Year in Review/Holiday Special

the final post for 2011 has taken some time to produce.
excuses? sure, i have a few:
busy with work, busy with the Christmas season, busy in a burger king bathroom (once).
with no big trips to speak of, and understandably, no new modeling callbacks to share, this final entry needed to marinate a little.

the cherished 'year in review' segment offers a chance to look back on the year that was, reflecting on what made it special/unique/shocking & downright Chinese. without sounding like a clichébag, the year has gone by so amazingly fast. it seems like just yesterday (groan) that AA & I were celebrating the new year by jumping on a plane destined for a land far far away.

once settled into our new home, i was soon compelled to start sharing my story, with you all, about a man, his cat and a few million Chinese residents.

it feels like it was just yeterday…..
(flip through scrapbook)
ah yes, here we go….
who could forget the classic maiden voyage -
Local Canadian man retires at 32!

in fact, i'm going to come right out and say it - i could do no wrong in January. be honest, you're still thinking about those shoe shopping adventures or reminiscing with delight about the time i tangled with 10,000 buddahs…. from my side, it felt like all of you were there with me each step….

through the months, the misadventures continued;
i can picture most of you scrolling through the various contributions, shaking your heads, thinking - 'oh, that's rich'.

come May, with Spring emerging, i messed it all up.
you all know the story. 
i went and got unretired.

"since the last time you heard from me, I lost some friends.
well, hell, me and Romo, we dipping again."

without question, that selfish act of labour would forever change the relationship for some of us.
i take full responsibility, selling out for the dollar dollar, because apparently, dollar is what i need.
with the freedom was lost, came 6-figures (HKD, don't do the math) that i gained…..

"they say money can't buy happiness?
look at the amateur model smile on my face.
ear to ear, baby."

i've done my best to make amends, realizing that an average of 2 posts per month isn't going to win some of the early adopters back. i promise to strive for more drinking & dooring myself , more dress-up parties, and even the odd poem, as i know you enjoy them as much as i do.

and so here we meet, Year 1 complete.
sharing with you many highs, and of course, a few sighs.

the jetsetting asian trips, some surprise career dips.
a teacher by day, with dreams of the runway.

headhunted & stunted, we all must confess.
though, not too corporate for a night in gladiator dress.

2012 just ahead, visitors welcome with spare bed.
Merry Freedom to all, and to all a good Freedom.

btw - the Freedom tour is rolling into a city near you soon.
from Dec 23-Jan 5, catch the Freedom bus as it passes through Oakville, Toronto, and Rockport (where?), followed by a quick stint out on the West Coast, from Jan 6-8 in Vancouver.

you've been a great audience….don't change a thing.
Happy Holidays!

almost famous

let's be honest, when you get thrown a 'to be continued' hanger, it's usually best if that next chapter follows shortly thereafter. realizing i'm 2-weeks overdue on that, a quick recap is likely needed.
when we last left this amateur model, a costume had been donned, a script was in hand, and a woman named Coins was rolling on the cam.

let me start back up again by first clearing the air. i may have misled my fans slightly with the mention of 'lines' as part of my audition. while it may have appeared as though i was on the fast track to a TV commercial, this is in fact not the case. instead, the rehearsal was intended for a much more 'live' style of performance.

skip ahead to Friday night.

7pm: i finished up my day job and rushed off to an extremely popular bar area in central named Lan Kwai Fong (LKF). after arriving to the arranged meeting spot, i suddenly got cold feet. i asked myself - "do i really want to get dressed up like a gladiator & stroll around the busiest area in Hong Kong?"
no, i don't really.

but damn it, when i started this thing, i knew it wouldn't be easy. so, like any good 'model', i decided to freshen up with a happy hour Heineken around the corner. not to confuse 'model' with role model, kids; though, it did do the trick. chugging down some courage, i was now ready to role play.

730pm: i was greeted by the event team, all conveniently wearing blue American Express golf shirts (i've never wanted to be in a collar so badly). they escorted me to my dressing room - a parked minivan on the side of the road. crouching & grappling, i struggled to remove my street clothes, trading them for what looked like a white hospital gown, that damn leather skirt again, and ye ole sandals. exiting the van, the street team got busy. the chest-piece was the first item to go on, although the front part kept separating from the back. "too muscular", they told me, playing to my ego early & often. wristlets on, shin guards strapped, sword, shield and broom hat in place. time for the walk of shame to begin.

8pm: fortunately, i wasn't the only one dressed up that night. in addition to my crew of blue-shirted locals, there was actually another male model rep'ing the very same soldier gear that evening. Alex, probably 10 years my junior, was cool as a cucumber…a real pro. he strutted his stuff like he'd been wearing that thing for years; and with that, i started to feed off his chiseled confidence and embraced the character i was set to play.
as we reached the doorstep of LKF, heads beginning to turn, eyeballs gazing, i held my broom hat high and marched alongside my new found friends. it was probably a good thing we kicked off as early as we did, not giving the patrons enough time to fuel themselves up yet with Spartan juice. after a few minutes, we quickly ducked into the first establishment on our list, ready to start the show.

830pm: the mission for the night was dead simple:
step 1 - look for people wearing blue (colours of American Express)
step 2 - approach guest and ask "i couldn't help notice you're wearing blue…?!"
step 3 - while still grinning like an idiot, ask patron if they have an American Express card
step 4 - if the answer to #3 is yes, give them a free drink ticket.
if the answer to #3 is no, decide whether they are a good soul or not, and give them a free drink ticket if it feels right.
the first interaction was a little awkward. i think i fumbled my lines a bit, something closer to "i couldn't help but notice i blue you...", or something like that. but very quickly, i genuinely started to have fun with it all. in the back room of the first bar, there was a crowd of 20 or so older folks, all there to celebrate a birthday of some sort. it just so happened that each and everyone of them was a loyal AmEx card carrying member. figuring it was a setup, i still quickly ran around the table, dishing out free sauce to seniors.
they hooted & they hollered. they probably thought it was perfect timing for the stripper to show up.

9pm: things started to really flow. we hit up the Hard Rock, one of the largest bars in the area, looking for blue in all the right places. we'd then scurry out into the street, amidst the flashing iPhones capturing this piece of Halloween hangover. people were legitimately excited to stop me, bypassing the 'why' and going straight for the 'can'…as in "can we take a photo with you?".
being the good character 'model' that i am, i was more than happy to oblige, even offering the fans the chance to hold my sword……
…
it was great. my team was super cool as well, treating me with the respect that an amateur 'model' deserves. during breaks, they would literally fan me down (not kidding) and rush to my side with an open bottle of water at the slightest sign of fatigue. i've been secretly craving this sort of attention my whole life.

