouldn't force people to leave their precious FBook to read Freedom 32....and will try to never go further than 2 degrees of separation from the book.

with that, I'll leave you with a few of my early snaps from around HK....

redirecting back to FB now...and breathe> http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=601198&id=555555575

hey, how's about a little on Hong Kong - vol. 1

2011-01-13T22:26:00.001+08:00

One of the greatest things about moving to a new city is the opportunity to explore it. My calendar, as previously discussed, appears to be fairly wide-open, and with that, I expect that I should be able to give tours of this town by the 4-month mark.

For anyone that hasn't been to Hong Kong, I offer a few high-level tidbits:

1) Hong Kong is one of China's special adminstrative regions (or SARs for short)....hmm....

2) the currency here is Hong Kong Dollars, and a Canadian dollar is worth about 8 HKD's.

3) feel free to check out wikipedia for the rest - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hong_Kong

Hong Kong is an amazingly dense city, with skyscrapers sprawling out of the ground similar to Manhatten. The cool thing that I've noticed though is that when you get down to the street level, most of the time you forget about the 'big city' around you, and in its place is a local market type of atmosphere.

Before arriving, I really had a sense that I would stand out and was told on a number of occassions that I would be a giant. Thus far, I can report that people could pretty much care less about me....so my hopes of becoming a pseudo celebrity have so far proven errouneous. I will keep trying though.

In my first weeks here, I've been trying to play a game I like to call 'get lost', where I randomly set out on a route without a map or GPS device.

It's fun for hours, I recommend to anyone without a day job, or a night job for that matter.

Anyway, I've learned quickly that HK isn't set up so much in a grid (like TO or NYC), and more often then not, the best way to get from A to B isn't by traveling at the street level, it's all about getting above the city by the elevated connecting walkways, with plenty of escalators to help on the ups and downs. So far, I'm happy to say that I've been able to make my way back to the flat in one piece every time.

Finally, I must admit I have yet to pick up any Cantonese, I haven't sampled any yuanyang and haven't taken in the nightly light show...figure I have another 720 nights to see it. I promise though, I will do my best to continue to provide you all with a digital take on a city that never sleeps.

Me on the other hand, I'm getting a solid 10 hours currently....oh retirement....

Here's a view from my new sofa office.

Local Canadian man retires at 32!

2011-01-12T14:07:00.004+08:00

No, there is no need for a fact check. The story's title is correct. A simple scan of his passport confirms that Rich Morgan is indeed 32....and a quick scan of his wallet also confirms that he is unemployed, or as he quickly corrects - 'retired'.

Let's backup for a second to 2 months ago to where this all started. Add one job offer and one opportunistic gf mixed with a splash of Asia and there was only one resolution - retirement. Rich promptly concluded his tenure at a Vancouver ad agency, received his gold plated watch (iTunes gift card), and packed his bags for Hong Kong.

Enter Freedom 32, a chronicle of the misadventures of a bright-eyed retiree, looking for good time/long time, be it the nearest happy hour or early-bird special. Join Rich on this journey...or don't...up to you.

Of course, since this story is also a Facebook entry, it would not be complete with a real time status update:

Rich is off to make a sandwich.

(no confirmation on what kind of sandwich, but we really hope it's on a cheese bun)

Stay tuned, folks.

Me vs. Aeroplan, Part 2

2010-02-09T02:47:00.000+08:00

fans, (or family)
i would love to report back today that Aeroplan has caught wind of my social bitching and are on their hands & knees asking me to accept them back into the travel rewards fold. i would also love to report that they have given me a free flight anywhere in the confines of continental North America as their way of saying 'sorry'.
sadly, i report that nothing has changed.
so, i continue on.

Chapter 2 - Houston, we have some pretzels
On the morning of January 8, my partner (so many meanings) and I arrived at YVR soon after 6am, to catch our 8am flight to IAH. Upon check-in with Star Alliance partner Continental, it was communicated to us that we were booked on the initial trip leg to Houston, however, were then alarmed to discover that we had not been properly booked on the Houston-Dallas leg of the trip. According to the counter rep, Aeroplan had not properly confirmed the final leg of our trip with Continental.

After 20 minutes of discussions at the desk, we were told the best that they could do is book us on that final leg as 'standby', but there was no guarantee that we would be able to get on this flight. In fact, we were told that all flights were showing fully booked until January 10!!!
Given our travel plans were for Dallas, not Houston, we were extremely concerned as to how we would be getting to Dallas, if at all.

The 'Situation' - critical for one loyal Cowgirl and her football team

Needing to proceed through security, it was decided our only option would be to call Aeroplan from the security check-in/gate to determine what could be done. At this point, I was now discussing our predicament with an Aeroplan rep named Anne. Anne was almost as surprised as we were, and could not really pinpoint the issue for us. In her words, this was a 'one in a million' situation, where the Aeroplan system seemed to have us booked properly, and yet, the Continental system did not.

After spending close to 45 minutes on my blackberry with Anne, the outcome was this: we were still not confirmed on the Dallas flight, however, she felt that there was a chance we could get on with our standby status.

Upon arrival in Houston, we immediately proceeded to the appropriate DAL gate, as there was a very small time window to make our connection. We confirmed our standby status with the IAH Continental rep, and waited patiently while others boarded the plane. Finally, with everyone else on board, we were told that indeed there was room for us on this flight and our journey continued to Dallas.

The Question - so what's the big dealiyo?

Overall, I am frustrated with the entire experience, and feel let down by the entire level of customer service (short of Anne). I can certainly understand that issues arise with online booking and errors sometimes cannot be avoided. However, I would advise that in the future, customer service policy takes into account these errors when users are forced to call the helpline to book travel. There is no question that any type of 'fees' should be waived from the outset.

