'tis the season to make the internet

it's always nice to feel that something you do at work actually helps someone out..
i find that is sometimes a bit of a stretch when you work in the world of advertising, usually trying to stuff something down ye consumer's throat (or pants if you work for a porn site).
i'm proud to say that i actually feel like a project we worked on is giving back a little.

http://wwe5.bchydro.com/2008holiday/


nothing super crazy about this site, fairly simple execution, but fun enough to play with a few times... or so you'd think.
this site has been going for about a week and a half, and it's had (as of 4:14pm PST on Dec 20) 531,665 'interactions'.
pretty incredible really.
and the best part is that BC Hydro has committed to donate $25 grand to a local BC Children's hospital.

makes ya feel all warm inside....
oops, sorry, that's copy for the porn site i'm working on next.
xoxo

From Russia with Roulette

i like to party...., and i'd try anything once....(well, maybe not everything).
but there are certain things that just don't tempt me.
never been a big fan of pain, so put the whips and chains away, honey.
never really understood the whole autoerotic asphyxiation scene...., (see Michael Hutchence for that shiz).
and, quite frankly, i don't 'get off' with the thought of potentially 'offing' myself....unlike Mark Ruffalo's brother.
who?
Mark Ruffalo, you know the guy.., in those movies... - "Zodiac," "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," and this year's "Blindness."
well, Mark's bro, let's call him The Zohan, was into the whole gun play scene...
after a 'friend' of his was charged with shooting him, it became apparent today that it was all just one big misunderstanding:

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - A day after actor Mark Ruffalo's brother died of a gunshot wound to the head, a lawyer for the woman arrested in the case says she was merely a witness to a game of Russian Roulette.
Scott Ruffalo, 39, died late Monday night at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, Beverly Hills Police Sgt. Renato Moreno said.
Authorities continued Tuesday to investigate the role of Shaha Mishaal Adham, 26, who turned herself in to police Monday after authorities issued a warrant for her arrest for investigation of attempted murder.
Adham's initial court appearance was scheduled for Wednesday.
Her attorney downplayed her role late Tuesday, telling the New York Daily News that she witnessed Scott Ruffalo shoot himself during a game of Russian Roulette. Ronald Richards told the newspaper that Adham had gone to Scott Ruffalo's condo to pick up a set of keys and fled after the shooting.

I'd always thought that 'Russian Roulette' was simply a myth you hear in high school, like teachers having sex with students, and band geeks running the school...
apparently i was wrong.

so kids, if i can give you any advice at all....
put down those guns and start nailing your teachers!!
i can't wait to be a father.....

WalMart 'til the day I die....

there are so many things wrong with this story....

VALLEY STREAM (WABC) -- A Wal-Mart employee died and four others were hurt in the Black Friday rush to get into the Valley Stream store this morning.

The injuries occurred as the shoppers crammed into the Wal-Mart when the doors opened at 5 a.m.

Police said the shoppers knocked the man to the ground at 5:03 a.m., three minutes after the store opened.

A 34-year-old Wal-Mart employee suffered an apparent heart attack and was rushed to a nearby hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

First off, and not to be a dick, but does "Black Friday" really make that much of a difference on the prices at WalMart? Isn't this the same place which claims 'the lowest price is the law'??
Or maybe that is Zellers...
Either way, I am astonished that such a mass crowd of people would even think about lining up for a store like WalMart..., unless of course they had a clown making balloon animals or something...

Also, why the rush people? Was there a limited edition sweater-set combo available for the fastest 100 people through the turnstiles?
According to the reports, the doors opened at 5am, and the deceased was knocked down at 5:03am....
It seems a little sketchy to me, almost as if this was a targeted attack..., cause of course we need to have a conspiracy theory attached.

Finally, and albeit sadly, how does a 34-yr old man, that gets knocked down, die of a heart attack?
I could see someone crushed or smothered, but a heart attack?
Guessing the gentleman wasn't in the best of shape, or perhaps all that darned excitement was just too much.

Another reason, if you needed one, to avoid working at WalMart.

target="_blank"

how rude....