10pm: that's a wrap. cross it off the list, i officially completed a paid gig as a 'model'. speaking of pay, thank god i have a real job. not only is the pay paltry, the payment terms are 60-days net. that's straight up offensive. if that's the way they're going to treat me, it may be time to start considering an agent.

in closing, thank you for all of those that believed in me. we did it!

unfortunately, a gladiator costume does not come with pockets, and as such, i wasn't able to carry my phone for pictures of the extravaganza. you'll just have to take my word for all of it.
short of a pic documenting the evening, i'm pleased to offer up something even better.
happy bday, Mum!

they pulled me back in

there's an expression in the modeling biz that you "can't teach pretty". as a one-time amateur model, i firmly believe this to be true. although extremely tough, over the past few months, i have come to terms that my moment to glisten may have passed me by.
tanktops lay folded in the dresser.
model face showcased solely in the company of my own mirror.
life goes on and you resign yourself to simply being just another regular joe.
that is until the phone rings.

me - 'Hello?'
agency - 'Is this Rich?'
me - 'It is.'
agency - 'Would you be available for a casting tonight?'
me (heart racing) - '..I could be. What is it for?'
agency - 'You would need to dress in a costume….a woman's costume.'
me (still interested) - 'Excuse me? What type of costume?'
agency - 'A Roman's costume.'
me (somewhat relieved) - 'Where & when!?'

the passion still burns.

upon arrival at the modeling agency, i met with an agent named 'Coins'.
*note to self, name first daughter (or next cat) 'Coins'.
the casting process, as it should be, is broken down into small manageable model steps.

Step #1 - take a few candids
easy. before going through the rigors of wardrobe, the agency always wants to see if you freeze on camera. a couple of snaps and if you pass, it's on to the next step.

Step #2 - go Roman
grabbing hold of the underarmour and sandals, i retreated into the small bathroom to start the transformation. a white knee-length pullover, a leathery skirt type of garb and open-toes.
shit, maybe this is me crossing over to 'Richelle' after-all.
upon returning to the shoot area, i was relieved to see the rest of the gear laid out for me. wristlets, chest armor, sword, shield, and broom helmet.
not bad…to the point where i started planning my early Halloween costume if they'd let me borrow it. a few more shots on camera, being somewhat confused if i'm supposed to be an angry Roman or a sultry Roman…. i went with a hybrid look.

Step #3 - the speech
the final component of the session required me to get in front of the vid cam to run some lines. ideally, this would have meant a tv or movie role. instead, the script details out a sales pitch, to be muttered to patrons in a local eatery.

surprise!!
turns out, the gig is for American Express, 'modeling' as a glorified Roman waiter & treating diners to a free glass of wine if they flash their AmEx.
whatever, it still counts.
the script, while very corporate, was also fairly hilarious in its broken English. having only looked at it briefly, i was inclined to freestyle it a little bit, but also knew the AmEx brass would want me to stick to the lines.
and so I began:

"Hello sir/madame. sorry to border your dining. We are from American Express card. Simply show your American card to us, you will receive a token to redeem a glass of red wine which totally FREE. Our promoters will drop down some general details to get us started."

there was also a problem with some math in the script, but i didn't want to break character….
it appears Romans don't do proper English or math.
and that was it.
they thanked me for my time and sent me on my way. no offense, but i've had the same bad taste in my mouth from previous castings, so there will be no kissing ass.
ok, maybe a little….(flash smile/wink).

a few days pass.
phone rings.
coffee is for closers.
you're looking at Hong Kong's next top Roman.

to be continued….

$5

2 posts, 1 week...i must be feeling a little frisky.
first & foremost, big golden hawk shoutout to J9, an oldie but a goody. great to catch up after 6+ years, half way across the world.

second & second-most, a quick softball update:  
Doghouse WIN, Doghouse WIN!
in a stunning turn of events, team Doghouse pulled out an impressive 8-4 victory on Saturday afternoon, finally getting their schneid-busting first win of the season. donning crisp new jerseys, the 'look good, play good' theory was in full effect.
my stat line: 1-3, with a double & a run scored

and now, a funny haircut tale.
this afternoon, after sending J9 on a train back to China, it was time to lose the shag.
after testing out a few barbers in the first few months here, i've now settled on my go-to establishment. there's nothing flashy about the place.
it's close & it's cheap, and ever since losing my modeling tour card, there's really no pressure on how the cut turns out.
the shop is very small, although there's enough room to accommodate 6 patrons. typically there are more employees than customers, as it's apparently used as more of a place to hangout, eat noodles and shoot the Cantonese shit than it is to "salon".
though, today was somewhat of an exception, as i scooped up the last free chair, right next to the lady wearing what i can only describe as some weird alien perm helmet.

my barber of choice is an older gentlemen and is strictly business. he doesn't ask many questions or offer up any pleasantries, given the obvious language barrier.
it's simply 2 questions - "short?" and "over-the-ears?"
to which I respond - "medium, and yes.", likely confusing the man.
fine. let's get down to cutting.
it's always a super quick transaction…i'd say 7 mins or so…in complete silence which suits me just fine. no wash, no blow, no product. just cut, pay and go.
today, that process broke down a little.
in previous sittings, i've received the exact same service for a very agreeable price of $40HKD, or $5 back home. today, upon presenting the fine proprietor with a hong kong benjamin, i was confused with his return of merely $50 change.

below is the dialogue that ensued, in my abbreviated 'talk-to-a-local' English -  

Me: "$50? Not $40?" 
Barber (insulted/sarcastic laugh): "No, $50." 
Me: "Really?" pointing to sign on the glass door, that happens to be facing out, so it reads backwards…but still sure it says $40. 
Barber (now pissed off, shaking head): "No, $50."

he then proceeded to walk towards me, grabbing my arm (as i remember it, at least), and escorted me outside of the premise to read another sign on the front window. indeed, he pointed out that the new 'taped-over' price is $50. fine.

to be honest, it wasn't the price that had me concerned, it was more the principal. i felt i might be getting gweilo pricing, but now, with his determined effort to prove his argument, i was resigned to concede and offered him a 唔該 (m̀hgòi), or simply "ok, thank you".
i do not believe he accepted.

i still hope to go back one day, however, i may be the only white-ghost that actually goes there…and let's be honest, you never forget a white ghost.

The sun is rising once again

konnichiwa & arigato, my peeps….
these, by the way, were essentially the only two words i muttered in public during the week that was Japan.
like Hong Kong, Japan is indeed part of Asia…but that's about the only thing they have in common. think of it as a little more Europe, and a little less China. although communication in English is not so forthcoming, the people we did interact with were extremely courteous and friendly.
very civilized, very orderly. my kind of people.
case in point - our taxi ride to the hotel in Tokyo. our cab driver, an older gent, welcomes us to his land with a free pack of gum. a nice touch, not to mention the fresh breath.
and so, it began….


Tokyo: Beware - the Japanese vampire funboy

there's no denying the 'wow' factor that Tokyo presents. perhaps lessened slightly for a couple of kids from Hong Kong, but entirely clear as soon as we stepped out into the neon playground - that city has a beat. it is also massive. we get spoiled a little bit in our highly condensed world, where everything is 5 mins away via essentially free taxis. not the case in Tokyo, confirmed by the daily aches running through my arches. taxis are stupid expensive in Tokyo, so you're left to gaze at the city from underneath. the metro, a system of snakes & laddering all across the capital, handy to get where you need to go, but just not all that quick going down + across + up.
and so we rode & walked, & rode some more, hitting the spots on our consolidated list of must-sees. first thing i wanted to see, for whatever reason, was what i refer to as the 'times square' of Tokyo….or more accurately, Shibuya Crossing. you've all seen it…, a chaotic block of thousands of people crossing from one side of the street to the other. sounds fascinating doesn't it…, and so we went, and i can confirm the chaos. unlike the cool shots you may have seen from a movie, elevated above the street, when you're actually down amongst the masses, it's really not that sexy, you just gotta move.

this is just down the line from Kabukicho, the 'red-light' district. i know what you're thinking:
did i happen to stumble upon any undergarment vending machines…?