What I'm still having trouble understanding is how affiliated companies such as Aeroplan/Air Canada/Continental cannot be on the same page in terms of booking flights for their members. I feel that this whole experience has tainted my years of loyalty and miles collection, for a reward that was far less than what I had expected. Ultimately, I would really appreciate to hear from someone at Aeroplan, to discuss these concerns further, and to perhaps look at ways to mend this extremely poorly handled situation.

***Note that the content of these 2 riveting Chapters was from a message I originally submitted via the online feedback form at aeroplan.com. Unfortunately, I must report that the level of customer service was super shit on the response to this. I received an email response to my submission that stated:

‘Thank you for your e-mail.
Due to circumstances beyond our control, we are currently unable to respond to your request electronically.’

2 weeks ago, I sent the contents of the email (& now Bloggy) to the Aeroplan offices in Vancouver.
As reported, I have heard nothing to date.
The trip ordeal is long gone, but my personal vendetta is far from over.....

TO BE CONTINUED....?

Me vs. Aeroplan, Part 1

2010-02-06T12:57:00.001+08:00

so, it has come to this.
i gave them a chance to make amends. i reached out to them via 3 separate channels.
i have given them ample time to come back to me and explain themselves.
they have done nothing. not a call, not an email, not even a poke for fuck sake.
you would think that in these, the digital days, where social media is #sohotrightnow, a company wouldn't dare disappoint for fear of complete social persecution.
nothing....
unfortunately, Aeroplan hasn't packed their bags on the interweb express just yet.
they don't even have a god damn Facebook fan page!! i mean, who doesn't have one of these things....how can they expect to stay relevant..??
could it be that they already know they offer a substandard service and are limiting the avenues for the masses to shout them down...?

whatever it is, one thing is for sure - Aeroplan is now dead to me.
here's why...

Chapter 1 - Online Booking for Dummies

I booked 2 tickets from YVR-DAL (via Houston) using my Aeroplan reward miles that I had been collecting since the inception of my membership.
Translation - I've been saving these points since I was a little kid, you dicks.

What appeared to be a simple online booking resulted in an extremely poor user experience. The aeroplan.com interface allowed me to select flights, complete all required information fields & credit card data up to the point of confirmation, only to then serve me with a system error and the inability to complete my booking....
Verdict - Shitty programmers

After attempting to resolve this several times on my own, I finally decided to contact Aeroplan web support via phone. The issue, which appeared to stem from a tight connecting flight on the return leg of the trip, was resolved, albeit after 45 minutes of discussion and holding on the phone.
I was shocked to then learn that for my troubles, I was being asked to pay $30/ticket for the service resolution. This was entirely unacceptable to me and my dissatisfaction was voiced to my customer service rep. This resulted in the rep connecting with her manager, and I was told that the charges would be reversed.
Result - Score 1 for me, suck it customer service.

As it stood, my booking frustrations were somewhat lifted, as all travel plans appeared to be booked and I started looking forward to my the next day.
Sadly, this was not the end of my ordeal....

TO BE CONTINUED.....

the power of Craigslist

2009-10-27T12:12:00.000+08:00

people will apparently buy anything..., and i love it!

------
Dynex IEEE 1394 Firewire Notebook Card - $5 (Vancouver)
Date: 2009-10-23, 9:50PM PDT
Reply to: sale-arvgm-1435304286@craigslist.org

so hot right now...

Technical Details
* Adds 2 external IEEE 1394 (FireWire) ports to a notebook computer
* 400 Mbps maximum data transfer rate
* Connects drives, digital cameras, printers and other peripherals
------

i swear, within 12 hours of this posting, i had someone dieing to get their hands on it...

------
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY ** Avoid: wiring mo...

Oct 25 (1 day ago)
cindy s to sale-arvgm-143.

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

Hi,
is this still available?

thank you
Cindy
------

well..., fear not folks, Cindy got her Dynex Firewire ports...
and i got me my 5 bucks!

another magic connection, courtesy of Craigslist....
not just for pre-med psycho killer fuckwads.

Introducing SkateCase!

2009-10-22T07:12:00.001+08:00

(shameless plug to follow)

Freedom 35 fans (all 3 of you)...
My brother & I are trying to get a new product passed through a community site called Quirky.
it's called SkateCase, and hoping to get it approved for actual production!

if you're at all interested in voting, that would be awesome!

steps to vote -
1) go to Quirky - http://www.quirky.com/?r=48b16b40803ab26df3f5d9cdd3c39b81

2) you'll need to register, takes 2 secs - http://www.quirky.com/signup
*you'll even get $20 credit for the site.

3) once registered, you just need to go to the Product Evaluation section - http://www.quirky.com/projects/116
and look for SkateCase! (the 5th product down the page).
the voting/ranking is just a little widget on the RH side...

that's it!
no sweat if you don't have time and/or don't like SkateCase...

SkateCase - Walk your dog, Skate your bag!