'how rude'...., how's about how is this news?!
shame on media sites for picking this up, and especially Canoe for its choice of running this as a feature off its homepage....





if i were reporting on this -

...and finally, in the who gives a shit news, looks like psuedo-celeb from 1990 Jodie Sweetin will be starring in a new show called "Empty House" after her rock solid 16-month marriage ended this past week.
for the former child um, star, this is now her 2nd breakup in as many years, after kicking a nasty little meth addiction.....kids these days.
i can only imagine how her life could have been different if only she had a twin, and of course some talent.
Speaking of which.....

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen walk into a bar.
they say to the bartender "give us two ass hurts"
the bartender says "how do you make an ass hurt?"
the Olsen twins say "well, Bob Saget hands you a chocolate milk that he just made, and you wake up 3 hours later, lying on your stomach...."

i'm here all week :)

a dog named cat stevens

gooood mooorning viet...
meh..too easy.....
yes folks, here I am, reporting from sunny Vietnam...
it's apparent I'm not at the beach, as I blog it, waiting for a ride to the airport back to Saigon...(Ho Chi Minh City, if you're down)...
i won't bore you with the play by play, for the many out there that tend to detail out (see brag) their hourly report of a trip you can't help but feel distant from.

i will tell you that i got a massage yesterday, and well, i loved it! :)
to be honest, i'm not much of a massage guy back home.
but well, there's something about being over here, the ocean as a backdrop, that compels one to feel the need for a little rubbing...
now, before your mind runs wild, let me stop you short...(hehe)..
it wasn't one of 'those' massages...my girlfriend can attest to that in the bed next to me...
no matter - i really did enjoy it, although i did feel like the little Vietnamese girl was taking out some sort of frustration on me - as she flat out was pummeling me at times. and she couldn't have been more than 80 lbs.....bless her heart...

that's it for now from the lone star country....
rest assured, i am keeping it real over here, not eating McDonalds...
(in actual fact, they do not have McDonalds over here..., just KFC).
I think it's 'cause Ho Chi Minh resembles a certain chicken man...
you be the judge...




Xin chào!

the soup

my kinda show..., if you haven't seen it, I recommend it.
it basically sums up 90% of weekly television for what it really is - the same old bullshit: all day, everyday.
this of course being reality TV.
there is seriously nothing else on anymore.

the soup does an amazing job pulling out the very best of the worst on TV.
and then, just let the LOLs begin...

here's a little sample -

jumping the shark

Volume 1 - How does one jump the shark?
i don't claim to be an expert, per se, on the jumping of the shark....
however, barely a day goes by where i don't claim that someone/something has indeed jumped the shark...
i've been referencing shark jumping for quite some time now.., and strangely, i'm not really tired of it...
maybe it's because the kids never picked up on it...
maybe it's just a stupid term that I won't let go...
(or maybe, it, and thus I, have jumped the shark....!)
don't go there, girlfriend...

so, back to the shark tank...

my most recent case of the jump off came 9/10 of the way through the last book i read...
and for those that know me well...., i pick up a good book as often as i pick up around the house... (am I right, honey....??)

i was at the tail end of The Kite Runner, and to be honest, it was a pretty good book.
slow at first, but it certainly picked up - not only an interesting story, but a unique perspective into growing up in Afghanistan....
if you plan on reading it, i'd click over to a Romo post right about now...

towards the end of the book, the main character has grown up, living in the USA now, and heads back to Afghanistan to eventually search for his illegitimate nephew.
ok... i guess that happens from time to time...
oh, and i forgot to mention that his childhood servant friend turned out to be his half brother...who was sexually assaulted by a bully classmate...
well, wouldn't you know it - when our main character goes to rescue the boy in Afghanistan, who do you think had stolen the young illegitamate nephew...
that's right, the bully rapist...., who ends up beating our main character to a pulp until the illegitimate nephew steps in and saves the day.
talk about irony.......
all i know is, the shark got jumped my friends, and it was a skim read from there on out.....
it's back to my SI subscription....

xoxo

my peeps, what are you waiting for...?

