Fox News + KFC Double Down = Apocalypse Now....
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Play Ball.../Why can I not create a table properly in HTML??
| Games Played | AB | Hits | Runs | 2B | HR | RBI | AVG |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | 46 | 16 | 11 | 1 | 2 | 9 | .347 |
My 2009 Regular Season Stats Vancouver Area Softball League....
Get ready for the playoffs kids...
Playoffs?
Yes, I'm talking about Playoffs.
Friday, June 26, 2009
a sad day that could have been even sadder...
http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/2009/06/25/9938211-wenn-story.html
Steve Guttenburg - wherever you are, be careful...
Steve Guttenburg - wherever you are, be careful...
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Dream Diary - Chapter 1
dear diary,
funny thing - i've been having a recurring dream lately, where yours truly is drinking & driving and very conscious of the fact that i shouldn't be behind the wheel...
it usually ends with me swerving like a jackass in front of a cop, or smashing into someone.
it's a bit odd, given i don't get drunk all that often any more, and i technically don't own a car.
so, diary, i ask why?
no response.
ok, let's try Yahoo Answers then.
here we go, perfect:
Drunk driving dreams?
I have recurring dreams where I am drunk driving and get pulled over, or crash. I've never driven drunk in my life.
ooh, great, now serve up some answers, Yahoo, and we'll call it a night....
Answerer 1
Remember its just a dream.
well, that's a shit answer.
Answerer 2
Are you doing something that you are trying to hide from others? It almost sounds like you put on one face for the public but have a private life that is full of dark secrets.
yah...., right....., (embarrassed)..., of course not..
dark secrets, please.
what a shit answer.., next.
Answerer 3
its a sign...your an alchoholic...
so stop drinkin so much child
shit answer, dr. phil.
Answerer 4
ok, your nerviouse, and embaressed. mabey you did something that would upset your parents, or teacher, porfesser, docter, friend, any one, or mabey embarrased to tell some one something. I am.
wow, seems like a solid dude.
note to self - add this guy to facebook....and lend him a dictionary for GOD's sake.
unfortunately, not even the mighty Hoo! can help a brother out with this one.
i suppose all i can do is keep it under 50..., and let the good times roll.....
funny thing - i've been having a recurring dream lately, where yours truly is drinking & driving and very conscious of the fact that i shouldn't be behind the wheel...
it usually ends with me swerving like a jackass in front of a cop, or smashing into someone.
it's a bit odd, given i don't get drunk all that often any more, and i technically don't own a car.
so, diary, i ask why?
no response.
ok, let's try Yahoo Answers then.
here we go, perfect:
Drunk driving dreams?
I have recurring dreams where I am drunk driving and get pulled over, or crash. I've never driven drunk in my life.
ooh, great, now serve up some answers, Yahoo, and we'll call it a night....
Answerer 1
Remember its just a dream.
well, that's a shit answer.
Answerer 2
Are you doing something that you are trying to hide from others? It almost sounds like you put on one face for the public but have a private life that is full of dark secrets.
yah...., right....., (embarrassed)..., of course not..
dark secrets, please.
what a shit answer.., next.
Answerer 3
its a sign...your an alchoholic...
so stop drinkin so much child
shit answer, dr. phil.
Answerer 4
ok, your nerviouse, and embaressed. mabey you did something that would upset your parents, or teacher, porfesser, docter, friend, any one, or mabey embarrased to tell some one something. I am.
wow, seems like a solid dude.
note to self - add this guy to facebook....and lend him a dictionary for GOD's sake.
unfortunately, not even the mighty Hoo! can help a brother out with this one.
i suppose all i can do is keep it under 50..., and let the good times roll.....
Saturday, May 2, 2009
to the guy i called 'asshole' earlier this evening...
sorry...
probably uncalled for and I admit that I overreacted.
perhaps you weren't judging us as you peered across your steering wheel...
it was just the way your face was trying to scream at us 'hey fuckheads, it's a 1-way street'.
and then it was the way, in my opinion, that you smugly cracked your neck and told us frankly 'it's 1-way'.
i'm not sure why my natural reaction was to respond with the 'no it's not, asshole'....
maybe it's because people who think they're right, and feel they need to tell people they're right, and enjoy the fact that they've told people that they are right, ARE in fact assholes.
or cocks, take your pick.
the result of all this - we were right, it was a 2-way street.
and I lied...
i'm not sorry I called this guy an asshole.