oh, that wasn't what you were thinking?
well, either way, i was unsuccessful.

not that i was considering myself to be a buyer, but more so an interest in uncovering the urban myth of whether people in Japan do in fact ante for panty. sadly, i can neither confirm or deny.
i can confirm that 'love hotels' do in fact exist. again, playing the role of less patron, more witness. from the outside, they don't seem all that different from a regular hotel, aside from the ability to 'rest' or 'stay'. the former is by the hour…for what i can only imagine is a power nap in-between walking your ass across the city.
amongst all of this, i didn't really have a problem with this part of town, that is, until the Japanese vampire funboys arrived. picture Lost Boys, only with subtitles, and cowboy boots. they came out from the darkness, every corner you turned, there they were. shuffling around in their boots, flipping their manes off the backs of their cool black leather, they huddled in groups handing out fliers to the innocent walking by. maybe it was the creepy factor, or perhaps the panic, but we actually did get lost in a sea of hair & rented love.

other highlights -

Tsujuki Fish Market - sushi, served fresh at 8am. i'll still choose pancakes, but when in rome i suppose…

Park Hyatt Hotel, 52nd floor - movie geeks will know this as the setting for about half of Lost in Translation, the epic classic of adultery & inappropriate friendship. Bill Murray, Suntory whiskey, piano bar…it's all there, and the view of the city is definitely worth the yen.


Hakone: cold feet for hot springs

the trip to Japan offered a fine balance of big city & little country. Hakone, about an hour south of Tokyo, is a little piece of green heaven and a stark contrast to the bustle we witnessed our first few days. the big thing about staying out this way is the 'tradition' it provides. forgo the chain hotel and stay at a ryokan Japanese inn. quaint doesn't really describe the setting of sliding doors and flatness. no chairs, instead, you get to sit on a pillow. no permanent bed either, it's folded up in the front closet. traditionally uncomfortable i have to admit, but very unique and glad we did it. the other very 'unique' feature of the ryokan is the hot springs, aka bath houses. not familiar with these? let me catch you up.

step 1 - throw on a kamono
step 2 - head down to the bath house
step 3 - disrobe
step 4 - crouch on a stool & wash self
step 5 - join the party in the tub

yes, the hot springs are a communal jam, where everyone's getting really friendly. i must admit, my first pass at bath time was a let down…i was the only dude in the place. lame.
second time through, success! another gentleman was keeping it warm for me, as i quickly slipped myself into the boil. was it awkward? perhaps a little bit…but in this case, it was elevated, given the fact he was a local, and thus not a lot of English happening. so, there we were. 2 guys, enjoying a bath side by side, unable to even share a clever 'boy, it's really hot in here…' quip. i'm pretty sure he snuck a peek.
finally, the last piece of tradition was what we ended up with on our plates that evening, and sadly, sushi does not make that list. very interesting dishes…most of which was a complete shot in the dark to I.D., but like camp, you either eat or go to bed hungry. so, we ate.
would i order it at a restaurant the next time i swing through Japan? no.
again, it's all part of the experience.
wrapping up the evening, we checked the cliche box, by watching Lost in Translation….


Kyoto: [fill in Accord-related joke later]

i must admit, Kyoto was the most surprising part of the entire trip. not knowing much about the place, i went in thinking it would be a poor man's Tokyo, but i'm here to tell you it has some serious game. it reminded me a lot of Brussels (or is it Bruges). a rich history, being the former capital of Japan, with hundreds of shrines popping up all over the landscape. mix in an amazing amount of small restaurants, bars, and shops tucked away on small cobbleston'esque roads, and you have an amazing little town. the big thing in the area of the city called Gion is the tendency to see the elusive Geisha running from client to client. misunderstood, there is still something that seems very taboo about the profession, although i am lead to believe it's fairly PG-13 these days. still, i was intrigued when out of the corner of a dark alley, we say the billowing white umbrella pop-up, and a woman in traditional garb making a jailbreak. the only piece of Japanese lore that didn't stumble across our paths would be the mighty sumo. the big boys, when not in a tourney, train at stables, mostly in Tokyo. something for next time. final bit to add, we met a local bar keep named Kenji-son in an Italian Bistro, an odd choice, but a good one. as we sipped on sake, exchanging broken English stories of life and adventure, he was kind enough to give us a few freebies courtesy of the house. finishing like we started, another local putting the 'free' in freedom.

so that's that. another Asian country done & dusted.
now we're really getting into the dregs….

as always, enjoy my non-Facebook album HERE

moneyballz

rest in peace, Steve.
i'll keep this brief, as the tribute is a bit unintentional, but certainly necessary.
i can't begin to compare my experience with the man & brand that a life long Jobs/Mac groupie can. that said, from the days in Amsterdam with my 2nd-gen iPod to the MacBook Pro being used to scribe this in HK, my journey around the World continues to be enhanced in the company of i.
many people have shared their thoughts on the passing; his life, his legacy.
a friend had this sobering take -

Steve jobs actually had all the money in the world. Shows how valuable health is.” #rememberwhatsimportant

the rest of this post may seem trivial in light of this. yet so many of you have been waiting for days to hear about my softball debut. and there is your subtle segue.

one word can describe my take on the first game of the season - intense. these guys are definitely not your typical weekend warriors. grown men, in full baseball gear, staring me down, trying to get a feel whether this rook has what it takes. a little on edge, i got the feeling that i was still on tryout as i stepped up to the plate in the 1st.
batting second, i quickly proceeded to fly out to centre.
get those nerves out early, kid.
next appearance, considerably better, as i stroked a double into the gap. all in, 1 for 3 on the day, with a walk. our team fared just about as well, getting thrashed 15-3 when it was all said and done. no matter, we'll get 'em next time.
hands-in, boys.
'1-2-3, Doghouse!'
and of course, it wouldn't be baseball without a beer & a dog at the ballpark. play hard, eat hard.
a league website, including player stats, just so happens to exist. once i get into my groove, i may share with my fanclub.

in closing, Japan is on the horizon - and that's your guarantee that the next post will be more inspirational than me sporting cleats and throwing down a wiener. i will say this though - from what i've been told, Tokyo is a city like no other, and i'm excited to share my experience of this metropolis with you all. with that in mind, i decided to partake in a quick social experiment. a message was sent, to a select group of people, to inquire whether they had been to Tokyo. simple question - "have you been to Tokyo?" and if so, "could you share with me as a list of 'musts'". easy, i reckoned. however, like my batting average, my 'friends' whiffed on me - 3 for 15. 3 people, out of 15, actually responded.
shame....
12 of you just cost yourselves a postcard. it's called tough love.

Concussions, Crocs & Cebu dreams

it has been a week to remember…..or forget, depends on how you look at it.
where to begin….oh yes, let's start with the first 'C'.

