almost famous

let's be honest, when you get thrown a 'to be continued' hanger, it's usually best if that next chapter follows shortly thereafter. realizing i'm 2-weeks overdue on that, a quick recap is likely needed.
when we last left this amateur model, a costume had been donned, a script was in hand, and a woman named Coins was rolling on the cam.

let me start back up again by first clearing the air. i may have misled my fans slightly with the mention of 'lines' as part of my audition. while it may have appeared as though i was on the fast track to a TV commercial, this is in fact not the case. instead, the rehearsal was intended for a much more 'live' style of performance.

skip ahead to Friday night.

7pm: i finished up my day job and rushed off to an extremely popular bar area in central named Lan Kwai Fong (LKF). after arriving to the arranged meeting spot, i suddenly got cold feet. i asked myself - "do i really want to get dressed up like a gladiator & stroll around the busiest area in Hong Kong?"
no, i don't really.

but damn it, when i started this thing, i knew it wouldn't be easy. so, like any good 'model', i decided to freshen up with a happy hour Heineken around the corner. not to confuse 'model' with role model, kids; though, it did do the trick. chugging down some courage, i was now ready to role play.

730pm: i was greeted by the event team, all conveniently wearing blue American Express golf shirts (i've never wanted to be in a collar so badly). they escorted me to my dressing room - a parked minivan on the side of the road. crouching & grappling, i struggled to remove my street clothes, trading them for what looked like a white hospital gown, that damn leather skirt again, and ye ole sandals. exiting the van, the street team got busy. the chest-piece was the first item to go on, although the front part kept separating from the back. "too muscular", they told me, playing to my ego early & often. wristlets on, shin guards strapped, sword, shield and broom hat in place. time for the walk of shame to begin.

8pm: fortunately, i wasn't the only one dressed up that night. in addition to my crew of blue-shirted locals, there was actually another male model rep'ing the very same soldier gear that evening. Alex, probably 10 years my junior, was cool as a cucumber…a real pro. he strutted his stuff like he'd been wearing that thing for years; and with that, i started to feed off his chiseled confidence and embraced the character i was set to play.
as we reached the doorstep of LKF, heads beginning to turn, eyeballs gazing, i held my broom hat high and marched alongside my new found friends. it was probably a good thing we kicked off as early as we did, not giving the patrons enough time to fuel themselves up yet with Spartan juice. after a few minutes, we quickly ducked into the first establishment on our list, ready to start the show.

830pm: the mission for the night was dead simple:
step 1 - look for people wearing blue (colours of American Express)
step 2 - approach guest and ask "i couldn't help notice you're wearing blue…?!"
step 3 - while still grinning like an idiot, ask patron if they have an American Express card
step 4 - if the answer to #3 is yes, give them a free drink ticket.
if the answer to #3 is no, decide whether they are a good soul or not, and give them a free drink ticket if it feels right.
the first interaction was a little awkward. i think i fumbled my lines a bit, something closer to "i couldn't help but notice i blue you...", or something like that. but very quickly, i genuinely started to have fun with it all. in the back room of the first bar, there was a crowd of 20 or so older folks, all there to celebrate a birthday of some sort. it just so happened that each and everyone of them was a loyal AmEx card carrying member. figuring it was a setup, i still quickly ran around the table, dishing out free sauce to seniors.
they hooted & they hollered. they probably thought it was perfect timing for the stripper to show up.

9pm: things started to really flow. we hit up the Hard Rock, one of the largest bars in the area, looking for blue in all the right places. we'd then scurry out into the street, amidst the flashing iPhones capturing this piece of Halloween hangover. people were legitimately excited to stop me, bypassing the 'why' and going straight for the 'can'…as in "can we take a photo with you?".
being the good character 'model' that i am, i was more than happy to oblige, even offering the fans the chance to hold my sword……
…
it was great. my team was super cool as well, treating me with the respect that an amateur 'model' deserves. during breaks, they would literally fan me down (not kidding) and rush to my side with an open bottle of water at the slightest sign of fatigue. i've been secretly craving this sort of attention my whole life.

10pm: that's a wrap. cross it off the list, i officially completed a paid gig as a 'model'. speaking of pay, thank god i have a real job. not only is the pay paltry, the payment terms are 60-days net. that's straight up offensive. if that's the way they're going to treat me, it may be time to start considering an agent.

in closing, thank you for all of those that believed in me. we did it!

unfortunately, a gladiator costume does not come with pockets, and as such, i wasn't able to carry my phone for pictures of the extravaganza. you'll just have to take my word for all of it.
short of a pic documenting the evening, i'm pleased to offer up something even better.
happy bday, Mum!

they pulled me back in

there's an expression in the modeling biz that you "can't teach pretty". as a one-time amateur model, i firmly believe this to be true. although extremely tough, over the past few months, i have come to terms that my moment to glisten may have passed me by.
tanktops lay folded in the dresser.
model face showcased solely in the company of my own mirror.
life goes on and you resign yourself to simply being just another regular joe.
that is until the phone rings.

me - 'Hello?'
agency - 'Is this Rich?'
me - 'It is.'
agency - 'Would you be available for a casting tonight?'
me (heart racing) - '..I could be. What is it for?'
agency - 'You would need to dress in a costume….a woman's costume.'
me (still interested) - 'Excuse me? What type of costume?'
agency - 'A Roman's costume.'
me (somewhat relieved) - 'Where & when!?'

the passion still burns.

upon arrival at the modeling agency, i met with an agent named 'Coins'.
*note to self, name first daughter (or next cat) 'Coins'.
the casting process, as it should be, is broken down into small manageable model steps.

Step #1 - take a few candids
easy. before going through the rigors of wardrobe, the agency always wants to see if you freeze on camera. a couple of snaps and if you pass, it's on to the next step.

Step #2 - go Roman
grabbing hold of the underarmour and sandals, i retreated into the small bathroom to start the transformation. a white knee-length pullover, a leathery skirt type of garb and open-toes.
shit, maybe this is me crossing over to 'Richelle' after-all.
upon returning to the shoot area, i was relieved to see the rest of the gear laid out for me. wristlets, chest armor, sword, shield, and broom helmet.
not bad…to the point where i started planning my early Halloween costume if they'd let me borrow it. a few more shots on camera, being somewhat confused if i'm supposed to be an angry Roman or a sultry Roman…. i went with a hybrid look.

Step #3 - the speech
the final component of the session required me to get in front of the vid cam to run some lines. ideally, this would have meant a tv or movie role. instead, the script details out a sales pitch, to be muttered to patrons in a local eatery.

surprise!!
turns out, the gig is for American Express, 'modeling' as a glorified Roman waiter & treating diners to a free glass of wine if they flash their AmEx.
whatever, it still counts.
the script, while very corporate, was also fairly hilarious in its broken English. having only looked at it briefly, i was inclined to freestyle it a little bit, but also knew the AmEx brass would want me to stick to the lines.
and so I began:

"Hello sir/madame. sorry to border your dining. We are from American Express card. Simply show your American card to us, you will receive a token to redeem a glass of red wine which totally FREE. Our promoters will drop down some general details to get us started."

there was also a problem with some math in the script, but i didn't want to break character….
it appears Romans don't do proper English or math.
and that was it.
they thanked me for my time and sent me on my way. no offense, but i've had the same bad taste in my mouth from previous castings, so there will be no kissing ass.
ok, maybe a little….(flash smile/wink).

a few days pass.
phone rings.
coffee is for closers.
you're looking at Hong Kong's next top Roman.

to be continued….