I rush to judgment, and I know good people when I see them, and I know assholes when I see them.
and cocks, I see lots of those...
wait a second....
probably uncalled for and I admit that I overreacted.
perhaps you weren't judging us as you peered across your steering wheel...
it was just the way your face was trying to scream at us 'hey fuckheads, it's a 1-way street'.
and then it was the way, in my opinion, that you smugly cracked your neck and told us frankly 'it's 1-way'.
i'm not sure why my natural reaction was to respond with the 'no it's not, asshole'....
maybe it's because people who think they're right, and feel they need to tell people they're right, and enjoy the fact that they've told people that they are right, ARE in fact assholes.
or cocks, take your pick.
the result of all this - we were right, it was a 2-way street.
and I lied...
i'm not sorry I called this guy an asshole.
I rush to judgment, and I know good people when I see them, and I know assholes when I see them.
and cocks, I see lots of those...
wait a second....
Sunday, April 12, 2009
my gf cried over Celebrity Apprentice....
hold on....
way a second...
are you fuckn kidding me?
no friends, this isn't a joke.
let me take you back to the scene of the whine....
it was a cold, wet Saturday evening.
take out sushi and PVR as foreplay to a boozy night.
our main feature for your fave couple - The Donald Trump Show (aka Celeb Apprentice).....
now, quick footnote - we were watching a show that had aired 2 weeks ago.
as such, the outcome of the show was known with the underlying issue for the dismissal quite apparent as well.
nevermind.
we watched the show.
Dennis 'cranberry vodka' (sorry hon) Rodman was the cause for niagara falls.
The former bad man of the NBA, had finally done enough personal damage to be relieved of his apprenticeship duties, by literally drinking himself into a pink slip (and no, I don't mean his queen gear)...
the final scenes of the 'show' were filled with tough love, reality style, as Dennis' celeb pals outted his boozy behaviour to the rest of the cast....
maybe i'm being too harsh, but I just can't get upset for something as faux dramatic as a celeb party animal going into rehab.
that's just the way it is.
it's called the Lohan factor - once bitten, twice high.
does that make me a bad person?
perhaps.
does that make my gf a true saint?
of course ;)
it also may mean that reality TV is the devil.
(this may also also mean that i'll be on the couch tonight).
there you have it kids.... another great reason for less tube and more boob.
feel me.
way a second...
are you fuckn kidding me?
no friends, this isn't a joke.
let me take you back to the scene of the whine....
it was a cold, wet Saturday evening.
take out sushi and PVR as foreplay to a boozy night.
our main feature for your fave couple - The Donald Trump Show (aka Celeb Apprentice).....
now, quick footnote - we were watching a show that had aired 2 weeks ago.
as such, the outcome of the show was known with the underlying issue for the dismissal quite apparent as well.
nevermind.
we watched the show.
Dennis 'cranberry vodka' (sorry hon) Rodman was the cause for niagara falls.
The former bad man of the NBA, had finally done enough personal damage to be relieved of his apprenticeship duties, by literally drinking himself into a pink slip (and no, I don't mean his queen gear)...
the final scenes of the 'show' were filled with tough love, reality style, as Dennis' celeb pals outted his boozy behaviour to the rest of the cast....
maybe i'm being too harsh, but I just can't get upset for something as faux dramatic as a celeb party animal going into rehab.
that's just the way it is.
it's called the Lohan factor - once bitten, twice high.
does that make me a bad person?
perhaps.
does that make my gf a true saint?
of course ;)
it also may mean that reality TV is the devil.
(this may also also mean that i'll be on the couch tonight).
there you have it kids.... another great reason for less tube and more boob.
feel me.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Team Morgan
Starring in: Jammin' in Jamaica
It started with separate flights from the Great White North....