It's always sunny in Vancouver

2009-10-21T05:17:00.001+08:00

sorta

Quirky, the idea I always never had

2009-09-22T04:55:00.000+08:00

why didn't I think of this...?
well, actually I sorta did...
i do recall suggesting to a close group of friends a year or 2 back that it would be 'cool' to have an online think tank set up, for people to discuss cool ideas and use each other's network/connections to see ideas turn into reality.

enter Quirky.
brilliant idea for dreamers, just like me, who have cool ideas in theory but never seem to do anything to take them to the next level....
i.e. tell another human being about them.

here's hoping i've got the next pet rock up my ass...sleeve..., wherever i can find it....

trippin' on catnip

2009-09-20T11:49:00.000+08:00

i don't know whether I should consider myself a liberal parent, or simply a euphoria enabler...
catnip, essentially pot for kitties, is seemingly a safe and widely accepted lil' treat for our furry friends. and yet like pot, it doesn't seem to affect every man/woman/child/kitty the same way.
as i type this, my cat is tripping out and trying to find the techno-colour ghost mouse under the fridge....; this after rolling around violently on the floor and scratching his pusher (me) and leaving a few deep scars (physically, and perhaps mentally).
i feel like i'm treating little romo like he's a science experiment, chronicling his every spacey move.
i do question whether or not i should keep supplying him with the good stuff...
it definitely does seem to keep him quiet (of course he needs to be quiet to catch the techno-colour ghost mouse), and the fact that a few sprinkles is all it takes and I have a baggy that will last him til he's geriatric leads me to think that it'll continue to be high-times in catville for a while yet.
fyi - here's what happened last time mr. romo licked the nip....

i'm guessing the mustard was for a 3some with a hot dog...
LOL fuckers.

Scream if you know what I did this summer....

2009-09-15T23:28:00.000+08:00

Actually, I think I've got the scream covered just fine....

americans are about to get even fatter....

2009-08-29T12:06:00.000+08:00

Fox News + KFC Double Down = Apocalypse Now....

Play Ball.../Why can I not create a table properly in HTML??

2009-07-17T13:09:00.000+08:00

Games Played	AB	Hits	Runs	2B	HR	RBI	AVG
11	46	16	11	1	2	9	.347

My 2009 Regular Season Stats Vancouver Area Softball League....
Get ready for the playoffs kids...
Playoffs?
Yes, I'm talking about Playoffs.

a sad day that could have been even sadder...

2009-06-26T10:56:00.000+08:00

http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/2009/06/25/9938211-wenn-story.html

Steve Guttenburg - wherever you are, be careful...

Dream Diary - Chapter 1

2009-05-09T14:24:00.000+08:00

dear diary,
funny thing - i've been having a recurring dream lately, where yours truly is drinking & driving and very conscious of the fact that i shouldn't be behind the wheel...
it usually ends with me swerving like a jackass in front of a cop, or smashing into someone.
it's a bit odd, given i don't get drunk all that often any more, and i technically don't own a car.

so, diary, i ask why?
no response.

ok, let's try Yahoo Answers then.
here we go, perfect:

Drunk driving dreams?
I have recurring dreams where I am drunk driving and get pulled over, or crash. I've never driven drunk in my life.

ooh, great, now serve up some answers, Yahoo, and we'll call it a night....

Answerer 1
Remember its just a dream.
well, that's a shit answer.

Answerer 2
Are you doing something that you are trying to hide from others? It almost sounds like you put on one face for the public but have a private life that is full of dark secrets.
yah...., right....., (embarrassed)..., of course not..
dark secrets, please.
what a shit answer.., next.

Answerer 3
its a sign...your an alchoholic...
so stop drinkin so much child
shit answer, dr. phil.

Answerer 4
ok, your nerviouse, and embaressed. mabey you did something that would upset your parents, or teacher, porfesser, docter, friend, any one, or mabey embarrased to tell some one something. I am.
wow, seems like a solid dude.
note to self - add this guy to facebook....and lend him a dictionary for GOD's sake.

unfortunately, not even the mighty Hoo! can help a brother out with this one.
i suppose all i can do is keep it under 50..., and let the good times roll.....

to the guy i called 'asshole' earlier this evening...

2009-05-02T15:10:00.000+08:00

sorry...
probably uncalled for and I admit that I overreacted.
perhaps you weren't judging us as you peered across your steering wheel...
it was just the way your face was trying to scream at us 'hey fuckheads, it's a 1-way street'.
and then it was the way, in my opinion, that you smugly cracked your neck and told us frankly 'it's 1-way'.
i'm not sure why my natural reaction was to respond with the 'no it's not, asshole'....

maybe it's because people who think they're right, and feel they need to tell people they're right, and enjoy the fact that they've told people that they are right, ARE in fact assholes.
or cocks, take your pick.

the result of all this - we were right, it was a 2-way street.
and I lied...
i'm not sorry I called this guy an asshole.
I rush to judgment, and I know good people when I see them, and I know assholes when I see them.
and cocks, I see lots of those...

wait a second....

my gf cried over Celebrity Apprentice....

2009-04-12T16:35:00.000+08:00

hold on....
way a second...
are you fuckn kidding me?

no friends, this isn't a joke.
let me take you back to the scene of the whine....
it was a cold, wet Saturday evening.
take out sushi and PVR as foreplay to a boozy night.
our main feature for your fave couple - The Donald Trump Show (aka Celeb Apprentice).....

now, quick footnote - we were watching a show that had aired 2 weeks ago.
as such, the outcome of the show was known with the underlying issue for the dismissal quite apparent as well.

nevermind.

we watched the show.
Dennis 'cranberry vodka' (sorry hon) Rodman was the cause for niagara falls.
The former bad man of the NBA, had finally done enough personal damage to be relieved of his apprenticeship duties, by literally drinking himself into a pink slip (and no, I don't mean his queen gear)...

the final scenes of the 'show' were filled with tough love, reality style, as Dennis' celeb pals outted his boozy behaviour to the rest of the cast....

maybe i'm being too harsh, but I just can't get upset for something as faux dramatic as a celeb party animal going into rehab.
that's just the way it is.
it's called the Lohan factor - once bitten, twice high.

does that make me a bad person?
perhaps.
does that make my gf a true saint?
of course ;)
it also may mean that reality TV is the devil.

(this may also also mean that i'll be on the couch tonight).

there you have it kids.... another great reason for less tube and more boob.
feel me.