Part 1: Concussion at the summer company mixer
for those that know me, this should come as no surprise, but i tend to enjoy staff parties. what better way to blow off a little 9-5 steam than with a few cocktails, shared with co-workers exchanging witty office banter. no harm in that.
this year, the festivities took place poolside at the Macau Hard Rock hotel. on route to the venue, via shuttle bus with my local Chinese team, i was perhaps calling my shot when i eloquently suggested it would be rude of us, while at the Hard Rock, to not 'rock hard'. i took their puzzled silence as acceptance of this challenge and we proceeded on. as per these occasions, the beverages flowed freely from the time we arrived, and i indulged in moderation. as the night carried on, the crowd dwindled and a dip in the pool seemed timely, given i would never expose myself to large crowds. perhaps the fact that, post-swim, i decided to remain bare chested should have been an early flag of the evening that was to come. skip to the lounge bar downstairs, a little hip hop on the cut, courtesy of local DJ 'Snoop'.
"another drink for the road", I said, "then i must excuse myself, as it is a Monday night."
the next part should have been simple - men's room. open door. exit back to party. instead, it went - men's room, open door into head, bleed profusely, blame DJ when others arrive. of course, a few minutes later, i did take personal responsibility for my actions…can't play Snoop like that. was i concussed? perhaps mildly. embarrassed? a little bit. bleeding? yes, although i was assured stitches wouldn't be necessary, by a total of 0 qualified doctors. so there i was…a bloody, haggard mess. with no shoes.

Part 2: Croc Rock
let's call that possible concussion back into question, given 48-hours later, I ended up buying my first pair of Crocs. the horror.....
how long until the fanny pack, minivan, and semi-detach in the burbs?
It's over….
now, to my credit, these are Croc flip-flops, not the 'other' famous shoe in the line. this makes it a little better, but the truth is, i walked into the store with no shame in my game, gazing at the rainbow palette of tool totes that hung in front of me.
i was compelled to leap into this situation for 2 reasons:
#1 - a trip to Cebu (Philippines) 2 days later
&
#2 - i lost my previous pair at the aforementioned summer party, after 'rocking hard' (hence the no shoes).
i have to say though…they are pretty damn comfortable.
@sweetlegs65 i hear ya, bro. keep on keepin' on.

bring on the beach.

Part 3: Cebu next Tuesday
Cebu is 1 of over 7,000 islands in the Philippines, all without a salad dressing to lay claim to. this sad fact aside, it's a very warm & pleasant place, in climate and in culture. typical of our recent trips, this was a quick 4-nighter jaunt, with the majority of the time spent parked on a beach chair, working on my million HKD tan. we made some time for a quick snorkel trip (no underwater camera = no pictures of fish), along with a dinner outside the cozy confines of the Shangri-La, where we dined on crispy pata and washed it down with a cold San Miguel Light. good times. the trip came to an end this afternoon, tastefully serenaded by a local Filipino band at the boarding gate, prior to flying back to the Kong.
pictures for those interested are here.

stay tuned, we go Japanese in 3-weeks.

Drafted

i'm old. i didn't foresee this admission coming so easily at the ripe age of 33, but there you have it. yes, it's true that a co-worker recently feigned surprise at this number, thinking i was closer to 31 (i credit this to a dedicated moisturizing regimen).

unfortunately, you can't moisturize a body that aches through the depths of every single muscle.
every inch of me is sore.
every time i get up to move around, i am sore.
i literally just sneezed, causing sheer agony.

what pains me even more is how I ended up this way.
of all things hardcore, can you believe this is a result of softball?
ironically pathetic, no?
now, to my credit, this wasn't just your average pick-up beer league kind of game. this was a proper tryout to join the softball league out here in Hong Kong.

yes, a tryout, and no, i'm not kidding.

the 'league' as we'll call it is made up of a bunch of guys, mostly US expats, all craving a little piece of Americana in Asia. enter the timeless game of softball…and trust me, they take the league damn seriously.
quickly recognizing this upon my arrival to the field, i knew i had to prove that Canucks can ball, soft, as well.
game on.

you may not take me as a super competitive guy, but i am, if for no reason other than a means to balance out skill deficiency. so with that in mind, i hustled my butt off to get under every fly ball. i got in front of the screaming liners. when i got to the plate, i made decent contact.
shit, i even knocked a little homerun jack.
and shit, i even struckout once, jack.

when the rubber turf pellets settled, i'd spent 3-hours in a softball gauntlet under the hot burning asian sun, with the goal of having my name called during this year's draft.
yeah, i said it. a draft. for any fantasy sports nerd like myself, this is a pretty cool concept. what's even better is that even if you get drafted in this league, you are still not guaranteed a roster spot. none of this 'everyone who shows up gets to play' crap. you either earn your playing time or you chew seeds on the bench.

so now i wait for the call email to see where i've been drafted, and gear up for the season.
things to do before said season:
1. replace golf glove with proper batting glove
2. find a drug store that carries A535
3. watch mr. baseball for inspiration
4. mention the latest freedomite, Kelly Kellie in this blog.

chicks dig the softball.

Maid in Hong Kong

i know what you're thinking, is it true???
is JLo getting her groove back by starring in a sequel to her 2002 pos movie, Maid in Manhattan?
the answer, of course, is god no.
simply put, we live in Hong Kong, and we now have a maid.
actually, the politically correct title is 'helper'.
we have a 'helper'.
a full-time, live-in, cooks us dinner, folds my underwear, 'helper'.
it still seems very odd, but yet very awesome at the same time.

prior to the move west (or is it east?) 8-months ago, we were given a floor plan to our soon-to-be new apartment. we were surprised how spacious it appeared on paper, especially coming from a single bedroom loft. most of the layout made sense, except for a little space at the backend of the unit. investigating further, we soon realized that this area was in fact the servant's quarters. an archaic idea for most of us libertarians, but in reality something that's fairly common over in this part of the world, especially in an expat compound. never did we dream that we'd actually use if for anything but storing my hockey equipment & mountain bike (total usage of both to date = zero).

let's be honest, when we first moved here, i was the 'helper'. fortunately, i was also treated well, and was allowed to sleep in the main bedroom. things were working out just fine.

we all know what happens next though, don't we....
someone put his big boy pants on and got himself a job. and how!
between AA & i, our schedules had us out the door before 8am and usually not back until after 8pm. we were burning the chicken finger at both ends….and working a ton too. after a few weeks of the inconvenient reality of a two-income household, along with the reassurance that i had properly acclimatized myself back into Jobland and was there to stay, we decided something had to be done.

enter Jackée, our 'helper'. she 'helps' take care of the place, keeps us eating well, and even keeps our little furball company during the day. i don't even see her as a 'helper', she's more our third roommate, with a little extra share of the chores. in all seriousness, she is great, and I think if anything, we are being very Canadian with our requests:

"If you don't mind, could you maybe, when you have time, if not too much trouble, make me some flapjacks?"

Hong Kong is a very different place. it's a densely populated bubble in Asia, where every expat belongs to a country club, taxis are taken for pocket change, air conditioning is life, and helpers move into your home to take good care of you. it's a phase for us, it won't last forever, so for now, please don't judge as we embrace the culturally diversities brought upon us. Don't hate the (former) helper….

Love Turns 40

Sunday marked a very special moment for my parents, as they celebrated 40 years of holy matrimony.
40 years!?
Perhaps best to assume they were young teens when they got married, and leave it at that.
Either way, a truly remarkable and amazing feat.

Their story unfolds like this -

They met each other for the first time on a boat.
Sounds like the plot from a romcom, but it's true.
It was 1967, and both were emigrating from the UK for frostier pastures in Canada.
To this day, my Dad still questions why he didn't choose to fly instead….joking of course.
So there they met, very cordial, very pleasant. They dined together, as a larger group, giving each other a little space, and spent the rest of the time at sea….reading, I suppose.
After arriving into Montreal, they went their own way to Toronto - Mum was starting a nursing position at Toronto General Hospital and Dad a sales job lined up before he left the UK.