It ended with some dumb-ass t-shirts as parting gifts...
As for that part in the middle.....?
Well.., it was a trip for the ages.
Let's take us back to where this thing began.....
The fab-3 from Toronto got the vacation started, with an earlier and shorter flight down the coast.
Shortly behind them were the duo out of Vancouver; rearing to go, albeit facing the 7-hour flight on one of Air Canada's old school fleet.
A nice treat awaited us all on landing, an arrival lounge the 'Sandals-way', serving us our first (and certainly not last) frosty Red Stripes.
Jubilation and relaxation soon would turn to trepidation and perspiration unfortunately, as our final destination was a bumpy and bouncy 90 minutes away.
That's the bad news...
Fortunately, the good news and good times began immediately once we could see the sign from the front window of the fun bus -
Sandals Whitehouse - Welcome to Paradise....
I think it's safe to say that we were all very eager to sprint through the front doors as soon as we could.
From there, the theme and word of the week would be soon uttered....that of course being 'YES!'.
'A welcome cocktail, guys?' Yes.
'Another appetizer, sir?' Yes.
'2 scoops, ma'am?' Hell YES.
Day (Evening) 1 - Synchronize your clocks
Due to the differing travel schedules, and equally long days, the Team split up for the inaugural meal. One thing was certain though...., the Team was here...together.
And that's all that really would matter this night and for the rest of the week.
Day 2 - Which way to the beach....?
There's nothing quite like that first day of a vacation....
Everyone's all bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and whiter than Casper.
Another theme would soon emerge that would last all week -
'First one up gets the Team some chairs'.
Unfortunately, the Vancouver contingent were never able to participate in this goodwill activity.
Tennis was the excuse given....: -5 spirit points.
The first day is no doubt always the most exciting:
Bars a plenty, restaurants of all sorts.
'More anything? More everything!'.
The rational outlook should be that we all have a full week ahead, no need to overindulge....
Of course, rational and Jamaica don't have any place hanging out with one another.
The result - everyone at the table gets an appetizer for lunch.
Everyone also needs a drink in hand at all times.
Let the good times roll, people.....
The night concluded with a little Italian, some wine, and the team uniforms were distributed..., the VanCity crew trying to salvage some of those spirit points lost earlier in the day.
Day 3 - Grey sky's gonna clear up?
If there was ever anything negative to say about the vacation, it would have to be those damn puffy white things called clouds.
Day 3 was certainly the only day where those things got in the way.
A fairly overcast 9-5 session be had..., but don't forget kids - UV is still gonna getcha....
A few 'lobstered' bits and pieces....: -10 Banana Boat points.
Day 4 - Put on a happy face....
Was there ever any doubt?
This is Jamaica, mon; the sun is always shining....and it came back for us all in full force.
Day 5 - See Day 4
add-in 1 prize-winning Team member..., and just as quickly, subtract 2 shitty prizes.
ho-hum, I suppose this guy decided that his real prize would be taken out on the 11 o'clock Chocolate-fest....
(note to Pardy - there's no real winner for those who consume 8 bonbons in 60 seconds flat).
Day 6 - See Day 4
add-in a quick jaunt out to the deeper blue stuff for some snorkeling.
Day 7 - See Fun... Sea Fun
Nark with some waterskiing....judges score it an 8 out of 10.
As well, the Team faced off with some hobie cat'n, and are still looking for the wind.
One final night at ye ol' Martini bar, and we once again go to bed with a smile on.
Day 8 - Leaving on a jet plane
Sadly, our run on Jamaica had to come to an end at some point.
The Team says a final goodbye, stuff as much 'all-inclusive' they can into their carry-on, and hop back on the fun bus.
-------------
This was truly an amazing trip, and something that we've all wanted for so many reasons.....we will all certainly never forget it.
Big thanks again go out to Big D and the Captain....
Until we meet again in the sequel, 'Smilin' in St. Lucia'.....
Team Morgan 1, Everyone else 0.