Team Morgan

2009-03-30T01:20:00.000+08:00

Starring in: Jammin' in Jamaica

It started with separate flights from the Great White North....
It ended with some dumb-ass t-shirts as parting gifts...
As for that part in the middle.....?
Well.., it was a trip for the ages.

Let's take us back to where this thing began.....
The fab-3 from Toronto got the vacation started, with an earlier and shorter flight down the coast.
Shortly behind them were the duo out of Vancouver; rearing to go, albeit facing the 7-hour flight on one of Air Canada's old school fleet.

A nice treat awaited us all on landing, an arrival lounge the 'Sandals-way', serving us our first (and certainly not last) frosty Red Stripes.
Jubilation and relaxation soon would turn to trepidation and perspiration unfortunately, as our final destination was a bumpy and bouncy 90 minutes away.
That's the bad news...
Fortunately, the good news and good times began immediately once we could see the sign from the front window of the fun bus -

Sandals Whitehouse - Welcome to Paradise....

I think it's safe to say that we were all very eager to sprint through the front doors as soon as we could.
From there, the theme and word of the week would be soon uttered....that of course being 'YES!'.
'A welcome cocktail, guys?' Yes.
'Another appetizer, sir?' Yes.
'2 scoops, ma'am?' Hell YES.

Day (Evening) 1 - Synchronize your clocks
Due to the differing travel schedules, and equally long days, the Team split up for the inaugural meal. One thing was certain though...., the Team was here...together.
And that's all that really would matter this night and for the rest of the week.

Day 2 - Which way to the beach....?
There's nothing quite like that first day of a vacation....
Everyone's all bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and whiter than Casper.
Another theme would soon emerge that would last all week -
'First one up gets the Team some chairs'.
Unfortunately, the Vancouver contingent were never able to participate in this goodwill activity.
Tennis was the excuse given....: -5 spirit points.

The first day is no doubt always the most exciting:

Bars a plenty, restaurants of all sorts.
'More anything? More everything!'.

The rational outlook should be that we all have a full week ahead, no need to overindulge....
Of course, rational and Jamaica don't have any place hanging out with one another.
The result - everyone at the table gets an appetizer for lunch.
Everyone also needs a drink in hand at all times.
Let the good times roll, people.....

The night concluded with a little Italian, some wine, and the team uniforms were distributed..., the VanCity crew trying to salvage some of those spirit points lost earlier in the day.

Day 3 - Grey sky's gonna clear up?
If there was ever anything negative to say about the vacation, it would have to be those damn puffy white things called clouds.
Day 3 was certainly the only day where those things got in the way.
A fairly overcast 9-5 session be had..., but don't forget kids - UV is still gonna getcha....
A few 'lobstered' bits and pieces....: -10 Banana Boat points.

Day 4 - Put on a happy face....
Was there ever any doubt?
This is Jamaica, mon; the sun is always shining....and it came back for us all in full force.

Day 5 - See Day 4
add-in 1 prize-winning Team member..., and just as quickly, subtract 2 shitty prizes.
ho-hum, I suppose this guy decided that his real prize would be taken out on the 11 o'clock Chocolate-fest....
(note to Pardy - there's no real winner for those who consume 8 bonbons in 60 seconds flat).

Day 6 - See Day 4
add-in a quick jaunt out to the deeper blue stuff for some snorkeling.

Day 7 - See Fun... Sea Fun
Nark with some waterskiing....judges score it an 8 out of 10.
As well, the Team faced off with some hobie cat'n, and are still looking for the wind.
One final night at ye ol' Martini bar, and we once again go to bed with a smile on.

Day 8 - Leaving on a jet plane
Sadly, our run on Jamaica had to come to an end at some point.
The Team says a final goodbye, stuff as much 'all-inclusive' they can into their carry-on, and hop back on the fun bus.
-------------

This was truly an amazing trip, and something that we've all wanted for so many reasons.....we will all certainly never forget it.
Big thanks again go out to Big D and the Captain....
Until we meet again in the sequel, 'Smilin' in St. Lucia'.....
Team Morgan 1, Everyone else 0.

:)
p.s. just for you, Nark - BRRAH

when you drink and blog....

2009-03-11T12:09:00.001+08:00

..things happen...
case in point - a blog about a guy named Coolio.
it seemed like a good idea at the time - a washed up rapper getting busted for crack possession...
who wouldn't want to jump all over that?

well, i was wrong...
there's nothing funny about a guy with a drug problem.
nothing at all.

i must say though that i am quite happy to see that he's still rockin the spider fro...
that's sure to stay legit as a spider comb-over as well...

stay out of trouble young man, and we'll see you on Dancing with the Stars cycle 9 very soon!!

coolio did some of that shit....

2009-03-07T18:28:00.000+08:00

indeed he did
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20263764,00.html

crack cocaine eh...
nothing like the hard stuff for one of the greatest one hit wonder rappers of all time...
'an airport ain't shit..., i can take whatever i want on the big airbus....'
'gotta have my crack, wherever i travel...'
the ol' 'crackberry' seems a bit weak at this very moment, doesn't it....

i feel this is totally warranted though; Coolio has had an easy past decade, after releasing such a shitty hit as 'Gangstas Paradise'...
any mention of a name like 'Coolio' as well should send shivers down your back, as the ridiculousness of the mid 90's all comes back with a vengeance...

fuck Coolio and fuck your crack.
i really hate to trip, but I gotta loke...
catch you on the flipside, you cool_mother_fucker_io....

peace

We Are Bathurst

2009-02-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

the script pretty much writes itself -

A remarkable rebound

Intense emotions ran close to the surface as the Bathurst High School Phantoms, coming back from a horrific van crash last year that devastated the team and the town, claimed the New Brunswick championships Saturday.....
The team won 26 straight times leading up to Saturday's match against the Campobello Vikings....
Their opponents refused to roll over, but the Phantoms ran away victorious by a final score of 82-50.

