What I did on my summer vacation

Summer is upon us, which fans of the blog know can only mean one thing: a lil' bit of that sweet sweet retirement redux thing. For those of you that are new or didnt know, now you know.

Here's how the story goes: After a fruitful year with my previous company, the grass appeared greener in a different pasture, which in turn, grazed my interests to plant a few new seeds. I decided it was time to take my talents to south beach, aka recruitment, where my job will be hunting down as much good head as one can find.
*note - I would be happy to represent anyone interested in coming to this part of the World. For a promising career in Asia, call me.

With the deal done, I suddenly found myself faced with the admittedly bullshit dilemma of figuring out what to do with a month off. Europe seemed like it could be fun, reliving some of my backpacking escapades from a decade passed. Though, with the economic crisis in the euro zone and my disinterest in barstool austerity talk, I decided to look elsewhere. It wasn't long before the bailout (from mum and dad), offering me their hard earned Aeroplan points in exchange for some QT with their second born. How could I resist? So, off to Canadaland I went, in search of a few good friends, time with the fam and of all the odd requests, some Chalet sauce & pantyhose. 

Stop #1: Vancouver, oddly chilly in June, a bag packed full of shorts and t's quickly cast aside for sleeves and slacks. The delightfully easy-going city and hospitality of buddies, former colleagues and the ol' softball gang made up for this though. Besides, best not to bad mouth a place that is the leading candidate for the journey back one day. Good times were had, the jet lag actually helping me survive my 6am flight time out, headed eastbound and down.

Stop #2: by default I usually refer to home as "Toronto", but in truth, it's always been you, Oakville. And there it was, the same house on the same street, the inviting pool and some very familiar faces. A wonderful place to kick back for a few days and be treated like the Prince of Regency. Aside from my dear family, I was able to catch up with a solid gaggle of chums, though sad to miss encounters with a few good ones as well. With the gaggle in mind, our get together was highlighted by a night out in the big city. With these guys, there's always a comfort when meeting up, stories and attitudes that seemingly never change nor disappoint. All things but our hairlines, I suppose.

Funny story (amusing, not haha) - we hit up a casual Bavarian-esque place for some late evening beers on the Friday night. With its bench seating at a premium, we marked out the last remaining spots next to a few female coeds and proceeded to approach the bar. Ordering up and laying down the Laurier's, I turned back in disbelief...
"Damn, those old guys just stole our sea....."
Oops. Turns out those old guys would, in fact, be us. I suppose it's easy to get caught up in the recounting of high school and uni shenanigans with the boys to make one (temporarily) forget what time it is.  For those interested, that time stands at 33'oclock for me.

Like many times before & many more to come, the visit was inevitably too $hort. Time with the family has been at a premium the last 8 years, and although weekly Skype sessions help, there's nothing like being there in person.  

My journey returned me back to where I started from, in HK for essentially a week long countdown until the new adventure began - Koh Samui. This is where I write from, on a quiet beach, next to my best travel mate, the next episode to be continued...

Freedom Quarterly - Spring 2012 Issue

umm, hey, how's it going?
what have you been up to....? (this is awkward).
yes, i'm sorry i didn't write you back...but i've been...well...busy.
no, i'm not trying to make excuses...
yes, of course you're important to me...
[and so on...]

i have been a bad blogger, to the extent that i don't think i can even call myself a blogger any longer, or refer to this thing as a 'blog'.
what went wrong, you may or may not ask?
was it work? travel? modelling?
yes, a little, and n/a.

mainly, what i think happened when i wasn't looking, was that this place all of sudden became home.
crazy, right?
if you'd asked me a year ago, i'm pretty sure i would have considered this place little more than a 2-year excursion from Canadaland. yet, as you get into the flow of this place - the bars, the restaurants, the ease of getting around, the lack of house work, it kinda doesn't suck...at all. not to mention, in as least dickish a manner as i can, the club that we are now proudly members of, does not hurt the scorecard. our weekly routine sees us there for at least one game of tennis, a few rounds of drinks, a couple workouts at a real gym, and of course, the high society. dickish.