:)
p.s. just for you, Nark - BRRAH
It started with separate flights from the Great White North....
It ended with some dumb-ass t-shirts as parting gifts...
As for that part in the middle.....?
Well.., it was a trip for the ages.
Let's take us back to where this thing began.....
The fab-3 from Toronto got the vacation started, with an earlier and shorter flight down the coast.
Shortly behind them were the duo out of Vancouver; rearing to go, albeit facing the 7-hour flight on one of Air Canada's old school fleet.
A nice treat awaited us all on landing, an arrival lounge the 'Sandals-way', serving us our first (and certainly not last) frosty Red Stripes.
Jubilation and relaxation soon would turn to trepidation and perspiration unfortunately, as our final destination was a bumpy and bouncy 90 minutes away.
That's the bad news...
Fortunately, the good news and good times began immediately once we could see the sign from the front window of the fun bus -
Sandals Whitehouse - Welcome to Paradise....
I think it's safe to say that we were all very eager to sprint through the front doors as soon as we could.
From there, the theme and word of the week would be soon uttered....that of course being 'YES!'.
'A welcome cocktail, guys?' Yes.
'Another appetizer, sir?' Yes.
'2 scoops, ma'am?' Hell YES.
Day (Evening) 1 - Synchronize your clocks
Due to the differing travel schedules, and equally long days, the Team split up for the inaugural meal. One thing was certain though...., the Team was here...together.
And that's all that really would matter this night and for the rest of the week.
Day 2 - Which way to the beach....?
There's nothing quite like that first day of a vacation....
Everyone's all bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and whiter than Casper.
Another theme would soon emerge that would last all week -
'First one up gets the Team some chairs'.
Unfortunately, the Vancouver contingent were never able to participate in this goodwill activity.
Tennis was the excuse given....: -5 spirit points.
The first day is no doubt always the most exciting:
Bars a plenty, restaurants of all sorts.
'More anything? More everything!'.
The rational outlook should be that we all have a full week ahead, no need to overindulge....
Of course, rational and Jamaica don't have any place hanging out with one another.
The result - everyone at the table gets an appetizer for lunch.
Everyone also needs a drink in hand at all times.
Let the good times roll, people.....
The night concluded with a little Italian, some wine, and the team uniforms were distributed..., the VanCity crew trying to salvage some of those spirit points lost earlier in the day.
Day 3 - Grey sky's gonna clear up?
If there was ever anything negative to say about the vacation, it would have to be those damn puffy white things called clouds.
Day 3 was certainly the only day where those things got in the way.
A fairly overcast 9-5 session be had..., but don't forget kids - UV is still gonna getcha....
A few 'lobstered' bits and pieces....: -10 Banana Boat points.
Day 4 - Put on a happy face....
Was there ever any doubt?
This is Jamaica, mon; the sun is always shining....and it came back for us all in full force.
Day 5 - See Day 4
add-in 1 prize-winning Team member..., and just as quickly, subtract 2 shitty prizes.
ho-hum, I suppose this guy decided that his real prize would be taken out on the 11 o'clock Chocolate-fest....
(note to Pardy - there's no real winner for those who consume 8 bonbons in 60 seconds flat).
Day 6 - See Day 4
add-in a quick jaunt out to the deeper blue stuff for some snorkeling.
Day 7 - See Fun... Sea Fun
Nark with some waterskiing....judges score it an 8 out of 10.
As well, the Team faced off with some hobie cat'n, and are still looking for the wind.
One final night at ye ol' Martini bar, and we once again go to bed with a smile on.
Day 8 - Leaving on a jet plane
Sadly, our run on Jamaica had to come to an end at some point.
The Team says a final goodbye, stuff as much 'all-inclusive' they can into their carry-on, and hop back on the fun bus.
-------------
This was truly an amazing trip, and something that we've all wanted for so many reasons.....we will all certainly never forget it.
Big thanks again go out to Big D and the Captain....
Until we meet again in the sequel, 'Smilin' in St. Lucia'.....
Team Morgan 1, Everyone else 0.
:)
p.s. just for you, Nark - BRRAH
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