Had it been fate that brought them to this land on the same vessel?
Yes, but seems fate needed just a little more time to develop.

They quickly started to adjust individually to Canadian living, enjoying the finer things the country had to offer, like Leaf Stanley Cup parades & centennial festivities - just your average annual events in TO.
Within three months they crossed paths once again. Where this actually happened, I'm not so sure….but the important thing is that it happened. All of a sudden, Toronto became that much more fun, as the pair became really close friends.
As the 60's wound down, the relationship picked up. One night, just after they'd cleaned up the fondue set and wiped down the mahogany, a funny thing happened. There was a look. A different look, like none before it. A sudden move lead to an embrace, an embrace leading to a kiss.
And that was it - the best way to end a perfectly good friendship.

A few years later, on a warm Welsh summer day in August, in the company of their families, friends and the holy spirit, Michael took Margaret, and in rightful turn, Margaret took Michael. The first day, of what has now turned to many, to be spent as husband and wife.
Skip a few years ahead (right past those honeymoon details), and along came a little bundle of joy, followed 3 years later by another little wonder.
2 was now 4, and family was formed.

From one coast to another, they would travel.
From one season to another, they would grow.
From one year to another, they would come, and,
From one year to another they would go.
But through all of it, the thick and thin, the good and the bad, there they were….together.
Just as strong as those first days in a foreign land, an inspiration to what love is all about.
It's with utmost pride and admiration that I congratulate you on this significant milestone.

Happy 40th, M&D.
Keep Making Magic.

i'm still standing

i know that's hard to believe, Freedomites, but i'm still here for you…even if you jest at the sheer mention of what 'pardyallthetime' even means anymore?
don't worry, i've heard them all -
'hardlyanytime', 'damnnearpassedhisprime', 'didntcaremuchforhisryhmes'....and so on.

do i blame the job for my lack of life sharing and general disappearing act? yes.
don't get me wrong, i understand we're all busy.
i'm not thinking i'm special simply because i have a job that has me out before 8 and back in after 9. i get it. i signed up for it, i'm a working stiff - plain and simple.

some nights i lay awake in bed, wondering if it might be best to just end the blogging for you, the fans. thinking about the constant checking of your feeds only to be disappointed, the 'toilet-read' that was and is now just 'toilet', the hope for some sign of "you've got Freedom 32' ringing out, and yet, it never comes.

…until now. and with this, the hope that the updates start to pick up again.
it feels like we've missed a lot since i last checked in.
about 30 ferry trip to/from Macau, 10 passport pages of stamps, 3 offices, and even some stuff that has nothing to do with work - friends from Vancouver here for a visit, a trip to Phuket, a Typhoon measuring 3/8 and probably a few little funny anecdotes that i normally would have shared but simply couldn't.

i've been sitting on blog post #99 for over a month now…thinking 'will I ever get to 100?'. well congratulations Mr. Hong Kong, this is your moment - #100.
but it's not about me, it's about you…those who have supported & encouraged. it's your numbers that i care more about….

40 - years of marriage for M&D in August
10 - years of wed for bro & sis'n'law
2 - jobs for Mags (for now)
1 - waterbug for Mabes & Leeroy (soon)
.5 - for the near miss, Mr. Chris

i'm still standing, thanks to you all.
and so, i leave you with this, a mere token of my appreciation.

Hotseat in the Frontseat

where is the craziest place you've ever…, you know…., had interview?
1 month in, working in Hong Kong continues to amaze me at times.
case in point - I believe my boss and I inadvertently created Asia's hottest new reality game show - 'Hotseat in the Frontseat'.

here's how it works:
first, we meet Mario, a potential new hire, in a remote location in Hong Kong.
after shaking hands, we immediately explain that we have another meeting starting in 30 mins across town.
as a result, we flag a taxi, new recruit Mario in the front seat, management in the back, and Hotseat in the Frontseat begins.

the meter's running, the sweat is dripping, the questions are flying.
does Mario have what it takes to impress the brass before the taxi pulls up to curb? it's close…, but a last second internet buzz word proves to be the difference maker. round 1 over.

bonus round!
the candidate gets invited to continue his grill over some grill, a quick set lunch…
be conservative with your order, Mario!.
chew, question, chew, blackberry.
this could go either way.

if he doesn't make the cut, we thank Mario for his time and look up for a second before ducking down into the blackberry.
however, if he's made it, we thank him for his time, ask him to go to the ferry to purchase Macau-crossing tickets for us, before ducking down into the blackberry.
you could cut this tension with a butter knife…which just so happens to be in front of me, with a basket of finely baked breads.
deliciously delirious, Hotseat in the Frontseat. catch it.

give me 4 days, i'll give you 4 countries

....and we're back. it's amazing what not sitting on a couch can do to a blog. sadly, my writing is going to take a bit of a beating in the short-term.
here's why -
a certain retiree got pulled back into active service. yes, the unthinkable has happened - i have a new job. i'll keep the details vague, but you're virtually looking at the new digital marketing director for a small up & coming firm in Macau.
*note - titles are larger than they may career

let's catch up on the rest.
spent last weekend in Singapore with double A. we were very impressed with the city/country as a whole. prior to arrival, we had been warned that the city/country was nothing more than a 'cleaner version of HK'. we disagree. Singapore was a breathe of fresh air (sorry it just came out), with its tree-lined streets, hyper modern infrastructure, mixed with just a dash of colonial architecture. and hot….very hot. not humid, like HK, just hot. we made good use of the pool. i am told though that the allure of the place perhaps diminishes after you stay a while. for now, i'm left with a very pleasant taste in my mouth, likely from the multiple Singapore Slings consumed. btw - if you go to the famous Long Bar for said Sling, expect to pay $25 CAD for the pleasure. it's an expensive city, but worth it in my humble opinion.
*added value item - the free candy as you walk through immigration at the airport.

this is where the fun begins.
Monday evening, the dynamic traveling duo parted ways at the airport. you see, my first assignment as part of the new gig was to attend a conference in Shanghai - the 'real deal' China, folks. as such, i flew directly from the Pore, a 5-hour jaunt, and arrived into Padong Airport around 11pm. customs was a breeze, no iron-clad communism poking and prodding me every step of the way. in fact, the customs officer couldn't have been more pleasant and i even considered using the 'rate me' interface that all entry booths feature. picked up my bag, scurried through the 'friendly' late night crowd at arrivals and jumped into a taxi.