a quick rundown of the last few months -
1. the in-laws came for a visit. greatest guests ever. the weather did not agree so much.
2. softball playoffs saw our team win the consolation final (without me). a blessing for them.
3. aline with the raise - to my 'go fish'.
4. romo got fatter (more to love)
5. a couple of little jaunts to Australia & Taiwan

with the latter in mind, Oz (Sydney to be specific) was a pretty amazing place. what always seemed like an inconceivably long journey from Canada, is a delicious 10-hour flight from Hong Kong, which sadly seems like a layup compared to HK>TO. the weather couldn't have been any better during our stay; the throbbing sun casting its rays on us for the entire week. we found it to be very similar to Vancouver, very chill, very green, with a coastal walk similar to the seawall that stretches from the Harbour Bridge all the way through to the mecca of Bondi beach. caught a ballet at the Opera House, and i'm very comfortable to admit that it was the greatest ballet i have ever seen (lifetime ballets attended = 2). it is easy to assume that the cliches are all true Down Under. let's see...

Did - see some 'Roos in the wild
Did Not - get challenged to box one
Did - eat some crocodile (thought it was chicken)
Did Not - have anyone offer us any shrimp on the barbie
Did - drink a lot of cider (btw, i like cider now)
Did Not - consume any Fosters...didn't even see any actually

we retreated to the beach in Manly for a day, and rented a car to hit up wine country for an overnight as well. it was my first time cruising on the left-side....drove that thing like a boss. and, unlike previous foreign rental car experiences, we managed to avoid any crashes or damage. a great trip, we will definitely be back.

on to Taiwan.....where do I begin...?
whoa whoa...easy big fella, that's enough for one quarter.
i'll just let the pictures takeover from here....

Sydney
Taiwan

Local Canadian man retires at 33

oh wait, we already ran this one last Jan.
instead, let's go with - Kung Hei Fat Choi, friends!
it's a fresh new year of Freedom, full of hope, dreams and dragons.
trust me, at the moment i am very unretired, but did enjoy my sabbatical over the Christmas break. to those who i had the pleasure of embracing, thank you and thanks for the kind words shared regarding these scribbles of mine. if we weren't able to cross paths, i extend an open invitation for a raincheque on the far east side, any time.

although tough to leave home, I return back to Hong Kong with renewed optimism that the next 365 will be easier than the first. a job, a Jacky, and in 2-months, a country club membership.
that's the way we roll in the Kong. (note - the bank is paying for most of this).
a few trips planned as well - Singapore in less than 24hrs, over the Chinese New Year break…along with our first ever trip to the land down under over Easter. no complaints, mates.

well, maybe one.
as of Monday, we relocated offices….and gone is my luxurious door-to-door mini-bus chauffeur. i'm choked. we've moved a little further away from the WASPy comforts of Central, now clocking in at an area known as Quarry Bay.
would i recommend out-of-towners to come check this hood out? nope.
don't get me wrong, it's still on the Island side of HK, but it's fairly desolate in parts…aside from the 7-11 & McDonalds on every other corner. and yes, it may be true that on my first day, i just happened to stumble upon a dead mouse & a lizard on route to the office…but hey, it's like seeing a squirrel & a bluejay scurry across the sidewalk back in the burbs.
upon crossing the threshold of the building, we're still not home yet. it's a very typical space in this region of the World - an old industrial building turned white collar. the hallways are dim and long, and the preferred option to get up & down from the 22/F are the service elevators.
non-ironically, smoking does go down in the boys room; i keep telling myself the persistent wetness on the floor is from avid hand-washing.

now to the positive. our office space is actually quite nice. it's bright, with consistent wifi & an actual meeting room to take up private conversations. (not having this private space previously required me to dismiss my employee in the pantry of a shared workspace. awkward.)
it's also the first time in 8-months that everyone is in the same room, sharing ideas, banter and my Absolute 80's selections……go team. before we moved our staplers in, it is a local custom to have a Fen Shui expert come in to help us, amongst other things, get our shuit together. i'm still very unfamiliar with the 'in's&out's' of it all, but i do know that they've stuck me in a prime seat in the 'wealth corner'. no, this doesn't mean they'll pay me more, however, it's meant to help me bring in more money for the biz. with that, and my 'Always Be Closing' poster on my wall, i can't fail. they've also placed a money plant in my corner, which i was sure to water the shuit out of as well before leaving this weekend.
happy new year, folks….get your dragon.