Truly amazing for any team to overcome such a devastating obstacle of losing half of their players....
Whether it was simply 'destiny', or whether the school just had a lot of good basketball players who previously couldn't be bothered to play hoops, it's a great story....one that I'm sure CBC is coveting to enrich their already stellar summer lineup, with the likes of Being Erica or Heartland.
(note to CBC - get your asses rolling on this movie pronto...)

PM Harper, no doubt meaning well, comes off a little stiff, somewhat like a handshake for a 6yr old on his first day of class.
...the teenagers had “shown remarkable strength and determination in the face of adversity” and that the victory had “given all Canadians a reason to cheer.”

sounds a little Rocky-esque, but it'll work Steve.

nice rack...

2009-02-20T08:24:00.000+08:00

kids, don't try this at home...
animal mascots..., pretty much par for the course isn't it...,you goofy bastards.
enjoy!

sweet tooth bites back

2009-02-11T04:06:00.000+08:00

Girl starves to death after dentist pulls all her teeth

LONDON - Eight-year-old Sophie Waller cracked a baby tooth eating candy, and set off the chain of events that led to her death.
Sophie refused to open her mouth for a dentist so doctors at her local hospital took out the tooth in an operation, one of the doctors told a coroner's inquest. They removed all seven of her other baby teeth at the same time to avoid the need for future operations, the doctor said....
...After the surgery Sophie refused to eat or even open her mouth for her parents, the couple told the inquest. But she was sent home anyway, and starved to death three weeks after the operation.
...The parents said the hospital mishandled Sophie's follow-up care...

come on...
are you kidding me...?
2 things wrong with this.

#1 - the kid
apparently missy did not like opening her mouth except for eating jawbreakers.
so what happens - she chips a tooth, and decides that that is it - no more talking, no more candy. case/mouth closed.
apparently they had to put her to sleep to open up that trap and take out the broken tooth. Now, I must admit it's a bit odd they decided to extract every other tooth from her mouth....but i assume they figured that it would save them from seeing her another 6 times. No word on the quid she would have pulled down from the tooth fairy.

#2 - the parents
i'm not a parent, but i would imagine that most families probably spend meal time together. a child who refuses to open their mouth, probably will not get much of the 4 food groups through his or her nose.
maybe some thin veggies....
apparently the kid would 'suck on a watermelon'..., because of course the watermelon is one of the heartier fruits.
either the parents should have forced the little angel's mouth open, or take her back to the hospital for an IV.

time for me to eat lunch, perhaps it's best i get something that melts in my mouth, karma is a biyatch....

to live and die in LA...

2009-02-04T12:37:00.000+08:00

...but for now, i'll take 4 days of California love...
yes, i'm stealing this intro from my boy Tupac, but he definitely knew what he was talking about...i'm now hooked on LA.

now, i'm not going to pretend that there isn't a huge influx of douchery in certain parts of the city....cause there is - see 90210, the new class.
yet, any place where it's 25 degrees and sunny in January is ok by me.

so, for all you economy class heroes, looking to fire it up big playa styles in lala land, look no further than these few tips:

*scour your way through expedia, priceline etc. for the best deals you can find. cross reference hotels on trip advisor & US magazine.
result> Hotel Roosevelt in Hollywood, playa.

oh, did I mention who we shared an elevator with - ms. i kissed a girl, katy perry.

*priceline yourself a phat ride and hope that Hertz hooks you up...
result> Nissan 350z, playa.
oh, did I mention who we rolled up on in Malibu..., mr. hills himself, Justin Bobby...(who?)

*treat yourself to some awesome sushi at Nobu, or even better Katsuya...
result> black cod miso, playa.
oh did i mention who was there, none other than mr. hair himself, Chad from Million Dollar Listing.

*you want some behind the scenes action? get yourself on a closed set for a live show taping.
result> hangin' with the Newman's in Genoa City, playa...(Y&R, if you don't watch soaps).
oh did i mention we hung out with a bunch of soap actors?? (crickets...)

alas, the dream trip couldn't last forever.
we're back in the great white (fkn cold) north again.
just waiting for that big break to bring me back to the 323...

there's always the porn fluffer route, playa...

the afterglow is gone...

2009-01-29T04:43:00.000+08:00

i'm not sure whether to laugh..., or to cry...laughing over the audacity of a brewing situation in the Buckeye state.

After suspension for nodding at Obama, drum major quits

(CNN) -- An Ohio man who was suspended as the drum major of a band for giving President Obama a nod during last week's inaugural parade is calling it quits.
...John Coleman was seen during the nationally televised January 20 parade nodding toward the new president while marching with the band. A few steps later, he appeared to wave briefly.
...as the band was marching past the grandstand where Obama was sitting, he made eye contact with the president.
"Contact was made with our eyes both together and he smiled and waved at the band," he told the station. "And just as a gesture, I nodded my head. I gave him a slight wave and went on."

aww, sounds romantic to me..., not cause to break up the band!
apparently, Coleman broke rank and military code by giving the new Prez a 'what's up'...
even though the bandmates had strictly forbidden any communication gestures while drumming their hearts out, the man is a fireman, not a private in the army.
i would imagine it's natural to get a little excited during such a festivity. these guys, i assume, are usually spending their days in burning buildings, and perhaps the odd kitty saving adventure in a tree.

"The 'afterglow' of participating in the inaugural parade is gone..."

i'm with you John, my afterglow has fizzled...
the drums go silent.

the life & times of me

2009-01-22T01:07:00.000+08:00

Tim is in his mid-20's and has a nondescript job at a huge corporation. Not much is expected of him, but he still manages to screw things up. If there's a birthday party, he gets caught not singing. If there's a presentation, he's accused of stealing someone's idea. Sometimes he's guilty but usually not, he just somehow gets into extremely awkward situations. The conflict in his life is always cranked up to 10.