'where to, my man?'
'the Intercontinental, good sir….and step on it, will you?'
'right away, friend.'

unfortunately, that's dialogue you'd be more likely to find in the classic comedy Shanghai Noon, and not my experience at all. no, my best approach was to point at the name of the hotel in an email i had on my phone….as English was not going to happen…not even a little.
the gentlemen seemed agreeable to my passive explanation of the directions, and we were off. fun fact about taxis in Shanghai - the driver is sat in a fiberglass cocoon-like structure, no doubt for his own personal safety. no apologies required to the passengers who feel like they've been arrested. it took about 40-minutes to reach the hotel (and dude was driving FAST). i'll be honest, i was getting a little concerned given i thought it was closer to half that to my destination. i even tried to ask the driver if we were 'close'…to which he responded 'close?' and laughed with hysteric non-understanding. ultimately, all was fine and we made it. no tip.

upon check-in, my company (eager to impress), had left me a couple of goodies to finish up the day with a happy-ending - a new MacBook Pro and a Blackberry Bold. i like these guys already. conference kicked off the next morning, a somewhat lackluster experience - a sentiment shared by many. i did quite enjoy the part where i pretended to be sitting in on a UN junket, given the majority of the speakers were dropping Mandarin, requiring yours truly to rock a translation headset. pretty cool, albeit most of the good bits from the presentations were somewhat lost in translation i fear.
managed to sneak out that night with some colleagues for a dinner at a very cool downtown bar/restaurant and walked around the river-side boardwalk known as the 'Bund'.

day 2 was a snore, and the boss made the call to jet out early. back to HK, where i was looking forward to settle down for a bit. nope, there's work to be done. woke up the next morning (which so happens to be today) and jumped on a ferry for Macau. for those keeping count, that makes 4 countries - Singapore, China, HK, Macau. my passport is starting to get some major international cred.

rollin' my dice in Macau

it has been an interesting last couple of days for the Freedom - a very innocent online encounter set off a chain reaction of events that lead to me attending a private party on the roof of the Grand Hyatt in Macau. let's rewind.

on Wed, i was 'Linkedin' to a local headhunter in HK. typically i'm not one to frequent the networking site, yet i was more than happy to accept the invitation of someone who could actually do something for me (unlike most people who simply treat it like Facebook with business cards). shortly after the virtual introduction, we met in-person and i was fairly impressed with their specialization in the digital marketing space. after a productive chat, i thanked them for their time and hoped i would hear from them in the near future.

24 hours 'near' enough? literally within a day, the hunter emailed to let me know they had already found a potential opportunity for me and asked if they could set-up a meeting for Friday. i checked my calendar (don't laugh), and told them to make it happen. turns out this company is HQ'd in Macau, with an office in both HK & mainland China, but requested for me to come to Macau to meet with their directors. it's only an hour ferry from home and they were covering the cost of transportation....basically a win-win for me as i had yet to visit the island in my travels. for those unfamiliar with Macau, it's essentially the Las Vegas of Asia and a former Portuguese colony.

time to put my interview game-face on. as per usual, i do some pre-meeting research on the company, relate my experiences to their core-service offering, and, reluctantly, shave my trademark stubble down to enhance professionalism. done. only thing left is to dust off the suit and i'm out the door.
check that.
on second look, it appears that i'll actually need to vacuum off my suit. apparently, since last wearing the styles, a certain pussycat has left a little fur love from top to bottom. of course, i could never stay mad at my little hairy baby....and after a quick clean-up, i'm good to go.

the ferry terminal for Macau is only a few transit stops away, and the company was nice enough to book me a 'super-class' ticket. this doesn't amount to much, aside from getting served a very simple snack consisting of a sandwich, juice, and some mystery jelly in a plastic container upon boarding, but i'm certainly not complaining. sadly, the day is fairly overcast so there's not much to see as we approach 'Vegas island', but i'm excited to see what this place has to offer. upon arrival, i'm met by someone from the company and quickly whisked away to their office.

i met with Director #1, and i can already tell that this isn't your typical interview. he begins by telling me about his extremely diverse background, a little about the company, and a lot about the changes he wants to make to it. we then take a tour around, and i'm essentially introduced to almost everyone in the place, which covers four floors. i am beginning to feel more like a boss and less like a recruit. my meetings continue with other various senior staff, where again it's less about me and more about the company roadmap and how i can already start to help....honestly, the strangest interview i've ever had, which is about to get stranger.

after chatting for 3ish hours, it's now 6pm. i mention this due to the fact that my return ferry ticket had been booked for 6. "no worries", they say, "we'll book you another one". apparently it's a busy night getting off the island, as the earliest they can get me out is 9pm. this is further complicated by the fact that my main director contacts also have a private black tie dinner they need to attend starting at 7:30pm. it's discussed, and the guys decide that they'll give me a tour of the island, on route to their dinner, and we'll figure out the rest as we go. cool, i got nowhere to be.

the tour is actually quite appreciated; a sort of inside look into the history & development of the island. it reminds me of what it would have been like to drive around the desert in Nevada before they broke ground on the Flamingo. i'm amazed by some of the properties and the sheer size of them, including a place called 'Galaxy' which is set to open this weekend. as we move around, it's clear that Macau is going to blow Vegas out of the water...literally, estimated to eventually be 10-times the size of it. for anyone that's been to LV, the thought of that is utter insanity. we finish our tour by checking out the Venetian floor, and make our way over to their gala event at the Grand Hyatt, which turns out to be an unveiling of a new high-end alcohol beverage. problem is, we still got time until my ferry departs, and my name isn't on the guest list. once again, i feel more like a 5-year partner than a 1st day candidate, as they tell me just to follow them up to the roof.

the event is fairly cool, nothing super lavish or blinged out, but i can tell there are some decent sized players in attendance. i only have about an hour to kill, but that doesn't alleviate some final moments of awkwardness. the guys start introducing me to some of the people in attendance, to which these party-goers naturally ask - "and who are you?".
i quickly wise up and casually/safely offer that "i'm with them". oh, and of course i'm fresh out of business cards. finally, the time comes for me to jet off...somewhat upset that i'll miss out on the first taste of the new booze. we shake hands, thus marking the official end of the 'interview', nearly 6 hours after it began.

back on the ferry towards home, only this time with a plate of rice & chicken feet? in front of me, and i start to wonder how a potential next interview could be topped by this one...? i'm going to go with taking the company Maserati for a spin, saying a few words at a shareholder meeting, and perhaps giving away one of their daughters at her wedding.....sounds reasonable, no?
Only in Macau, folks.

shorty/wannabe a thug

we're going with a very literal title for this one, in that it's going to be a short post. the thug part, well, we'll get to that.

the Spring months in Hong Kong are ripe with long weekends, filled with random holidays such as 'Buddha's Birthday'. as a result, i have been able to spend more & more QT with dubA, though the weather continues to tease us; while it's still sweltering with humidity on a daily basis, the mornings tend to start off overcast which limits our eagerness to venture off to a day spent on a far away beach. i know, tough life we lead.

as such, a planned adventure to a distant piece of sand on Saturday instead turned into 'let's go to Ocean Park!' Ocean Park is perhaps the Hong Kong equivalent to Niagara Falls' Marineland - a place that in theory sounds awesome, but ultimately is a bit fishy. i'm not sure what it says about the land i live in that this is again one of those 'must-see' attractions, but hey, they have pandas. it's a quick 20-minute bus ride down the road from us, followed by a gondola up the side of a mountain once you get there....kudos to the urban planner who decided it was a good idea to pop-up an amusement park on the peak.