Year in Review/Holiday Special

the final post for 2011 has taken some time to produce.
excuses? sure, i have a few:
busy with work, busy with the Christmas season, busy in a burger king bathroom (once).
with no big trips to speak of, and understandably, no new modeling callbacks to share, this final entry needed to marinate a little.

the cherished 'year in review' segment offers a chance to look back on the year that was, reflecting on what made it special/unique/shocking & downright Chinese. without sounding like a clichébag, the year has gone by so amazingly fast. it seems like just yesterday (groan) that AA & I were celebrating the new year by jumping on a plane destined for a land far far away.

once settled into our new home, i was soon compelled to start sharing my story, with you all, about a man, his cat and a few million Chinese residents.

it feels like it was just yeterday…..
(flip through scrapbook)
ah yes, here we go….
who could forget the classic maiden voyage -
Local Canadian man retires at 32!

in fact, i'm going to come right out and say it - i could do no wrong in January. be honest, you're still thinking about those shoe shopping adventures or reminiscing with delight about the time i tangled with 10,000 buddahs…. from my side, it felt like all of you were there with me each step….

through the months, the misadventures continued;
i can picture most of you scrolling through the various contributions, shaking your heads, thinking - 'oh, that's rich'.

come May, with Spring emerging, i messed it all up.
you all know the story. 
i went and got unretired.

"since the last time you heard from me, I lost some friends.
well, hell, me and Romo, we dipping again."

without question, that selfish act of labour would forever change the relationship for some of us.
i take full responsibility, selling out for the dollar dollar, because apparently, dollar is what i need.
with the freedom was lost, came 6-figures (HKD, don't do the math) that i gained…..

"they say money can't buy happiness?
look at the amateur model smile on my face.
ear to ear, baby."

i've done my best to make amends, realizing that an average of 2 posts per month isn't going to win some of the early adopters back. i promise to strive for more drinking & dooring myself , more dress-up parties, and even the odd poem, as i know you enjoy them as much as i do.

and so here we meet, Year 1 complete.
sharing with you many highs, and of course, a few sighs.

the jetsetting asian trips, some surprise career dips.
a teacher by day, with dreams of the runway.

headhunted & stunted, we all must confess.
though, not too corporate for a night in gladiator dress.

2012 just ahead, visitors welcome with spare bed.
Merry Freedom to all, and to all a good Freedom.

btw - the Freedom tour is rolling into a city near you soon.
from Dec 23-Jan 5, catch the Freedom bus as it passes through Oakville, Toronto, and Rockport (where?), followed by a quick stint out on the West Coast, from Jan 6-8 in Vancouver.

you've been a great audience….don't change a thing.
Happy Holidays!

almost famous

let's be honest, when you get thrown a 'to be continued' hanger, it's usually best if that next chapter follows shortly thereafter. realizing i'm 2-weeks overdue on that, a quick recap is likely needed.
when we last left this amateur model, a costume had been donned, a script was in hand, and a woman named Coins was rolling on the cam.

let me start back up again by first clearing the air. i may have misled my fans slightly with the mention of 'lines' as part of my audition. while it may have appeared as though i was on the fast track to a TV commercial, this is in fact not the case. instead, the rehearsal was intended for a much more 'live' style of performance.

skip ahead to Friday night.

7pm: i finished up my day job and rushed off to an extremely popular bar area in central named Lan Kwai Fong (LKF). after arriving to the arranged meeting spot, i suddenly got cold feet. i asked myself - "do i really want to get dressed up like a gladiator & stroll around the busiest area in Hong Kong?"
no, i don't really.

but damn it, when i started this thing, i knew it wouldn't be easy. so, like any good 'model', i decided to freshen up with a happy hour Heineken around the corner. not to confuse 'model' with role model, kids; though, it did do the trick. chugging down some courage, i was now ready to role play.

730pm: i was greeted by the event team, all conveniently wearing blue American Express golf shirts (i've never wanted to be in a collar so badly). they escorted me to my dressing room - a parked minivan on the side of the road. crouching & grappling, i struggled to remove my street clothes, trading them for what looked like a white hospital gown, that damn leather skirt again, and ye ole sandals. exiting the van, the street team got busy. the chest-piece was the first item to go on, although the front part kept separating from the back. "too muscular", they told me, playing to my ego early & often. wristlets on, shin guards strapped, sword, shield and broom hat in place. time for the walk of shame to begin.