This may not exactly fit me to a tee (I don't mind singing, especially after a few drinks)...but apparently it's close enough to have captured the essence of me in cartoon form.
I give you "The Life & Times of Tim".
Truth be told, I haven't actually watched an episode (HBO would mean an extra few $$'s, not on my watch)....
and yet I was compelled to YouTube a few segments after several friends broke the news...
"It's you..." & "That's exactly the shit you say..."

Now I'll admit there is somewhat of a resemblance happening...which doesn't say much for my modeling career. Another case of the average looking white dude, so easily captured in basic pencil scribble.

I will let the reader (yes all 2 of you) be the judge....

[insert caulk joke here]

2009-01-12T14:57:00.000+08:00

even though my gf won't believe me, i stand by my claim that it was an honest mistake...
let me back up for a sec....

i'm no DIY guy, that's for sure, but when you own your own place you need to start doing little things around the house....for fear of living in a shit hole (or the fear of a less-than pleased roomie).
so, one of those little projects just happens to be sealing a tub...
a very exciting activity i might add.
as such, there is a certain product out there meant for that job.
next stop: home hardware.
what transpired next.... pure and unintentional comedic genius.

guy working in home hardeware: "can I help you?"
me: "uhh, yeah, we're looking for some caulk...."
guy working in home hardware: "you've cum to the right place..."

ok, that last line wasn't actually part of the conversation.
instead, i got a jab to the ribs and was promptly corrected in that we were looking for 'caulking' not 'caulk'.

i personally still think that i'm right..., and that 'caulking' is the action of laying down 'caulk'....and therefore you'd still need to find 'caulk' first.
speaking of laying down caulk....
[jab to ribs, cpu unexpectedly shutdown.....]

A similar honest mistake... :)
(sorry for the commercial, clip wasn't on the 'Tube)

check yourself before you wreck yourself...

2009-01-09T13:10:00.000+08:00

...and your vocabulary...

2 things that I am going to refrain from uttering in 2009:

1) you know
do me a favour, the next time you're listening intently to someone speak, count in your head how many times he or she throws in 'you know' as a way to get from one sentence to another...
you know?
even while I type this, I've counted Kate Winslet throwing this down 3 times on Letterman.
have fun with it, try not to let it drive you batty...
*footnote: it is still acceptable to use 'you know' when combined with "what i'm sayin'"

2) it is what it is
i actually used to really like this one..., almost up there with 'jump the shark'.
but really, think about it...
it is the most meaningless shit you could spew out of your mouth.
it's simply an excuse of a phrase when you can't think of anything else to say.
you may as well just shrug your shoulders and throw a stupid ass smirk on your face.
just like this guy...

what do you get....

2009-01-08T14:27:00.000+08:00

....when you mix a Newfie, a drive-thru, and a coffee?
apparently the double double apocalypse...

too many cars are waiting in drive thru lines, which is forcing cars....wait for it...onto the streets to wait for their coffee!!
only us Canadians can get so worked up over a little 10-car traffic jam.
i must admit i read the headline and figured there was something significantly wrong happening at Timmy Ho's....
the mayor of St.John's, Dennis O'Keefe, indeed feels that there is....
he has just helped pass legislature outlawing any further drive-thru establishments until this critical problem has been resolved.

"We have had incidents where fender benders have resulted," O'Keefe said in an interview Tuesday. "Inevitably . . . something tragic is going to happen if it's allowed to continue."

when asked to comment on the new city-wide drive thru ban, Ronald McDonald had a message for Mayor O'Keefe: "I think Suge Knight said it best....you dead, bitch".

Worst headine of 2009

2009-01-06T13:28:00.000+08:00

it's early, but this may have legs for the next 360....

Israel rejects calls for ceasefire
--Won't stop until peace achieved

new year's ressie #1

2009-01-03T05:08:00.000+08:00

'tis the season to make the internet

2008-12-21T08:08:00.000+08:00

it's always nice to feel that something you do at work actually helps someone out..
i find that is sometimes a bit of a stretch when you work in the world of advertising, usually trying to stuff something down ye consumer's throat (or pants if you work for a porn site).
i'm proud to say that i actually feel like a project we worked on is giving back a little.

http://wwe5.bchydro.com/2008holiday/

nothing super crazy about this site, fairly simple execution, but fun enough to play with a few times... or so you'd think.
this site has been going for about a week and a half, and it's had (as of 4:14pm PST on Dec 20) 531,665 'interactions'.
pretty incredible really.
and the best part is that BC Hydro has committed to donate $25 grand to a local BC Children's hospital.

makes ya feel all warm inside....
oops, sorry, that's copy for the porn site i'm working on next.
xoxo

From Russia with Roulette

2008-12-11T00:53:00.000+08:00

i like to party...., and i'd try anything once....(well, maybe not everything).
but there are certain things that just don't tempt me.
never been a big fan of pain, so put the whips and chains away, honey.
never really understood the whole autoerotic asphyxiation scene...., (see Michael Hutchence for that shiz).
and, quite frankly, i don't 'get off' with the thought of potentially 'offing' myself....unlike Mark Ruffalo's brother.
who?
Mark Ruffalo, you know the guy.., in those movies... - "Zodiac," "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," and this year's "Blindness."
well, Mark's bro, let's call him The Zohan, was into the whole gun play scene...
after a 'friend' of his was charged with shooting him, it became apparent today that it was all just one big misunderstanding:

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - A day after actor Mark Ruffalo's brother died of a gunshot wound to the head, a lawyer for the woman arrested in the case says she was merely a witness to a game of Russian Roulette.
Scott Ruffalo, 39, died late Monday night at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, Beverly Hills Police Sgt. Renato Moreno said.
Authorities continued Tuesday to investigate the role of Shaha Mishaal Adham, 26, who turned herself in to police Monday after authorities issued a warrant for her arrest for investigation of attempted murder.
Adham's initial court appearance was scheduled for Wednesday.
Her attorney downplayed her role late Tuesday, telling the New York Daily News that she witnessed Scott Ruffalo shoot himself during a game of Russian Roulette. Ronald Richards told the newspaper that Adham had gone to Scott Ruffalo's condo to pick up a set of keys and fled after the shooting.