stop fighting it, and get on board....
if not for me, so be it..., but Romo is really starting to take this personally...
i'll give you another week, the chart best be rising....

re: stupid pet tricks....

i see lil' Romo has some competition apparently...
a sect of kitties who all like to chase black elastics...
and are all named Romo....

i thought the roof was romo's arch nemesis, but now I see....
it's actually The White Romo...
starring in "The Late Show Kitty Face-off".
these albino pussies have nothing on you, buddy....
this isn't over, not by a long shot...

stupid pet tricks

if only romo could bark, I'd have the first dog living inside a cat's body...
i've got him to play fetch..., next step is taking him for a walk...
and finally, the ultimate goal - get him (and subsequently me) on Letterman...
Late Show, here's my.., umm.., I mean Romo's audition tape...
call me, we're ready to rock it!

unstick my ride

I promise I won't turn this blog purely into my attempt at a bumper sticker parody...
but i still think it could be a great idea...

instead, dare I say it.., I may need to start a 2nd blog!!
oh the irony...blogger boy means business....
i figure, what the hell, why not give it a try.
who knows, maybe I can exploit my interactive network and get a proper site built up...
maybe sprinkle a little web 2.0 in there, add a few buzz media words like facebook and RSS...and finish off with a little user generated content

i swear there is so much clutter out there right now, that is the biggest hurdle...
everyone/every business thinks they are so special...., have something that all of us consumers want a piece of.
that's why.., in these tough times, people need something simple....something sticky...
unstick my ride people...


just you wait my peeps....

To: that broad down the bar...

a piece of advice: don't mess with a boy, his gal, and her Cowboys...
let me first start off by saying that my least favourite people in the world are rude & selfish people...
the kind of people that don't give a shit about anyone else, don't feel they need to follow the rules of etiquette, and are just generally a-holes.

case in point - we're at a bar (to remain nameless) to watch the Cowboys get their asses handed to them. upon arrival, there were 4 separate games on with under 8 people in the entire bar. as such, we ask the bartender if we can switch one of the screens over to the aforementioned Cowboys game.
and then, what would happen next would turn your mild mannered blogger into a full fledged rager.....
some broad decides to inform us that she is currently watching 3 of those 4 games...
umm.., excuse me..., what was that Rain Main?
now i'm a fan of the ol' pigskin, don't get me wrong.., but to claim that I can follow 3 games at a time (without the aid of a ticker or the internet) is complete BS.
anywho, this broad doesn't want to bend on this issue upon my asking her if she is indeed Rain Man; and apparently, she tells me she 'wakes up early every Sunday to run the football triathlon' at said bar.
this is where i lose it....and sorry kids, a few f-bombs slipped through...
i've never been one for confrontation, and anyone who knows me understands that it takes a whole lot to get me riled up. so congrats ms. thing.., you succeeded.
fortunately, the only things exchanged in this situation were words.
not to say i would even dream of anything else.., but i have been known to crank things up a notch to the 'wet & wild' approach of beer dumping on heads.
so, broad down the bar, consider yourself lucky...
and if a future Cowboys game is not available on cable, we'll go for a round 2.
it's on....

Obama for Prime Minister

there is a viral video kicking around which should make us all so proud to live north of the 49...
it is beyond ignorant..., to the point that I don't really feel like posting it. (plus, Perez already posted it sooooo yesterday)
overall, the content is not that shocking....fairly stereotypical close-minded stuff from our brothers to the south.
what is alarming though is where the video in question is filmed.
Not Georgia, Not Bama, Not Kentuck....
god damn Ohio....!
a state that essentially borders us up here..., short of a great lake in the way...
and thank god for that h20...
keep these bastards away from us...
i never quite understood why Ohio was such a 'swingin' state...
i just assumed that it should be a 'blue' as per the other normal states that surround it.
i may have to rethink that whole Buckeye fan thing.

i must admit, i don't really know everything about Obama...
i haven't really been following his platform too closely...
i'm afraid to say that i've sorta just jumped on the bandwagon.
but, doesn't it just make sense...?
the U.S. is in such a mess (and has been for some time), and it now has an incredible opportunity to send a message...
not just for it's own global image, but for its own people.
to show its citizens that it is possible for everyone to succeed in life, not just the old cracker ass crackers.
even though i think the idea of 'change' is terribly overused, it really is that simple.
Obama = Change..., no matter what that really means.
and he's got a mean jump shot!



compare the skills....
i can't understand how he didn't win!!??