8pm: fortunately, i wasn't the only one dressed up that night. in addition to my crew of blue-shirted locals, there was actually another male model rep'ing the very same soldier gear that evening. Alex, probably 10 years my junior, was cool as a cucumber…a real pro. he strutted his stuff like he'd been wearing that thing for years; and with that, i started to feed off his chiseled confidence and embraced the character i was set to play.
as we reached the doorstep of LKF, heads beginning to turn, eyeballs gazing, i held my broom hat high and marched alongside my new found friends. it was probably a good thing we kicked off as early as we did, not giving the patrons enough time to fuel themselves up yet with Spartan juice. after a few minutes, we quickly ducked into the first establishment on our list, ready to start the show.

830pm: the mission for the night was dead simple:
step 1 - look for people wearing blue (colours of American Express)
step 2 - approach guest and ask "i couldn't help notice you're wearing blue…?!"
step 3 - while still grinning like an idiot, ask patron if they have an American Express card
step 4 - if the answer to #3 is yes, give them a free drink ticket.
if the answer to #3 is no, decide whether they are a good soul or not, and give them a free drink ticket if it feels right.
the first interaction was a little awkward. i think i fumbled my lines a bit, something closer to "i couldn't help but notice i blue you...", or something like that. but very quickly, i genuinely started to have fun with it all. in the back room of the first bar, there was a crowd of 20 or so older folks, all there to celebrate a birthday of some sort. it just so happened that each and everyone of them was a loyal AmEx card carrying member. figuring it was a setup, i still quickly ran around the table, dishing out free sauce to seniors.
they hooted & they hollered. they probably thought it was perfect timing for the stripper to show up.

9pm: things started to really flow. we hit up the Hard Rock, one of the largest bars in the area, looking for blue in all the right places. we'd then scurry out into the street, amidst the flashing iPhones capturing this piece of Halloween hangover. people were legitimately excited to stop me, bypassing the 'why' and going straight for the 'can'…as in "can we take a photo with you?".
being the good character 'model' that i am, i was more than happy to oblige, even offering the fans the chance to hold my sword……
…
it was great. my team was super cool as well, treating me with the respect that an amateur 'model' deserves. during breaks, they would literally fan me down (not kidding) and rush to my side with an open bottle of water at the slightest sign of fatigue. i've been secretly craving this sort of attention my whole life.

10pm: that's a wrap. cross it off the list, i officially completed a paid gig as a 'model'. speaking of pay, thank god i have a real job. not only is the pay paltry, the payment terms are 60-days net. that's straight up offensive. if that's the way they're going to treat me, it may be time to start considering an agent.

in closing, thank you for all of those that believed in me. we did it!

unfortunately, a gladiator costume does not come with pockets, and as such, i wasn't able to carry my phone for pictures of the extravaganza. you'll just have to take my word for all of it.
short of a pic documenting the evening, i'm pleased to offer up something even better.
happy bday, Mum!

they pulled me back in

there's an expression in the modeling biz that you "can't teach pretty". as a one-time amateur model, i firmly believe this to be true. although extremely tough, over the past few months, i have come to terms that my moment to glisten may have passed me by.
tanktops lay folded in the dresser.
model face showcased solely in the company of my own mirror.
life goes on and you resign yourself to simply being just another regular joe.
that is until the phone rings.

me - 'Hello?'
agency - 'Is this Rich?'
me - 'It is.'
agency - 'Would you be available for a casting tonight?'
me (heart racing) - '..I could be. What is it for?'
agency - 'You would need to dress in a costume….a woman's costume.'
me (still interested) - 'Excuse me? What type of costume?'
agency - 'A Roman's costume.'
me (somewhat relieved) - 'Where & when!?'

the passion still burns.

upon arrival at the modeling agency, i met with an agent named 'Coins'.
*note to self, name first daughter (or next cat) 'Coins'.
the casting process, as it should be, is broken down into small manageable model steps.

Step #1 - take a few candids
easy. before going through the rigors of wardrobe, the agency always wants to see if you freeze on camera. a couple of snaps and if you pass, it's on to the next step.