taking a step back for a sec, Hong Kong (in general) is very organized. everything is well sign-posted, the MTR is ultra modern, and the city is set-up in such a way that you can get around without ever going outside, if you so choose. [begin rant] unfortunately this order does not transcend to the majority of its inhabitants. rules are tossed out the window when foot traffic is involved. try getting anywhere on the streets in the heart of Wanchai. i guarantee it will make you angry. it is chaos - plain and simple, as you battle your way through multiple lanes of pedestrians walking in both directions, not to mention the cars, bikes, and trolleys. even once you've entered an MTR station, there's a painted area with arrows showing you where you should stand to board a train vs. the area where riders wishing to get off are meant to pass. that doesn't seem to matter to a lot of people, as they march right down the middle and expect passengers to climb over top of them [end of rant]

now, back to that part about the thug. we had to queue for the gondola up the mountain from the base of the park, a not-so-awesome 45min wait, but what are you going to do?
how about 'budding' in line?.
3 older ladies (likely from the mainland) slowly but surely slithered there way from somewhere in the back to where we were in line. at first, we assumed that these 'ladies' were with the party in front of us. when said party decided to speak in an aggressive tone to the 'ladies', we realized that they were simply cheating the line, yet continued to remain in front of us. i was more than a little steamed, but given the obvious language barrier we just had to take it for what it was. there's only a few things they make me really pissy, and line budding is one of them. alas we sauntered on, inching closer to our sky carriage when all of a sudden, i get a rub to the right of me, and not the pleasant variety. i didn't even get a good look at the guy, but i could sense and literally feel him trying to get past us from our rear. without really thinking, i give the dude an elbow, box him out, and turn around to get in his face and say "what the hell do you think you're doing??!" i then realize the gentleman is likely in his late 60's, accompanying three little kids,who are no doubt out on a weekend of fun with grandpa. Aline laughed, i turned back to face the front and continue to limp along.
ok, so maybe not thuggish ruggish behaviour, but certainly a bit of a pattern forms when people do me wrong.

the rest of the day was just peachy, with little to no confrontation. my fave ride without a doubt was a 'drop-zone'esque thrill, that takes you up about 30 floors then drops you like a disappointed modeling agency. even better, the name of the ride: "The Abyss - Turbo Drop". even better still, the tagline for the ride below. cute that they added a sea lion to make it appeal to children.

hello, Hong Kong!

i had a long overdue chat with my bro, Nark, this week, catching up on the happenings of Hong Kong vs. Oakville. i told him that it was dripping humidity here, and mostly, my days still consisted of GTL & tuna sandwiches. he told me they were finishing up the final pieces of their powder room remodeling (or just simply 'bathroom', for those who don't partake in the powdery stuff).

the conversation then shifted back to the topic of 'me' and how I should take advantage of all this available time on my hands to truly 'master' something.
i.e. to start something, from scratch perhaps, and work at it until i reach a yet to be determined goal.
alright, i'm game....whatya got?

Nark's first suggestion: training for a marathon.
not a bad option straight out of the gates. it's essentially free, and relies more or less solely on my two feet and a heartbeat. unfortunately, i worry that the latter would give out on me well before i ever hit that 26th mile, and for that reason, next...

my follow-up idea was to train for a decathlon. figure it's the perfect sport for a generalist like me. only problem being that i'm missing a pole vault pit...and a javelin...and many other key elements.

what about a language?
this is something that Aline has been bugging me about as well. there's no doubt that learning Cantonese or Mandarin would help me understand this new home of mine and would look good on the CV.
my concerns - i can make sense of something like French or Spanish, but we're now talking about a script-based alphabet. it's really like a big memory game, flipping over symbols in my head to read a simple street sign.
i also fear that by the time i figure it all out, we likely won't be living in Asia (or Richmond) for it to have much practical use.
next.

cooking?
hmm...i am interested in adding more than stir-fry's & fajitas to our weekly menu.
though, i don't think i could stand the comparisons between my experience in the kitchen to that painfully annoying Amy Adams, and her role as that Julie chick....or was it Julia...?
been done. next.

modeling?
ha. although, i do give my agency credit, they are certainly persistent with the casting calls. i just had another 'potential' gig floated my way, this time for jeans. think i'll need to channel a little Brett Favre for this one, wrist watch and all. as always, i will keep you posted, but let's be honest, looks are not really something i can 'master'. just like Gaga, i was born this way.
next.

we could have kept going for hours on this, but we hung up our Skype call agreeing to put my future escapades on hold. however, later that same day, i read a local CNNGo article that has given me an itch that i think needs to be scratched.....
i wanna be a star! well, to be more specific, i want to try to write some material for an open-mic routine. although, even thinking about going through with it scares the hell outta me. it's one thing to give a toast at a wedding, in front of friends/family, but another thing to come up with 'bits' for an audience of strangers, who are probably drunk and likely funnier than i am. and it's true, i can't really do much about the funny part, but i can certainly try to take the edge off myself a little with some pre-show binge drinking.

and so i write....
nothing all that novel about me writing...but with this, I have a clear focus of making people laugh. i really don't have any idea how my blog posts are received, and for me to get up on stage and perform more or less my blog material will now offer me some real-time insight into my ramblings.

and so i write....
but first, i need to set a goal. sadly i think it'll be atleast a month or so to workout some decent material for a 5-minute set. let's say, on the record, that before Freedom 32 turns Freedom 33 in July, i will get up on stage.
in more immediate baby-step terms, i'm also going to build up my confidence at a poetry-reading night down at a local bar. i figure i already have 2 poems in the can, and can bang one or two more out pretty quick (plus there's a free drink for every poet). i'll even commit to debuting these before the month is out. i figure the poetry crowd should go a little easier on me, should i bomb, with heckles coming back at me like sweet limericks on a breezy summer day.
you've been a terrific audience, drive safely.

wet & wild weekend

yes, i may be all the way over here in Hong Kong, but that didn't prevent me from following along with everyone else on this turbulent long weekend of highs and lows. where do i even begin?

i suppose the emotional roller coaster tipped off with the royale wedding of Prince Will.i.am to the lovely HRH Kate (she's still not a Princess in my books). i may lose my British citizenship by confessing that i really had no interest in any of it. was it magical? sure, i suppose....just not really my thing. sorry to be such a disappointment to you both, mother & father.

next, how bout that Obama, flat out killing it this weekend! first with his roasting of all things Trump & red state at the White House correspondents' dinner (it's nearly 20-minutes but definitely worth a view). he then proceeded to get comfy in his favourite chair, popped some corn, and was treated to a little video on demand presentation of Get Osama. do i think the World is better off without the man around? definitely. did news of his death warrant a national street party, reminiscent of (fill in the sports team) winning the (fill in the big game)? probably not.

finally, some content most relevant to the Canadian Freedom contingent, Election 2011 is now in the books. given my change of address and resident status, i was unable to partake in the vote and missed out on a lot of the usual campaignisms that were tossed around this go. as the snow settles, it appears that things couldn't have gone any better for the Conservatives, moving from a minority government to a majority government in an election they really didn't want (oops, Ignatieff). as well, the NDP party have to feel good about where they netted out, yet the question remains as to whether they'll be able to make an impact given the aforementioned straight sets victory? let's hope so.

how was my weekend on a personal level? let's be honest, there's very little i could do or say to hope to engage you all in some witty Freedom banter. i will try though, with a simple dialogue between myself and Aline. a little preface to set the scene -

Aline and Freedom 32 walk into their apartment after a lovely brunch & flower market excursion. Upon opening the front door, the two look at each other with surprise and trepidation.