I'd always thought that 'Russian Roulette' was simply a myth you hear in high school, like teachers having sex with students, and band geeks running the school...
apparently i was wrong.

so kids, if i can give you any advice at all....
put down those guns and start nailing your teachers!!
i can't wait to be a father.....

WalMart 'til the day I die....

2008-11-29T01:46:00.000+08:00

there are so many things wrong with this story....

VALLEY STREAM (WABC) -- A Wal-Mart employee died and four others were hurt in the Black Friday rush to get into the Valley Stream store this morning.

The injuries occurred as the shoppers crammed into the Wal-Mart when the doors opened at 5 a.m.

Police said the shoppers knocked the man to the ground at 5:03 a.m., three minutes after the store opened.

A 34-year-old Wal-Mart employee suffered an apparent heart attack and was rushed to a nearby hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

First off, and not to be a dick, but does "Black Friday" really make that much of a difference on the prices at WalMart? Isn't this the same place which claims 'the lowest price is the law'??
Or maybe that is Zellers...
Either way, I am astonished that such a mass crowd of people would even think about lining up for a store like WalMart..., unless of course they had a clown making balloon animals or something...

Also, why the rush people? Was there a limited edition sweater-set combo available for the fastest 100 people through the turnstiles?
According to the reports, the doors opened at 5am, and the deceased was knocked down at 5:03am....
It seems a little sketchy to me, almost as if this was a targeted attack..., cause of course we need to have a conspiracy theory attached.

Finally, and albeit sadly, how does a 34-yr old man, that gets knocked down, die of a heart attack?
I could see someone crushed or smothered, but a heart attack?
Guessing the gentleman wasn't in the best of shape, or perhaps all that darned excitement was just too much.

Another reason, if you needed one, to avoid working at WalMart.

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how rude....

2008-11-23T04:04:00.000+08:00

'how rude'...., how's about how is this news?!
shame on media sites for picking this up, and especially Canoe for its choice of running this as a feature off its homepage....

if i were reporting on this -

...and finally, in the who gives a shit news, looks like psuedo-celeb from 1990 Jodie Sweetin will be starring in a new show called "Empty House" after her rock solid 16-month marriage ended this past week.
for the former child um, star, this is now her 2nd breakup in as many years, after kicking a nasty little meth addiction.....kids these days.
i can only imagine how her life could have been different if only she had a twin, and of course some talent.
Speaking of which.....

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen walk into a bar.
they say to the bartender "give us two ass hurts"
the bartender says "how do you make an ass hurt?"
the Olsen twins say "well, Bob Saget hands you a chocolate milk that he just made, and you wake up 3 hours later, lying on your stomach...."

i'm here all week :)

a dog named cat stevens

2008-11-12T13:10:00.000+08:00

gooood mooorning viet...
meh..too easy.....
yes folks, here I am, reporting from sunny Vietnam...
it's apparent I'm not at the beach, as I blog it, waiting for a ride to the airport back to Saigon...(Ho Chi Minh City, if you're down)...
i won't bore you with the play by play, for the many out there that tend to detail out (see brag) their hourly report of a trip you can't help but feel distant from.

i will tell you that i got a massage yesterday, and well, i loved it! :)
to be honest, i'm not much of a massage guy back home.
but well, there's something about being over here, the ocean as a backdrop, that compels one to feel the need for a little rubbing...
now, before your mind runs wild, let me stop you short...(hehe)..
it wasn't one of 'those' massages...my girlfriend can attest to that in the bed next to me...
no matter - i really did enjoy it, although i did feel like the little Vietnamese girl was taking out some sort of frustration on me - as she flat out was pummeling me at times. and she couldn't have been more than 80 lbs.....bless her heart...

that's it for now from the lone star country....
rest assured, i am keeping it real over here, not eating McDonalds...
(in actual fact, they do not have McDonalds over here..., just KFC).
I think it's 'cause Ho Chi Minh resembles a certain chicken man...
you be the judge...

Xin chào!

the soup

2008-11-03T13:55:00.000+08:00

my kinda show..., if you haven't seen it, I recommend it.
it basically sums up 90% of weekly television for what it really is - the same old bullshit: all day, everyday.
this of course being reality TV.
there is seriously nothing else on anymore.

the soup does an amazing job pulling out the very best of the worst on TV.
and then, just let the LOLs begin...

here's a little sample -

jumping the shark

2008-10-29T08:52:00.000+08:00

Volume 1 - How does one jump the shark?
i don't claim to be an expert, per se, on the jumping of the shark....
however, barely a day goes by where i don't claim that someone/something has indeed jumped the shark...
i've been referencing shark jumping for quite some time now.., and strangely, i'm not really tired of it...
maybe it's because the kids never picked up on it...
maybe it's just a stupid term that I won't let go...
(or maybe, it, and thus I, have jumped the shark....!)
don't go there, girlfriend...

so, back to the shark tank...

my most recent case of the jump off came 9/10 of the way through the last book i read...
and for those that know me well...., i pick up a good book as often as i pick up around the house... (am I right, honey....??)