Step #2 - go Roman
grabbing hold of the underarmour and sandals, i retreated into the small bathroom to start the transformation. a white knee-length pullover, a leathery skirt type of garb and open-toes.
shit, maybe this is me crossing over to 'Richelle' after-all.
upon returning to the shoot area, i was relieved to see the rest of the gear laid out for me. wristlets, chest armor, sword, shield, and broom helmet.
not bad…to the point where i started planning my early Halloween costume if they'd let me borrow it. a few more shots on camera, being somewhat confused if i'm supposed to be an angry Roman or a sultry Roman…. i went with a hybrid look.

Step #3 - the speech
the final component of the session required me to get in front of the vid cam to run some lines. ideally, this would have meant a tv or movie role. instead, the script details out a sales pitch, to be muttered to patrons in a local eatery.

surprise!!
turns out, the gig is for American Express, 'modeling' as a glorified Roman waiter & treating diners to a free glass of wine if they flash their AmEx.
whatever, it still counts.
the script, while very corporate, was also fairly hilarious in its broken English. having only looked at it briefly, i was inclined to freestyle it a little bit, but also knew the AmEx brass would want me to stick to the lines.
and so I began:

"Hello sir/madame. sorry to border your dining. We are from American Express card. Simply show your American card to us, you will receive a token to redeem a glass of red wine which totally FREE. Our promoters will drop down some general details to get us started."

there was also a problem with some math in the script, but i didn't want to break character….
it appears Romans don't do proper English or math.
and that was it.
they thanked me for my time and sent me on my way. no offense, but i've had the same bad taste in my mouth from previous castings, so there will be no kissing ass.
ok, maybe a little….(flash smile/wink).

a few days pass.
phone rings.
coffee is for closers.
you're looking at Hong Kong's next top Roman.

to be continued….

$5

2 posts, 1 week...i must be feeling a little frisky.
first & foremost, big golden hawk shoutout to J9, an oldie but a goody. great to catch up after 6+ years, half way across the world.

second & second-most, a quick softball update:  
Doghouse WIN, Doghouse WIN!
in a stunning turn of events, team Doghouse pulled out an impressive 8-4 victory on Saturday afternoon, finally getting their schneid-busting first win of the season. donning crisp new jerseys, the 'look good, play good' theory was in full effect.
my stat line: 1-3, with a double & a run scored

and now, a funny haircut tale.
this afternoon, after sending J9 on a train back to China, it was time to lose the shag.
after testing out a few barbers in the first few months here, i've now settled on my go-to establishment. there's nothing flashy about the place.
it's close & it's cheap, and ever since losing my modeling tour card, there's really no pressure on how the cut turns out.
the shop is very small, although there's enough room to accommodate 6 patrons. typically there are more employees than customers, as it's apparently used as more of a place to hangout, eat noodles and shoot the Cantonese shit than it is to "salon".
though, today was somewhat of an exception, as i scooped up the last free chair, right next to the lady wearing what i can only describe as some weird alien perm helmet.

my barber of choice is an older gentlemen and is strictly business. he doesn't ask many questions or offer up any pleasantries, given the obvious language barrier.
it's simply 2 questions - "short?" and "over-the-ears?"
to which I respond - "medium, and yes.", likely confusing the man.
fine. let's get down to cutting.
it's always a super quick transaction…i'd say 7 mins or so…in complete silence which suits me just fine. no wash, no blow, no product. just cut, pay and go.
today, that process broke down a little.
in previous sittings, i've received the exact same service for a very agreeable price of $40HKD, or $5 back home. today, upon presenting the fine proprietor with a hong kong benjamin, i was confused with his return of merely $50 change.

below is the dialogue that ensued, in my abbreviated 'talk-to-a-local' English -  

Me: "$50? Not $40?" 
Barber (insulted/sarcastic laugh): "No, $50." 
Me: "Really?" pointing to sign on the glass door, that happens to be facing out, so it reads backwards…but still sure it says $40. 
Barber (now pissed off, shaking head): "No, $50."

he then proceeded to walk towards me, grabbing my arm (as i remember it, at least), and escorted me outside of the premise to read another sign on the front window. indeed, he pointed out that the new 'taped-over' price is $50. fine.

to be honest, it wasn't the price that had me concerned, it was more the principal. i felt i might be getting gweilo pricing, but now, with his determined effort to prove his argument, i was resigned to concede and offered him a 唔該 (m̀hgòi), or simply "ok, thank you".
i do not believe he accepted.

i still hope to go back one day, however, i may be the only white-ghost that actually goes there…and let's be honest, you never forget a white ghost.