AA: "Oh my god! I think we've been robbed!"
F32: "I don't know.....you think?"
AA: "Our rug is gone, and the air conditioning is cranked....it wasn't even on when we left."
F32: "Hmmm...yes, true, but our TV, laptop and everything else of any value appears to be untouched..."
AA: "What about the rug!!?"
F32: "Well, i'm not quite sure yet, but wasn't it nice of the robber to cool down the place for us?"

to be fair, i was also confused as to what the hell was going on. turns out that it was not a case of theft...simply a case of tomfoolery. the management of our building would soon alert us that "someone" had turned on the emergency fire hose in our hallway, essentially creating an indoor water slide throughout our entire apartment. fortunately, they got to it fairly quickly, and were able to soak up much of the water. the lone casualty appears to have been our living room rug, found to be rolled up in the bathtub similar in appearance to how i would imagine you'd try to hide a dead body. admittedly, i didn't immediately consider how/where Romo netted out during this ordeal but was pleased to see him more or less undisturbed from his afternoon nap in our bedroom closet.

....and Freedom reigns.

the Bali files, episode 1: locked in the trunk of a 5star

greetings all, it is I, your long forgotten virtual friend.
my apologies, the cpu didn't actually make the journey with me to Bali, and thus, the update has been sitting with me for some days now.
Bali was superb, thanks for asking.
we had a great time there, albeit a very quick 3 day/4 night stay.
i will try to keep it brief, no need for one of those long, mass/spam emails where i provide you with every little detail, down to the hour of what we got up to. a daily recant ought to do i reckon.

Friday -
good Friday......, try great Friday, as we set off on our trip to Indonesia, flying via Singapore with, ironically enough, Singapore Airlines (a good overall airline experience). total of 7ish hours of travel time, numbed a little by the Fighter (the movie) and Street Fighter (the game). also had one of those 'world is a small place' moments upon chatting with a guy in the arrival customs line to discover that he not only grew up in my hometown of Oakville, but actually went to same high school as i did, 15 years my WOSS senior. isn't that something.

Saturday -
our first chance to see the resort in daylight, and it didn't disappoint. dare i say, the St. Regis is perhaps the nicest place we've stayed at. more than enough room in our chambre, complete with tasteful decor and nice touches including a full soaker tub along with a persistently filled plate of fruit. oh, and they also had a breakfast that just wouldn't quit. since our plan was more euro than all-in, we certainly made the most of this each and every morning. a quick rundown - smoothies, fresh juices, eggs benny, french toast croissants....money. bring on the beach.

Sunday -
lazy beach day, which was more or less the theme of our holiday. the Regis has a very nice little set-up, with padded loungers & cabanas. weather was hot, which required an hourly dip on average. if there was one complaint, it would be that the ocean wasn't fit for swimming. a ton of garbage was constantly washing in, making it an easy decision to opt for the pool. ok, let's say there were 2 complaints. the other being that the resort was extremely overpriced for pretty much everything. drinks for $20, meals for $50....ricoculous.

Monday -
more of the same really. explored the fairly intricate lazy river system that flows throughout the grounds, and made plans to leave the resort that evening for another adjacent beach town, the highlights of such included:
*one of us getting locked in the suite's bathroom, requiring housekeeping to essentially break the door down.
*embarking on a 10km taxi drive to dinner, hitting a traffic jam, resulting in a 1.5 hour ride.
*enjoying the driving habits of the Balinese people, who turned 2 narrow lanes into 5 very messy streams of scooters, cars, and buses.

sadly, our trip was over as of mid-morning on Tuesday.
all things considered, definitely a great beach destination & top-notch accommodation. it does beg the question though of where it may fit into the Freedom's top-10 beach vacations of all-time...?
and so, here it is, the *unofficial list* (not verified with Aline):

1. Zanzibar (Tanzania) - powder white sand and literally isolated from the rest of the World
2. Ko Phan Ngan (Thailand) - hut on the beach type of set-up, where you can roll out of bed into the Gulf.
3. Naxos (Greece) - unlike some of the other popular Greek islands, this place features amazingly desolate & clothing-optional beaches reached via scooter. add a Mythos & Gyros to taste.
4. Cancun (Mexico) - say what you will about this underaged drinking, booty-shaking habitat...it still has one of the nicest stretches of beach you'll find. and did i mention the booty-shaking?
5. Maui (Hawaii) - who doesn't dream of checking out this un-continental piece of the US pie. extra points for anyone who can sneak their way onto a better hotel's beach, i.e. the Four Seasons.
6. Bali (Indonesia) - this one is fresh in the mind, and so I need to refer to it fondly. no question a great beach, however, this one makes the list based on the resort.
7. Sardinia (Italy) - this is a very random destination, that we ended up at based on an apartment swap. we blew up an oven and crashed a car....and thus i can't really remember if the beach was nice....i think it was.
8. White House (Jamaica) - add a dash of Sandals with a little Team Morgan and you get a family vacation to remember. i even have the t-shirt to prove it.
9. Ha Long Bay (Vietnam) - hundreds of little mountain tips popping out from the ocean, offering many a secluded beach. i may or may not have stripped down on one of these seclusions.
10. Tofino (BC) - no way i can leave Canada off this list. pain in the butt to get to, but one of the great white north's natural strips of beauty. bring a wetsuit.

full trip pics are here.

horse track suits

last night, i was finally able to cross-off another one of the must-see places in Hong Kong - the Happy Valley Racetrack. a cool venue that dates back to 1850ish, it makes a lot of the HK tourist lists of things you ought to check out while in the city. it just so happens that we look down on the track from our building, so it was really an overdue visit. good times had by all, as we were also celebrating l'anniversaire du Monsieur Laurent. a buffet dinner paired with bottomless glasses of San Miguel and we were off. of course, a trip to the ponies isn't complete without a few bets. thank god i'm lucky in love, because i could very well be the World's worst gambler, going 0 for 6 on my studs throughout the course of the evening. to add insult to injury, i actually cheered on the #2 horse from start to end in the 6th race, celebrating his 'place' finish, only to later realize that i'd actually wagered on the #3 horse (who it just so happens finished last).
loser, loser, fill the booze, sir

as with many a social gathering, there were a few Freedom Chasers in the mix, intrigued as to what i would/wouldn't do for the sake of the blog. the conversation then took an odd diversion to the topic of personal grooming, and whether or not i had the minerals to go for a wax....specifically the minerals & crackerjack. perhaps it was the San Miguel talking, however, my greatest concern wasn't so much the pain or the emasculation factor, but more the question of "how much is this gonna cost me?" we all had a good laugh (at my expense) and closed out the evening with some x's & o's.

i'm guessing the idea must have stuck in my sub conscience, as i can vividly remember dreaming (nightmaring) about taking the plunge into the subculture of men's spa treatments. i kid you not, i can still recall the surge of virtual pain i felt as the epilation tore through my entire soul. i woke up with a startle and a very subtle pat-down just to be sure it had not already transpired. over my morning granola & yogurt (bikini-ready breakfast of champions), i must admit i started to have second thoughts about actually going through with this. not so much for myself, but all of you out there. i'm not sure if it's the type of content that you're craving from this bi-weekly raghag. or maybe some of you have a deep down interest in seeing me take on a little pain...? what say you, people, care to make me your own personal voodoo doll? the decision is all yours.

for today, at least, i traded in the fear factor for an eggs benny with the HSBC wives club. yes, i realize i'm playing for both teams - golf with the guys one week, brunch with the gals the next. just think of me as your #1 option for a rent-a-friend; the go-to when you got-none. this may even turn into a business of sorts....what do you think of Pardy's Platonic Escort services?

with that said, happy Easter everyone!
Aline & yours truly are off to Bali for a few days. as with all my misadventures, if the hotel has internet, there will be a live blogcast from the sand with absolutely zero shots of my toes dangling off a lounger...that is a promise.