i was at the tail end of The Kite Runner, and to be honest, it was a pretty good book.
slow at first, but it certainly picked up - not only an interesting story, but a unique perspective into growing up in Afghanistan....
if you plan on reading it, i'd click over to a Romo post right about now...

towards the end of the book, the main character has grown up, living in the USA now, and heads back to Afghanistan to eventually search for his illegitimate nephew.
ok... i guess that happens from time to time...
oh, and i forgot to mention that his childhood servant friend turned out to be his half brother...who was sexually assaulted by a bully classmate...
well, wouldn't you know it - when our main character goes to rescue the boy in Afghanistan, who do you think had stolen the young illegitamate nephew...
that's right, the bully rapist...., who ends up beating our main character to a pulp until the illegitimate nephew steps in and saves the day.
talk about irony.......
all i know is, the shark got jumped my friends, and it was a skim read from there on out.....
it's back to my SI subscription....

xoxo

my peeps, what are you waiting for...?

2008-10-24T12:35:00.000+08:00

stop fighting it, and get on board....
if not for me, so be it..., but Romo is really starting to take this personally...
i'll give you another week, the chart best be rising....

re: stupid pet tricks....

2008-10-24T12:07:00.000+08:00

i see lil' Romo has some competition apparently...
a sect of kitties who all like to chase black elastics...
and are all named Romo....

i thought the roof was romo's arch nemesis, but now I see....
it's actually The White Romo...
starring in "The Late Show Kitty Face-off".
these albino pussies have nothing on you, buddy....
this isn't over, not by a long shot...

stupid pet tricks

2008-10-23T14:03:00.000+08:00

if only romo could bark, I'd have the first dog living inside a cat's body...
i've got him to play fetch..., next step is taking him for a walk...
and finally, the ultimate goal - get him (and subsequently me) on Letterman...
Late Show, here's my.., umm.., I mean Romo's audition tape...
call me, we're ready to rock it!

unstick my ride

2008-10-22T12:07:00.000+08:00

I promise I won't turn this blog purely into my attempt at a bumper sticker parody...
but i still think it could be a great idea...

instead, dare I say it.., I may need to start a 2nd blog!!
oh the irony...blogger boy means business....
i figure, what the hell, why not give it a try.
who knows, maybe I can exploit my interactive network and get a proper site built up...
maybe sprinkle a little web 2.0 in there, add a few buzz media words like facebook and RSS...and finish off with a little user generated content

i swear there is so much clutter out there right now, that is the biggest hurdle...
everyone/every business thinks they are so special...., have something that all of us consumers want a piece of.
that's why.., in these tough times, people need something simple....something sticky...
unstick my ride people...

just you wait my peeps....

To: that broad down the bar...

2008-10-20T11:12:00.000+08:00

a piece of advice: don't mess with a boy, his gal, and her Cowboys...
let me first start off by saying that my least favourite people in the world are rude & selfish people...
the kind of people that don't give a shit about anyone else, don't feel they need to follow the rules of etiquette, and are just generally a-holes.

case in point - we're at a bar (to remain nameless) to watch the Cowboys get their asses handed to them. upon arrival, there were 4 separate games on with under 8 people in the entire bar. as such, we ask the bartender if we can switch one of the screens over to the aforementioned Cowboys game.
and then, what would happen next would turn your mild mannered blogger into a full fledged rager.....
some broad decides to inform us that she is currently watching 3 of those 4 games...
umm.., excuse me..., what was that Rain Main?
now i'm a fan of the ol' pigskin, don't get me wrong.., but to claim that I can follow 3 games at a time (without the aid of a ticker or the internet) is complete BS.
anywho, this broad doesn't want to bend on this issue upon my asking her if she is indeed Rain Man; and apparently, she tells me she 'wakes up early every Sunday to run the football triathlon' at said bar.
this is where i lose it....and sorry kids, a few f-bombs slipped through...
i've never been one for confrontation, and anyone who knows me understands that it takes a whole lot to get me riled up. so congrats ms. thing.., you succeeded.
fortunately, the only things exchanged in this situation were words.
not to say i would even dream of anything else.., but i have been known to crank things up a notch to the 'wet & wild' approach of beer dumping on heads.
so, broad down the bar, consider yourself lucky...
and if a future Cowboys game is not available on cable, we'll go for a round 2.
it's on....

Obama for Prime Minister

2008-10-17T12:34:00.000+08:00

there is a viral video kicking around which should make us all so proud to live north of the 49...
it is beyond ignorant..., to the point that I don't really feel like posting it. (plus, Perez already posted it sooooo yesterday)
overall, the content is not that shocking....fairly stereotypical close-minded stuff from our brothers to the south.
what is alarming though is where the video in question is filmed.
Not Georgia, Not Bama, Not Kentuck....
god damn Ohio....!
a state that essentially borders us up here..., short of a great lake in the way...
and thank god for that h20...
keep these bastards away from us...
i never quite understood why Ohio was such a 'swingin' state...
i just assumed that it should be a 'blue' as per the other normal states that surround it.
i may have to rethink that whole Buckeye fan thing.

i must admit, i don't really know everything about Obama...
i haven't really been following his platform too closely...
i'm afraid to say that i've sorta just jumped on the bandwagon.
but, doesn't it just make sense...?
the U.S. is in such a mess (and has been for some time), and it now has an incredible opportunity to send a message...
not just for it's own global image, but for its own people.
to show its citizens that it is possible for everyone to succeed in life, not just the old cracker ass crackers.
even though i think the idea of 'change' is terribly overused, it really is that simple.
Obama = Change..., no matter what that really means.
and he's got a mean jump shot!

compare the skills....
i can't understand how he didn't win!!??