Low hanging fruit....

a buddy of mine is obsessed with a new phenomenon sweeping the nation....
well, maybe not a new phenomenon, but an idea that someone had and was first to market.
it's called Hot Chicks with Douchebags.
good for a quick laugh, as we've all been there......we just didn't have the genius idea to throw it online (and also publish a book).

in my ever-continuing crusade to come up with a Million$ idea, i'm thinking about starting up the next craze for the kids to follow intently.
i'm calling it "Dude, where's my car??.., oh right, under all those stupid fucking bumper stickers."
I got the idea on my many weekend road trips down to the USofA. Not to say that we Canucks don't rock our own bumpers in a similar fashion, however, our brothers to the South take it to a whole new level.
I'm just not sure what goes through people's heads when they decide to take the plunge into giving their 'whips' that first bumper tat. I guess it goes back to my whole philosophy around blogs:
Do you really need to share, and, does anyone really care?
Of course, I am already aware of my hypocrisy in continuing to 'blog up a storm', so I can't really rag on the whole bliggity blog thing too much.

That leaves me to rip on my new favourite friends, the bumper sticker aficionados.
Perhaps it started with the ol' standard happy face/have a nice day sticker...(I say this purely based on something I saw in the movie Forrest Gump).
And of course, those of us with even a hint of political friskiness wouldn't dare drive anywhere without a shout out to their main man/main Hilary.
But it gets worse..., so much worse....
I won't ruin it for you now, but I'm a man on a mission....to scare these bumper sticker dweebs straight....and clean up America('s bumpers)!!!

i wanna be on imdb

everyone has their lists..., things they need to do, places they need to see..., etc etc...
of course, it's all too easy for us to continually put things off - too busy, not enough money, porn.
well, i too have one of these lists, or at least i like to pretend i do...

something i'd really like is to have a legitimate profile on imdb.
i swear this is one of the first sites i ever checked out back in the early days of Al Gore's internet...
and it's still alive and kicking over a decade later...
anywho - i'm not asking for much..., just a bit part in something...
made for tv movie, straight-to-DVD, 'fill-in-the-blank' Bud movie....
whateves...

now, the first question is obviously - can i act?
and to that, i'd have to say probably not very well.
but that hasn't stopped Keanu or Josh Hartnett.

and that leads us to the final question of - what am i going to do about it...?
alas, probably nothing...
typically, i'd need to fall ass backwards into something like this for it to actually happen...
i guess i'm waiting to be stopped on the street by an agent or something...
'cause i'm sure they are DIEING for another average looking white dude.

check it....

the Oakville Breakers....!?
the baddest dudes from the 80's caught on tape....(betamax to be specific)...
available for weddings & bar mitzvahs....

Freedom 35...

what's the deal with the name...?
here's a raging clue....

Lesson 1 - How to embed YouTube pussy

given I am in the 'industry', i should know how to do it....
let's see if this works....
yep like a charm...
sit back and enjoy the real Romo....

and so it begins

how exciting..., my first blog post...

sad that there are probably kids in nursery school with a blog before me..., hell they probably even have a goddamn vlog set up too.

i don't mean to hate, but isn't a blog just an excuse for a man to keep a diary?

do we really need to know every little quirky thought some random stranger has on a daily basis?

it's almost as annoying as letting everyone you know that you're 'really tired and have decided to take a nap' via another fun little application that i certainly do not need to name.

now, with those few words being said...., i find myself wanting to share a few more thoughts...

maybe even jot down another couple of sentences tomorrow if i feel like it...

so exciting.., yes i will do it!

of course, only if i'm not too tired and/or taking a nap, my status loving peeps....